This article has all of the episodes from Season One of Plasmaster's 'hit' series Cuboy Academy. You can read them here to get a robotic boyfriend, get eaten whole, learn how to farm rice, get (fake) free snacks, or...um, read NMDFanfictionMon? Okay, so those don't make much sense, but you can still read all of the Season One episodes here, written by Plasmaster for your enjoyment.
If you are looking for Season Two episodes, you can find those here!
If you are looking for the most recent episodes of Cuboy Academy, you can find those here!
Episodes/stories in season one will be listed here. For now, there will be twenty 'episodes' in a season, but this may be changed later.
Episode One-Zapo'd by Cupid's Arrow
The five friends are standing outside Kapowski and Swindler's lockers. The bell is going to ring in five minutes, so they are just hanging out and talking.
"Did you see last night's episode of Nitrome Idol? I can't believe Norman got voted off! Despite his really big head, he was a great singer!" Snow said.
"I know, right? Plus, he's really dreamy." Licorice replied.
"Do you have any idea what they're talking about?" Kapowski asked Swindler.
"No idea. Don't you?" Swindler responded.
"Well, why not? You like Snow and she is interested in Nitrome Survivor."
"It's Nitrome Idol."
"Isn't that what I said?"
Kapowski sighed. "Is there a point, to what you're saying?"
"Well, yeah. If you like Snow, and you want to get to know her, try being interested in something she likes." Swindler said.
"Hey, that's actually really good advice. Usually I just tune out what you say."
Somebody sighs loudly and sadly. The group turn their attention to Zapo, a purple robot with a broad yellow stripe going down the middle of his head and body, who is walking down the hallway looking down at his shoes. He is wearing a torn-up brown backpack.
"Hey, Zapo, what's wrong? Why are you sad?" Swindler asked.
"I am a robot. I do not feel sadness. Or love. That is why I am, or at least, trying to express, sadness." Zapo replied in his robotic voice. He sighs again, even though, as a robot, it cannot express much emotion, and trudges down the hallway at a slow pace.
"I feel bad for him." Swindler said.
"What does he mean by 'love'?" Rex209 asked.
"Oh, well...it's kind of complicated, Rex." Kapowski replied.
"Is it a difficult math equation?" Rex209 asked.
"Well, no, it's like...wow, it's so hard to explain...it's the strangest feeling in the world, and yet, it's the one that people probably long for the most. It's an amazing, but mysterious feeling that really no-one understands. I guess you could say that love is--" Kapowski's explanation is cut-off by the bell.
"Oh, thank goodness, I thought I'd have to listen to that whole thing. See you guys at lunch." Swindler said. The five friends part and go to their classes.
At lunch, the five friends are sitting at their table.
"Okay, Swindler, I took your advice and spent all of math class researching." Kapowski said.
"You spent math class on your phone? Funny, I did the same thing." Swindler replied.
"You spent math class researching Nitrome Idol?"
"No, I spent in playing Icebreaker. Best. Game. Ever!"
"Yeah, well, anyways, I am going to test my knowledge by starting up a little chat with Snow about it."
"Good luck." Swindler said. Rex209 stands up and begins to walk away. "Hey, where are you guys going?"
"Rex here wants to go talk to Zapo over there who is sitting by himself. I'd rather not, but, where she goes, I go, so I'm kind of stuck." Blue said, his voice transmitting through Rex209's speakers.
"All right, then." Rex209 and Blue walk over to Zapo, who is sitting all by himself. Zapo's chest panel is open with a cord snaking from it, plugging into a 12-volt battery pack.
"Are you enjoying your electricity?" Rex209 asked.
"Oh. Hello, Rex209." Zapo said.
"Um, I'm here too, you know! Man, it's like I'm invisible." Blue said.
"I would be sorry, but I cannot feel sorrow. Nonetheless, I apologize, but please be aware that as this apology is coming from a robot, it is completely empty and has no meaning. Sorry." Zapo replied.
"Wow, you were right, this guy is depressed...or, um, would be, I guess." Blue said.
"Why are you upset?" Rex209 asked.
"Last weekend I went and saw a romantic movie with some friends. The movie made me understand what love is. But as my understanding grew, so did my awareness that as a robot, I cannot feel love. And I felt empty and incomplete, like I was running low on oil. So, after I refilled my oil filter, I realized I still feel empty. And now I am--or would be--sad." Zapo replied.
"That is so sad. I want to know what 'love' is exactly. Can you tell me?" Rex209 asked.
"I suppose I could show you some of the movie I saw. Maybe it would help to have someone else finally understand." Zapo said. He played a clip of the movie on his phone and showed it to Rex209. Blue was disinterested and fell asleep.
After watching the clip, Rex209 said, "That was amazing. I feel like I finally understand what love is...Zapo, would you like to be my boyfriend?"
"You really mean it? The answer is yes. Ha, ha, I finally feel-or would feel-happy. Thank you, Rex209." Zapo replied.
Blue woke up. "Huh? What's going on?"
"Zapo and I are now a couple." Rex209 replied.
"What?! Wait, I am NOT coming on a date with you and Zapo, no way, Jose! I'm going to go find Kapowski." Blue said, hopping out of Rex209 and slipping away.
"Finally, we are all alone." Zapo said in his monotone voice.
Blue slipped his way over to the table where Kapowski sat.
"So, um, aren't you glad that Justin Bennet won season three?" Kapowski asked.
"Um, Justin Bennet lost season three. He was the first to get voted off, in fact." Snow replied.
Kapowski turned red. "Oh, uh..."
Blue hopped onto the chair next to Kapowski and waved his arms frantically.
"What? Blue, where's Rex? Why are you freaking out? Blub blub blur bloo bluck? I'm sorry Blue, I can't understand you without Rex's translation program, what is it?"
Blue wrote down his message on a slip of paper and showed it to the whole group.
"Rex and Zapo are in love? Awwww that's so cute! Blue must be freaking out 'cause he is so happy for them!" Licorice said.
Blue slapped his forehead and wrote down more words on the paper.
"Oh, I get it, if Rex is spending all her time with Zapo, nobody can understand you." Snow said. Blue nodded.
"Well we can't break them up! Zapo was totes sad before, and Rex would be heartbroken!" Licorice said.
The lunch bell rings and they all stand up from their table. Rex209 and Zapo walk by, laughing in robotic tones.
"Don't worry, Blue, I'll find a way to get your voice back. But you heard what Licorice said, no shenanigans involving their relationship, got it?" Kapowski said.
"Blor blub blorp." Blue replied, waving his hand dismissively as he slithered away.
After a few moments of silence, Kapowski said, "I'm gonna take that as a yes!"
The group is back at their lockers before the first bell on the next day. Zapo is with them this time. Kapowski is strapping a headband to Blue's head.
"Okay Blue, this headband will transmit your thoughts into words. Just try not to think things that you don't want people to hear. Okay...try it out!" Kapowski said.
"Testing testing, one two three. Hey it works! Kapowski is a genius, Kapowski is a genius! Wow, my voice sounds so cool with this thing!" Blue said.
"Yeah, and there are other settings on it too. Ha ha, here's one for Principal Nitrome Boss." Kapowski said. He turned the dial on the side of the headband.
This time, Blue's voice was an angry, deep voice. "Get back to work!!!!!111 No peanuts for you! You're fired, you're fired, and you're fired! I could do this all day!" Blue said.
The whole group laughed, with the exception of Zapo and Rex209.
"Well, I flunked the math test thanks to me researching Nitrome Idol." Kapowski said.
"You flunked? So did I! Fist bump!" Swindler said, raising a fist.
"No. Just no." Kapowski replied.
Suddenly, Zapo's friend, Canary 214-LE, walked up to the group.
"Hey, Zapo! Good to see you again. So, did you like that romantic comedy we went to see the other night?" he asked.
"Comedy?" Zapo asked.
"Yeah, man, the whole movie was making fun of relationships that are thought to be perfect, but really aren't. You...did know it was a comedy, right?"
"This means that my whole view on love is incorrect. I am sorry, Rex209, for teaching you incorrectly about love." Zapo said.
"No...what we have...it feels right. It feels like what love really is. I think I finally understand that--" Rex209's speech is interrupted by static and a series of shocks and buzzes. Rex209 shuts down and thuds to the floor.
"Why is every speech about love we try to make interrupted by something?" Kapowski asked to no-one in particular.
"I don't know, but it's kinda funny..." Swindler said.
Rex209 turns back on and stands up.
"Are you all right, Rex209?" Zapo asked.
"Yes, I am functioning perfectly." Rex209 replied.
"I think we should...break up...Rex209. I do not think I really understand what love is yet." Zapo said.
"What do you mean by 'break up'? What do you mean by 'love'?" Rex209 asked.
"Huh, I guess she glitched and doesn't remember emotion now." Snow said.
"Oh...well then, I guess my plan of walking away right now is less awkward than it would have been. Good bye!" Zapo said, walking away with Canary.
Licorice, Snow, and Rex209 walk away to take Rex to the nurse after her shutdown.
"Finally. This headband thing is cool, but I missed hanging out with Rex." Blue said.
"Wait, Blue, did you cause that glitch in Rex?" Kapowski asked.
"If you're implying that I tampered with her memory chip and rigged it to reset at precisely 7:06, you're dead wrong. It was Swindler." Blue said.
Kapowski looked at Swindler, puzzled.
"Their little lovey-dovey chit-chat was getting really annoying. What was I supposed to do?" Swindler asked.
Kapowski and Blue laughed.
Kapowski said, "Well, all is well that ends well, I guess. Today, I think we all learned a valuable lesson. The definition of love varies from person to person, and while nobody truly understands what love is, we all feel love at some point because love is--"
The bell rings, interrupting his speech.
"Oh, come on!"
Episode Two-Snow's First Mission
The group of five friends were in science class. Professor was in the front of the class, giving a lecture about the molecular makeup of the orange enzyme. Everyone was bored and not paying attention to the lesson.
"This is so boring and I am not paying attention to this lesson." Swindler said.
"Um, the narrator just said that." Kapowski replied.
"Never mind. And I know. Usually I find Professor's lessons so enthralling, but today's is really dry. I wish I had some way to get out of here."
Suddenly, Mail Bird, a brown bird with a messenger bag full of mail and envelopes, flutters into the room.
"I have a pass for Miss Lady Snow Fox, Professor!" he called.
Professor nodded and continued with his lecture. Mail Bird hands Snow the envelope and leaves to deliver more mail. Snow opens the letter and reads over it, being careful not to let Licorice read it over her shoulder.
"Professor, I have an...early dismissal." Snow called. Professor nods, a bit irritated, and continues the lesson.
Snow leaves the room with her things.
"Aw, man! She gets to leave early...lucky." Licorice said.
"You know, Snow seems to get a lot of early dismissals. What do you think that's all about?" Swindler asked.
"I heard she has a boyfriend that knows a guy that can get her early dismissals whenever she wants." Licorice said.
"Nah, if she had a boyfriend she'd tell you. I heard she sneaks the exact same early dismissal pass into Mail Bird's bag every day so that she can leave early." Blue said.
"Nah, if she did that her grades would be really bad, and she gets great grades." Kapowski said.
"Maybe she is a secret agent." Rex209 said. After a few moments of silence, the whole group laughs.
"Yeah right. That's the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard." Swindler said.
Meanwhile, Snow was at her locker. She dialed in her locker combination backwards and a secret panel opens next to her locker She goes inside and closes it behind her. She stood in a dimly lit room with a large monitor and many blinking lights and dials on a dashboard below it. A man in a swivel chair sat in front of it.
"Agent Snow Fox reporting for duty sir." she said.
The man in the swivel chair stood up and smiled at her. He comes into the light, revealing that he is Monty, a grey-haired scientist.
"Snow, it's good to see you again. Today I have called you in a bit early because I have an urgent mission for you. I know you've never been in the field before, but don't worry, I'll guide you through it the whole time. Tonight is the Cuboy Academy's first home football game, against none other than our rivals, BetterthanCuboy Academy. Ugh, I hate that name. Anyways, one of BetterthanCuboy Academy's more mischievous students, Austin Carter, is going to be there. I have no doubt in my mind that he is planning something. I want you to go to BetterthanCuboy Academy, find Austin, discover his plans, and report back." Monty explained.
"What!? This is...this so much...my first mission...I don't know if I'm ready to--" she began.
"Too late for that, you're leaving now." Monty interrupted, pulling a lever on the wall. A trapdoor opened beneath Snow and she plummeted through it.
Meanwhile, at the lunch table, the group has gathered to eat lunch.
"Maybe she is secretly a magical unicorn and has to leave early to polish her horn. Horns like that don't shine naturally, you know." Licorice suggested.
There was a long pause. "Okay, now you've crossed boundaries so far-fetched that even I won't believe it." Swindler said.
At BetterthanCuboy Academy, Snow was sneaking around, trying to find Austin. She had climbed onto the roof for a better view.
"There you are." she said to herself, looking through her binoculars. Austin was in the courtyard, eating with a friend at a lunch table. Snow put in her earpiece and pushed a button on the side. "I found Austin."
"Well done. Now, try to get close enough that you can hear what he is saying." Monty replied through her earpiece.
Snow slid down the roof and shinnied down a gutter pipe. She walked with a crowd of students that were passing by Austin's table. She then rolled surreptitiously underneath Austin's table and pulled out her recording device. She switched it on and recorded Austin's conversation.
"So yeah, anyways, when my dad went to this school, he was the ultimate mischief king. At Cuboy Academy's first home game of the season, against us, he pulled a prank on the whole football team by loosening the screws on their benches. They fell and made total fools of themselves. So tonight, I will uphold my father's legacy." Austin said.
"Uh huh..." his friend said, disinterested.
"Justin, I feel like you aren't listening. Maybe you'll be more interested when I tell you what I'm going to do! Tonight, at half-time, I am going to pull a rope and dump Oodlegobs all over Cuboy Academy's entire student body. That's right, not just a football team, no way, I'm going above and beyond."
"Whoa, that is pretty cool. Where'd you get the Oodlegobs?"
"Well it wasn't easy. I had to sneak into Cuboy Academy's basement and use an old Charomat to make 'em all, and then I had to catch them of course...not fun. But it'll all be worth it. For the ultimate prank."
Snow switched off her recording device and sneaked away, satisfied with the information she gathered.
The group of friends is gathered at their lockers before sixth period.
"Well, maybe she has relatives in Antarctica, and..." Blue began.
"I'm going to stop you right there. Hey, there goes Snow right now! Hey Snow!" Kapowski called.
Snow ran by them, in a hurry to get to Monty.
"Oh...I guess she didn't hear me..." Kapowski said.
"Ooh, I've got it! She owns a pretzel factory and--" Licorice began.
Meanwhile, Snow reported her findings to Monty.
"Oodlegobs, you say!? This is not good. Oodlegobs have been banned in over thirty countries, unfortunately ours not being one of them, but nonetheless, they are dangerous! They eat--EVERYTHING-and they eat it whole. Austin may think this is just a harmless prank, but the lives of the entire student body could very well be in danger. Snow, you need to stop Austin at the football game tonight. Do not let him pull that rope." Monty said.
"I--yes sir. I will do my very best to--" she began.
"Oh look at that, sixth period is beginning and you don't want to miss that. See you at the game!" he said, pulling the lever on the wall.
A trapdoor opened underneath Monty's feet.
"Oh boy, I've got to get these levers labeled." he said before falling through the hole.
That night, at the football game, the gang of friends are sitting in the bleachers, watching the game.
"I haven't seen Snow all day. Do you think she is here?" Licorice asked.
"I don't think football is Snow's thing. She's probably visiting relatives in Antarctica. Or polishing her unicorn horn. Or fighting off orange enzymes or whatever." Swindler joked.
The others looked at him, surprised.
"What? Like I've never listened to one of Professor's lectures."
Behind the concessions stand, Austin stood next to a long rope dangling from the roof of the concessions stand. He watched as Snow fought off orange enzymes.
"I knew someone would try to stop me. It's a good thing I pay attention during science class." Austin said.
"Why didn't I listen to Professor's lecture? What breaks apart molecular bonds in orange enzymes again? Oh boy..." Snow said as she fought the enzymes. A throwing orange enzyme grabbed her and threw her up into the bleachers. She landed amongst her group of friends.
"Hey, here's Snow! You missed kickoff. Also, people usually don't fly to their seats." Blue said through Rex209's speakers.
"Yeah, okay. Hey! Kapowski, do you have your science textbook?" she asked.
"Yeah, right here." he answered.
"Can I borrow it? I need it, it's urgent!"
"Sure, anything you need." he said, giving her his textbook.
"Thanks!" she called as she ran down the stairs.
Kapowski was blushing. "She borrowed my textbook." he said, love-struck.
"It's just a textbook. Don't get so excited about it." Rex209 said.
Back at the concession stand, Austin is looking at his watch.
"It's just about time." he said to himself, gripping the rope. Suddenly, Snow dropped in, clutching Kapowski's textbook.
"I thought you were gone for good!" he said.
"Nope, and now I have the ultimate weapon against your enzymes." she replied.
"A textbook? Oh no, you looked up how to disassemble molecular bonds in orange enzymes?"
"No, who has time for that? I'm just going to hit them with the textbook."
After beating up the enzymes with the textbook, Snow tackled Austin to the ground.
"What are you going to do with me?" Austin asked. Snow smiled.
"I'll have another double decker cheddar cheese lip smacker bacon stacker hamburger, and make it snappy! I'm missing the band's halftime performance!!!!!!111" Principal Nitrome Boss shouted.
"Yes, sir..." Austin said, making another cheeseburger. "How much longer do I have to do this?"
"You're going to work the concession stand for the rest of the game and then do garbage cleanup in the bleachers and wash the dishes. So, a while." Snow replied, leaning up against the wall.
"Where's my burger???????///" Nitrome Boss yelled.
Episode Three-School Scrimmage
The gang were gathered in front of their lockers, as usual, chatting before the bell.
"So what you're saying is you think that green enzymes are jerks?" Licorice asked.
"No, I--yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." Blue replied. Suddenly, a penguin slid by on its belly, in a hurry.
"Hey, what's the rush, little guy? Class doesn't start for another five minutes." Swindler said.
"Run for your lives! Hallbert is coming!" the penguin called as it slid away.
"Hallbert?" Kapowski asked.
"Must be a new kid." Swindler said.
As if on cue, a muscular boy with Nordic blonde hair wearing a horned helmet, tight brown clothes, and a red handkerchief hulked into the hallway.
"Hey, are you the new guy?" Kapowski asked.
"Shut up, pipsqueak! Give me your lunch money and your homework or I'll hammer throw you through the roof!" Hallbert boomed.
"There's no way you'd be able to--waaaaaaaaah!" Kapowski cried as Hallbert hurled him upwards, sending him crashing through the ceiling.
"Hey, you can't push around Kapowski like that!" Swindler yelled.
Hallbert turned on him, fuming. "Oh, I can't? Because I think I just did."
"Well, I don't know what your problem is, but--"
"My problem is that you're still talking. I may be new here but I am taking over this school. Do you want to fight?"
"Yeah, Swindler, beat him up for bullying Kapowski!" Licorice and Snow said. "Swindler, Swindler, Swindler, Swindler!" they chanted.
"Well?" Hallbert asked, an eyebrow raised in question.
"All right, fine. I'll do it." Swindler said. The two shook hands to make it official.
"After school, at the basketball courts. Be there, or I'll have to send your little friend skyward again."
The bell rang and Hallbert stomped away.
"Swindler, you've never been in a fight before. After thorough scans of both you and Hallbert's muscular mass, I have concluded that Hallbert has an 80 percent chance of beating you." Rex209 informed him.
"That's not so bad." Swindler said.
"The other twenty percent is composed of the possibilities that either a teacher will stop the fight before it starts, you chicken out and don't show up, or the world blows up before school ends." she continued.
"Oh." Swindler said as he began to sweat nervously.
"It's all right, honey. We'll help you get ready for your fight through a manly montage scene." Licorice said.
"Thanks." Swindler replied. They all left the hall to go to their classes.
"-aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" Kapowski crashed through the roof. He laid on the floor, covered in plaster and drywall.
In gym class, all of the students buzzed with talk of the fight.
"Hey, Swindler, there you are. We've been looking everywhere for you! Why are you hiding behind the football equipment bins?" Snow asked.
"Oh, you know, just...hoping the world spontaneously explodes before school ends." he replied.
"I have never seen you nervous before. Not at basketball games, not for a test, not during your ballet recital..." Blue said.
"Hey, I thought we said we'd never bring it up again." Swindler said.
"C'mon Swindler, it's time for your manly montage sess-wait, ballet?" Licorice said. Swindler groaned in embarrassment.
"Rex, play the manly montage music track!" Licorice commanded. Inspiring music blared from Rex209's speakers.
Swindler went through his montage, a series of flexing, lifting weights, running, and doing pushups with Kapowski's textbooks stacked on his back.
"Phew! That was some workout." Swindler said.
"Yeah, but will it be enough to beat Hallbert?" Kapowski asked. "I, uh, I don't want to go to the moon again. It was dark...and scary."
"My scanners indicate that Swindler's chances have increased by a full two percent." Rex209 informed them.
"Yeah!" Swindler said, raising his fist in triumph.
"We have about an hour before the fight. Let's hope for a miracle." Blue said.
At the basketball courts, a large crowd had gathered, chanting "Fight, fight, fight!"
The group of friends stood in one corner. Swindler sipped water from a bottle held by Snow, while Kapowski wiped his shoulders with a wet towel.
"All right, Swindler, I want to say something to you's before the fight. This guy, you can take him down. He's all show. He's all talk. He's all bark and no bite. He ain't got nothing on you as long as you go out there and believe in yourself." Blue said.
"Wow. You really think so?" Swindler replied.
"No. I don't know. I heard that in a movie once, I was just trying it out. Good luck, and try not to die."
Kapowski looked over to see Professor standing in the crowd, sipping a soda.
"Professor? You're here?! Why aren't you stopping the fight?" Kapowski asked.
"Are you kidding? I've been hyped for this all day. I even sold tickets for this thing! Wooooo! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Professor replied, chanting.
Mail Bird stood in the middle of the court with a megaphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen-en-en-en! The fight you have all been waiting for is about to begin-in-in! It would be so cool if this thing actually had an echo to it-it-it-it! Now, put your hands, tentacles, wings, flippers, and other appendages together for the School Scrimmage-age-age-age!" he announced.
"Is it too late for the world to explode?" Swindler asked.
"Your chance of winning just went down by one percent." Rex209 replied.
"Wait...the last time you did a scan was after the montage, when I had gained confidence. Are you saying that if I just have confidence, I can win?" Swindler asked.
"I am simply stating that your chances of winning just declined. But if that's what you got from it, let's go with that."
Swindler stood up taller, trying to gain more confidence.
"In this corner, we have-" Mail Bird began.
"Just get on with it! Woooo!" Professor called.
"One two three fight!" Mail Bird said hurriedly, fleeing from the battlefield.
Swindler and Hallbert ran at each other, fists raised. Hallbert grabbed Swindler and hurled him upward. Swindler went flying sky high, screaming.
Hallbert flexed and raised his fists in victory.
The gang frowned and looked down, sad that Swindler had lost.
"It's not over yet! Look out!" Professor shouted from the audience.
Hallbert looked up, mouth gaping, just as Swindler slammed down on him from above. The crowd went completely silent, waiting in anticipation to see who would emerge triumphantly from the cloud of dust. Swindler staggered out as dust cleared. A roaring cheer went up.
Hallbert, unconscious, was lying in a crater in the middle of the basketball court.
"Nice, you used his own tactic of throwing people against him!" Snow cheered.
"Actually, I just got lucky that I fell on top of him. Now can you take me to the nurse? That was a really hard fall." Swindler replied. The girls giggled and escorted him inside the school.
Kapowski walked over to the Professor.
"All right, c'mon, fork it over." Kapowski said, holding his hand out.
Professor looked around cautiously and sighed. He slipped twenty dollars into Kapowski's hand and walked away.
"You bet money that Swindler would win?" Blue asked.
"Are you kidding? No way!" he said. "I bet money on whether or not the world would explode before the fight started."
Episode Four-Birdened with Work
Mail Bird is sitting in a dark office in front of a large mahogany desk. Pink slips littered the desk. Mail Bird hoped that none of them were meant for him.
Nitrome Boss stormed into the room, furiously shouting into his cell phone.
"Well I don't care!!!!!!111 Get me those reports now or you're fired!!!!!!111 ...I love you too, Mom. Okay, I've got to go now, there's an inferior employee in my office right now. Four, and hold the tartar sauce. Okay, bye mommy!" he said before hanging up. The small swivel chair practically disappeared under his large frame as he took a seat at this desk.
"All right, Mail Bird. I've called you in here to discuss your work ethics."
"It wasn't me! It was Jerry, the other school mailman! He did it, and I told him not to!" Mail Bird pleaded.
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, so you haven't found out about the missing stash of peanuts?"
Mail Bird gulped nervously.
"I'll deal with Jerry later. But right now we're talking about you. Your work ethics are, surprisingly, better than most employees here. I admit that much. I will increase your lunch break by thirty seconds, good-bye." Nitrome Boss said quickly.
"But, sir! I, uh, I really think I deserve a holiday. Delivering mail is hard work, and, well...I don't get much vacation time."
"Better make that a ten second increase. Give your employees too much and they start getting greedy. Now get out before I decrease your lunch break time!!!!!!!111"
Mail Bird fluttered out in a hurry.
The group of five friends are sitting at their lunch table, chatting.
"Hey, isn't that Mail Bird over there? Funny, he usually doesn't show up until ten seconds from now." Snow said.
"Yeah. He looks upset. Maybe we should talk to him?" Swindler suggested.
"Why get involved with the help?" Licorice asked.
"He is an employee at the school, technically he has more authority than you think. I'm going to go talk to him." Snow said.
"I'll come with you. I am very good at solving problems." Rex209 said.
"Oh, great. I just want to eat my lunch, but now Rex has to go and TALK to people." Blue complained as Rex209 lumbered after Snow.
"Hey, Mail Bird, what's the problem?" Snow asked.
"Oh, hi guys. I'm just a little down because Nitrome Boss won't give me any vacation time. All I want is one day to myself, to relax on the beach or something." Mail Bird replied.
"Well, why won't he?"
"He's a little, well, strict, in case you haven't noticed."
"Oh, we've noticed. I've gotten like, five detentions from that guy!" Blue said.
"And I had to go to them with you. You're not the only one who gets yanked around to places they don't want to go." Rex replied.
"Don't sass me!" Blue shouted.
Ignoring their argument, Snow continued. "Why don't you go on strike, Mail Bird? That'll teach Nitrome Boss to respect your demands!"
"I would, but there isn't exactly a 'School Messenger' union to back me up.
"Hmm...a union, eh?" Snow said.
"Oh boy, you got her thinking, and that's never good." Blue said.
"Don't worry Mail Bird, I know where we can get you a union, or at least some people to back you up!"
"You do? Oh, this is fantastic Snow, thank you!" Mail Bird said.
"Great. We just signed ourselves up for the Mail Bird Union." Blue said.
"Mail Bird Union!?" Licorice yelled. The group was now gathered in the hallway, and Snow had just told them the plan.
"I'm in. It sounds fun. Besides, Mail Bird works really hard to do things for us. Why not return the favor?" Kapowski suggested.
"Me too! Let's help Mail Bird!" Swindler agreed.
"I don't really want to, but Rex does, so..." Blue quipped.
"C'mon Licorice, Mail Bird does so much for us. Why not help him out?" Snow asked.
"Because he's just the help. It's his job to do things for us and he gets a paycheck in return. The way I see it, he should just take his medicine and live with it." Licorice replied.
"Don't be selfish Licorice. You need to learn that--"
"I'm done talking about this. C'mon honey, let's go." Licorice said, walking away. "Um, Swindler, aren't you coming?"
"Sorry my little Licorice Lick, but I've made a commitment to help Mail Bird. I'll see you later though, okay?" Swindler replied.
"Hmph!" Licorice harrumphed as she strutted out the hallway.
"So, what do we do first?" Kapowski asked.
"First, we make picket signs that have slogans to convey Mail Bird's dissatisfaction with his vacation time."
"Okay, sounds cool."
The next day after school, Mail Bird and the four friends stood in the courtyard outside Nitrome Boss's office, parading around with their picket signs.
"What do we want?" Snow shouted into a megaphone.
"A holiday!" the others chanted.
"When do we want it?"
Nitrome Boss opened his office window and peeked outside.
"What is going on out here?!?!" he yelled.
"This is a strike, and we won't stop until our demands have been met!" Snow shouted into the megaphone.
"I have no patience for you children. Now leave at once!!!!111 I am trying to have a conference with Jerry!!!!!111"
"You need to have more patience with your employees, Principal Nitrome Boss, particularly Mail Bird here." Swindler said.
"What do we want?" Snow yelled.
"PATIENCE!" the others replied.
"When do we want it?"
"Get out of here or I will have security escort you off the premises! By the way Jerry, you're fired." Nitrome Boss said.
"Guys, we should leave. This was never going to work." Mail Bird said, flying away. The others followed, sauntering away in defeat.
The next day the group was in science class.
"No! I won't have it. Mail Bird deserves a holiday!" Snow said.
"But you heard Nitrome Boss. He specifically said, 'Get out of here or I will have security escort you off the premises!'" Blue said in his best Nitrome Boss impression.
"There has to be another way." Snow said.
"We could bribe Nitrome Boss?" Swindler suggested.
"No, where'd we ever get that kind of money? Besides, he's a fat old man that runs an academy. He's probably already loaded with money."
"Guys! Guys! You'll never believe this!" Mail Bird said, fluttering into the room.
"What is it?" Kapowski asked.
"Nitrome Boss decided to give me a holiday after all! I don't know what made him change his mind, but it must've been the strike! Thanks so much for helping me!" he said. He then put on a sunhat and a pair of sunglasses. "Now I'm off to Hawaii! Bye!" He took off.
"I guess we made an impact after all." Kapowski said.
"Yeah, sure you did." Licorice said.
"What do you mean, Licorice?" Rex209 asked.
"I may have pulled a few strings to get him a holiday."
"How did you do that? Why would you do that? You said you had no interest in helping him." Kapowski said.
"I was tired of you guys calling me selfish. So I went and talked to Nitrome Boss. At first he just kept saying no, but then I reminded him that my daddy happens to be one of the richest men around, and that he could make a hefty donation to the school in exchange for Mail Bird's day off."
"Whoa! You really did that?"
"Yep. Now all I have to do is explain to my dad why there's a big check made out to the school from his company." Licorice said.
"Well, that was really cool, Licorice. I'm sorry I called you selfish." Snow said.
"Wait, isn't it volcano season in Hawaii?" Swindler said.
The group went totally silent.
"We've got to call Mail Bird." Blue finally said.
~Thanks to Port1967 for suggesting this episode!
Episode Five-Opposites Attract
"All I'm saying is, if I were a dog, I'd be smart enough not to chase my own tail." Kapowski said.
"How could you not? It's like a fuzzy little pom-pom connected to your body!" Swindler replied.
Kapowski sighed. The gang of friends were waiting by their lockers, as usual. Suddenly, they heard giggling.
"No, you're the cutest!" Yin said.
"No, YOU'RE the cutest!" Yang replied.
"No, you--" Yin began.
"We get it, you're both cute, you're in love, Yin is Yang's boyfriend and Yang is Yin's girlfriend. Am I missing anything?" Blue said.
"Sorry, we didn't mean to make anyone upset. I'll see you tonight at the Karaoke Bar, my little Yang-el!" Yin said to her as they hugged.
"And I'll see you in my dreams tonight, my little...Yin...I'll think of something later. Bye guys!" Yang said as she hurried off to class.
"It must feel good to be in a relationship." Kapowski said.
"Dude, you like Snow, just ask her out already!" Swindler said.
"Snow? No, I just like her as a...friend..." Kapowski said.
"Why did you say that so dreamily then?" Swindler asked.
"I don't know what you mean."
"So, Yin, you and Yang are meeting at the Karaoke Bar tonight?" Snow asked, oblivious to Kapowski and Swindler's conversation.
"Yes, and it is going to be magical! I wrote her a song, and I am going to sing it to her tonight." Yin said.
"Awwwwwwww!" Snow and Licorice squealed.
"That's so romantic! Why can't you be more romantic, Swindy?" Licorice asked.
"What do you mean? I brought you flowers on Valentine's Day!" Swindler replied defensively.
"Well, I'd better be on my way. I don't want to be late for class." Yin said.
Yin left to go to class just as the bell rung.
"Hey, why don't we all go to the Karaoke Bar too? We haven't been there in a while." Kapowski suggested.
"Sounds like fun!" Snow said.
"Yeah!" Licorice agreed.
"All right, let's do it!" Swindler said, pumped.
"I will be there." Rex209 confirmed.
"I guess..." Blue quipped.
The friends departed, looking forward to that night.
"I'll have a spicy tuna roll platter and some lemonade." Licorice said, ordering her food. The group of friends had met at the Karaoke Bar, as planned.
"Hey, Yin and Yang are over there! Should we go say hi?" Swindler asked.
"No, let's not interrupt their special night." Snow replied.
"Wait...it looks like Yang is crying...and now she's running away!" Swindler said.
"Oh no...I hope nothing bad happened..."
"Something very bad has happened!" Yin cried. The group of friends were in front of their lockers again. Nobody was happy, especially not Yin.
"What is the problem?" Kapowski asked.
"Yang's parents found out that we were dating...her parents hate my parents, and so...they have forbidden her from seeing me ever again! She just managed to come last night to tell me..." Yin explained.
"That's horrible!" Licorice said.
"And deja'vuish. Where have I seen this before? Some story, by some guy that shook sodas for a living. Bill Shakesoda?" Swindler said.
"It doesn't matter. Yang and I will never see each other again." Yin said, crying.
"Don't worry, Yin, we'll help you out!" Snow said.
- sniff* "You will?"
"Of course! Let's start with your parents. Why do you and Yang's parents hate each other?"
"It is a sad tale, of a man living in a rice field, long, long ago..." Yin said, looking off into space.
"What is he doing?" Blue asked.
"My sensors indicate that he is flashing back." Rex209 supplied. "Cliché experiences dictate that if we all look at the same spot he is looking at, we will also see the flashback."
They all looked off into space as well.
"As I was saying, this man lived on a rice farm. He was very successful and produced lots of rice for the townspeople to share. His wife, however, was greedy, and at night, when everyone was sleeping, she snuck into the town's rice stores and stole all of the rice, hiding it in the cellar of a neighbor's house. When everyone woke up for breakfast, there was no food. After much investigation, the townspeople found the rice in the neighbor's cellar and blamed him for stealing it all. His wife, however, had seen the rice farmer's wife the night before, and told the people that she had stolen the rice. The two families began to argue. Those two families were me and Yang's families. And that is why they hate each other." Yin explained.
"But that was, what, a hundred years ago? They still haven't let it go?" Licorice asked.
"No. Me and Yang were able to put aside our differences for each other, but now the feud has come between us." Yin said.
"Don't worry, Yin, I have a plan that might just work." Kapowski said.
The next day, the gang were eating lunch in the cafeteria.
"Yin! You'll never believe this, but my father changed his mind! We can be together after all!" Yang said joyfully, hugging Yin.
"That's wonderful Yang!" Yin said.
"I'm going to go tell my friends. I'll see you later, my...um...wow, pet names are hard to come by." Yang said as she walked away.
"I don't get it. What did you say to Yang's dad that made him change his mind?" Blue asked.
"Well, let's just say that Kapowski and I will be working in her father's rice field every weekend for the next couple of years." Yin said.
"Huh, well as long as you've got your girl back."
"You know, the story I read didn't end anything like this. At least this one had a happy ending." Swindler said.
"Yeah. Well, I've got to go. I have research to do on rice farming." Kapowski said.
~Thanks to FrostyFlyTrap's drawing that inspired me to write this story!
Episode Six-Don't Get a Big Head!
"Guys, did you hear?" Snow asked, excited. The group of friends were hanging out in the school courtyard.
"Yeah, the lunch lady that makes the nachos with hair in them is getting fired. Woohoo!" Blue said.
"Not that! Norman Noggin, a contestant on Nitrome Idol, is going to be attending our school!"
"Oh my gosh! Really?" Licorice shrieked.
Snow nodded. The girls screamed with excitement.
"Agh, I think that loosened a filling." Swindler said.
"I think they might have cracked Rex's glass." Blue said.
"He is going to be making a grand entrance at lunchtime today! I can't wait! I'm going to ask him to sign my posters of him that I have!" Snow said.
Kapowski sighed. "Great. Snow loves that guy, how can I compete with that?"
"Well, he has a pretty big head. From what I've read in the Nitrome Gossip column, girls are into guys with regularly sized heads these days." Swindler said.
"No. I was just trying to cheer you up. Did it work?"
"For one moment, yes."
At lunchtime, all of the fan-girls were giggling and squealing with anticipation. Suddenly, the cafeteria doors burst open and a long red carpet rolled out from it. A smoke screen and laser show flashed on as Norman Noggin, with his massive cranium, walked into the room. The fan-girls screamed. The fan-boys cheered. Everyone else clutched their ears in pain.
A retinue of secretaries, assistants, and bodyguards hustled in after Norman. Norman took his seat on the stage at a small table by himself. An assistant clapped her hands and an army of officious waiters flanked the lunch table, offering Norman a multitude of lunch options. After much deliberation, he selected a large plate. He snapped his fingers and the waiters retreated.
All eyes were on Norman, waiting for him to take his first bite.
"Norman, sign my T-shirt!" one eager fan-girl cried. Once she said that, the rest of the cafeteria exploded with requests, asking Norman to sign posters, T-shirts, pens, and anything else that a pen could be put to.
The bodyguards formed a wall in front of Norman's table, crossing their arms and glaring at anyone who dared get too close.
"Wow, this whole place is insane!" Swindler said. "Don't you think, Snow? Snow? Guys, where is Snow?"
"There she is! She snuck past the guards! She's talking to Norman!" Kapowski said.
"What's happening? She looks shocked. And now the guards are taking her away from him!" Licorice said.
The guards plopped Snow down on the floor at their feet.
"Snow, are you okay? What happened?" Swindler asked.
"I...I asked him to sign my posters, and he...he told me to get lost. He said I was a worthless loser that wasn't worth his time. Then he snapped his fingers and had his goons drag me away." Snow replied, tears welling up in her eyes.
"What a jerk!" Kapowski yelled.
Unfortunately for Kapowski, the whole cafeteria had gone silent at that moment, and everyone had heard him.
"I'm sorry, were you addressing that towards me? How dare you! You're not famous! You're not talented, or rich, or handsome! I am all of those things, but I am certainly not a jerk, that's what you are, you peasant!" Norman shouted from his seat.
Kapowski opened his mouth.
"Kapowski, don't. It isn't worth it." Swindler said.
"No. He has insulted my lady, my honor, and a third thing that I'll think of later!" Kapowski said.
"Lady?" Snow said.
"Norman, you may be famous, but fame and fortune has turned you into an arrogant jerk that has no respect for others! And now, I challenge thee to a duel!"
"A duel? What kind of duel? Like basketball? Oh, wait, you ain't tall. Singing? Please, your voice cracks every other word. A fist fight?" Norman asked.
"Not a fist fight. That's too cliché. Besides, we already did that in episode three."
"How many times have we told you not to break the fourth wall?" Rex209 asked.
"Then what will be the challenge? Name it, and I'll beat you at it. I'm the very best there is." Norman said.
"I challenge you to a battle of brains. Your head may be big, but let’s see how big that brain of yours is." Kapowski said.
Beads of sweat formed on Norman's colossal cranium. "You're on...man."
"This duel will be 20 questions long, the one with the most questions correctly answered by the end of the duel, wins!" Professor announced.
The cafeteria had been transformed into an Academic Duel arena.
"Question One--the naming system used for all species of the world, created by Carolus Linneas, was called...what?"
Kapowski hit his buzzer.
"Binomial nomenclature." Kapowski answered.
"Correct! Question Two--what famous singer won three Golden Cuboy awards, starred in Night of the Living Oodlegobs, and has a recording contract with MewTube Records?" Professor asked.
This time, Norman hit the buzzer. "Grammar Cat!"
Kapowski and Norman stared each other down.
"It's on!" they said together.
Eighteen questions later, Professor made an announcement.
"It seems we have a tie. Which means it is time to go to the tiebreaker question, of which the topic is...Cuboy Academy history!"
"What? That ain't fair yo! I've only been here one day! Ask a different one!" Norman complained.
"Sorry, I can't. I just read what the boys bring to me." Professor said.
Blue and Swindler laughed.
"We're the boys." Blue whispered.
"Thirty years ago, at Cuboy Academy's first home game against BetterthanCuboy Academy, what happened to the football team and what caused it?" Professor asked.
Kapowski hit the buzzer. "They fell from their benches and it was because Arthur Carter loosened the screws on the benches!"
"Correct! Kapowski wins!" Professor said.
The whole crowd charged forward and lifted Kapowski into the air in victory.
"Whatever, yo! I'm too good for y'all. I'm going to BetterthanCuboy Academy! I deserve better anyway! Hmph!" Norman said, strolling out with his queue of servants close behind.
"Kapowski! Kapowski! Kapowski!" the crowd cheered. Kapowski smiled, glad that he had defended Snow and won.
"Victoryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Blue shouted.
~Thanks to AustinCarter4ever for her suggestion! Also, Grammar Cat got a special mention!
Episode Seven-I Second That Emotion!
"Professor's lecture was very interesting today!" Kapowski said as the five of them walked out of science class.
"I know! I feel like I understand so much now!" Blue replied.
"Hey, do you guys hear crying?" Swindler asked. They walked around the corner.
"It's coming from the bathrooms over there!" Snow said.
"Let's go check it out." Swindler said. Snow grabbed him and pulled him back.
"That's the girl's bathroom Swindler. I think Lick and I will take this one."
Swindler sighed. "Okay."
Licorice and Snow went into the bathroom.
"It's coming from this stall." Licorice said.
Snow knocked on the stall. "Is anybody in there?" she asked.
There was a sudden gasp. "Um, no..." a quiet voice replied.
"Are you okay?" Licorice asked.
"Um...no." the voice replied. The crying began again.
Snow opened the stall.
A girl wearing a white cloak sat in the stall. She had a white square head with triangular ears. She also wore a red scarf.
"What's your name?" Licorice asked.
The girl sniffed. "I'm Ditto. I'm new here."
"What's wrong?" Snow asked.
"My dad got a new job so we had to move here. I'm really shy and I miss my friend." Ditto answered.
"Aw, well, we'll be your friends." Licorice said.
"You will? Wow, back home nobody ever wanted to be my friend because--"
"Yeah, we'll totally be your friends, and, there are three guys outside that I'm sure will be your friends too!" Snow said.
"Well, that's great, but I think I should tell you that I--"
"C'mon Ditto, let's go. It's lunchtime, so you can sit at our table." Licorice said.
"Oh...okay." Ditto said. She got up and came out of the stall. "I'll catch up with you."
"Okay, see you out there."
Ditto went over to the mirror. A completely black figure looked back at her in the mirror.
"You'd better not mess this up for us. We've only ever had one friend and you always had to scare them away."
The reflection didn't respond, it only copied her movements as she did.
"And will you stop that! It's really getting old, the whole copying thing. You're still doing it! You're still...augh, let's just go to lunch."
With that, Ditto left the bathroom.
"Hey, there you are Ditto! Guys, this is our new friend, Ditto." Snow said, introducing the guys to Ditto. They all sat at their lunch table.
"Hi." Ditto said. She sat down and took out her lunch box.
"So, Ditto, where are you from?" Kapowski asked.
"Oh, far away. My brother and I are still adjusting to the move."
"Oh, you have a brother? Does he go here?" Licorice asked. Licorice was looking into her makeup mirror.
"Yeah, he's right there." Ditto said, pointing to Licorice's mirror.
"This is my makeup mirror." Licorice replied.
"You guys picked up another crazy one. Did we learn nothing from hanging out with Calamari?" Blue asked.
"Oh my gosh! There is someone in the mirror! It looks like Ditto, except it is totally dark. I can only see it when I point the mirror at Ditto though." Licorice said.
The dark reflection of Ditto hopped through the mirror and onto a chair.
"Hey there, losers!" he said.
"We aren't losers!" Swindler said. "Well, Kapowski maybe..."
"Hey!" Kapowski yelled.
"Um, Ditto, who is this?" Snow asked.
"This is my brother, Shadow." Ditto said.
"Yeah, that's right. I'm Shadow. And I'm here to leech out all of your personalities." Shadow said.
"Have you heard Kapowski ramble on about quantum physics? He has no personality!" Blue said.
"Guys!" Kapowski protested.
"Run! He's going to hurt you all!" Ditto shouted.
"Hurt? Nah, getting your personality drained doesn't hurt. Much!" Shadow said. He turned and inhaled sharply as Mail Bird walked by.
"Hey guys, I've got some messages for--" Mail Bird began. Suddenly, a black orb flew out of Mail Bird and into Shadow. Shadow grew an inch taller. Mail Bird turned completely black and white.
"Mail Bird, are you okay?" Kapowski asked.
"Eh, I guess so." Mail Bird replied in a boring voice. Shadow smiled evilly.
"Yeah, I was trying to tell you guys that I have an evil soul-sucking reflection spirit for a brother earlier, but you wouldn't listen, so...you may want to run." Ditto said.
Shadow jumped off his chair and came towards them.
"Run!" Blue shouted. The five friends leapt from their seats and began dashing away, Shadow following behind.
Ditto sighed. "And mom and dad wonder why I have no friends."
Kapowski and Snow were running through a hallway.
"We shouldn't have split up!" Snow yelled. Shadow was hot on their tail.
"Oh no, it's a dead end!" Kapowski said as they backed into a corner. Shadow smiled diabolically.
"Say bye-bye to your personality!" Shadow yelled. He inhaled sharply.
"No!" Kapowski yelled, jumping in front of Snow. A black orb flew from Kapowski into Shadow. Shadow sprouted up another foot.
"Kapowski, that was so brave!" Snow said.
"Uh huh. Sure..." Kapowski said blandly. Snow looked around wildly.
"The ceiling panels!" she shouted. She jumped up and climbed through the ceiling panel. Shadow snarled and left.
"Is he still there?" Swindler asked. He and Blue had hidden in a janitor's closet.
"My sensors indicate that the proximity is clear." Rex209 said.
"Wait, Rex! That's it! You're an emotionless robot with no personality! You're our secret weapon!" Blue said.
"If I could feel emotion I would be feeling hurt by that comment right now. But nonetheless, you are correct."
They heard a scream.
"That was Licorice!" Swindler said. "Don't worry my little Licorice Lick, I'm coming!" he said, throwing the door open.
"Swindler, stop! Shadow can mimic anyone's movements and anyone's voice! It's not Licorice!" Blue yelled.
"Yeah, whatever..." Swindler's voice came from around the corner.
"Oh boy, he got Swindler too!" Blue said.
"I have developed personality extracting software that can retrieve everyone's personality from Shadow and back to their original bodies. But I need to get a clear shot into Shadow's mouth for it to work." Rex209 said.
"Okay, sounds good. We just need some bait." Blue said.
"My thoughts exactly. And I have the perfect bait right here." Rex209 said.
"Who? The only ones here are...it's me, isn't it?"
Blue sighed. "Fine, I'll do it. For personalities!"
Blue got out and went around the corner, with Rex following closely behind.
"Oh look at me! So full of personality! Why, I'd bet my personality would add up to a whole feast! I hope Shadow does not drain it from me!" Blue said. They suddenly felt the ground shaking.
"Remember how sucking personalities makes him grow?" Rex asked.
"Yes!" Blue replied, suddenly scared.
"I think my shot may have a bigger target then I thought." Rex said.
Shadow came around the corner, ten feet tall. He grinned. He started to inhale.
"Now Rex!" Blue shouted." Rex stepped into the hallway with her proton cannon fully charged.
"Say hello to my little friend." Rex209 said. The cannon blasted a large blue laser that went right into Shadow's mouth. Shadow began coughing. Black orbs flew out of his mouth and began to fly back to their bodies.
Shadow shrunk until he was only a foot tall.
"Huh, I always wanted a little brother. Anyways, Shadow and I have to go. Turns out my dad got a special offer from his old job back home so we're moving back! Bye!" She said, carrying Shadow out with her.
"I'm glad that's over." Blue said.
"Yeah, me too." Kapowski said. But it wasn't Kapowski's voice. Swindler, Mail Bird, and Kapowski looked at each other.
"Is your voice coming out of my body?" Kapowski asked Swindler.
"Oh no...Rex, you can fix this, right?" Mail Bird asked.
Rex didn't answer for a while. "Uh..." She then lowered to the ground.
SLEEP MODE ACTIVATED.
Episode Eight-Teenage Crisis
"Monty, it's Austin again. Why is he always up to no good?" Snow said into her mouthpiece. She was currently out behind Cuboy Academy, hiding behind a collection of dumpsters. Austin Carter was sitting at a picnic table, ripping open a package he had received.
"Ha-ha! It finally arrived! These cooked orange enzyme pies are bound to ruin Cuboy Academy's special lunch buffet! Justin! Justin! Oh, where'd he run off to?" Austin said.
Justin poked his head out of one of the dumpsters. "Hey Austin, I found some tickets to see Grammar Cat in concert in here. Score! I can't believe someone would throw these out."
"Justin! Will you concentrate please! This is very important and...did you say Grammar Cat?" Austin said.
"Front row tickets!"
"Nice find, man! Let's pocket these for sure. Anyways, as I was saying, Cuboy Academy is having their annual lunch buffet day. Do you know why they have an annual lunch buffet day?"
"Because Nitrome Boss is a creepy hoarder that loves to stuff his face?"
"Well, yes, he is, but it is actually because the superintendent visits the school every year on this day to check in on how things are being run. The superintendent loves tacos, so Nitrome Boss butters him up with a special buffet before they begin their meeting. And what better way to embarrass Cuboy Academy then to have cooked orange enzyme pies ravaging the lunch trays of every student--and superintendent--in the whole school!?"
"Snow, did I hear orange enzyme pies? You must stop Austin! Orange enzyme pies are very dangerous. They cannot maintain homeostasis in any condition, meaning they are very unstable and can harm people, or, possibly, eat people whole. Have you noticed a pattern in Austin's pranks, or is it just me?" Monty said through Snow's earpiece.
"Don't worry, Monty, I'm on it." Snow replied. She stepped out from her hiding spot.
"Hey, it's that girl that always stops your plans!" Justin shouted.
"This time I've come prepared. I have backup." Austin said.
"Great! Where is it?"
"You're my backup. Now go get her, Justin!"
"Oh man, I hate being backup!" Justin said as he ran at Snow.
Snow sidestepped his attack and stuck her leg out, tripping him and making him face plant in the grass. She then picked him up and hurled him into a dumpster.
"Ah man, it smells like rotten eggs and electric eels in here!" he yelled.
"Darn it Justin, you said you've been taking tae kwon do!" Austin complained.
"I've only been to one class and--oh no, something's got my foot! SOMETHING'S GOT MY FOOT! SNAKE! SNAKE! AHHHHH!"
"Surrender the orange enzyme pies and I'll let you go without working cafeteria duty for the next five hours." Snow said.
"You want the pies? Here, have one!" Austin shouted, hurling an orange pie at Snow. The pie was a restless, misshapen, orange, blob that had a large set of gooey fangs on the front. Snow ducked. The pie flew into the dumpster.
"Ahh! SNAKE! PIE! SNAKE! PIE!" Justin screamed.
Snow advanced on Austin and tackled him to the ground.
"You could've avoided cafeteria duty. I'm disappointed." Snow said. Austin sighed.
In the cafeteria, Austin wore a paper hat with a smiling pink Cuboy on it. He frowned as he slopped taco meat into the taco shells on the tray of every student that came by.
"Man, I love tacos!" Kapowski said as the group went to their table.
"Extra taco meat and sour cream on the double! Same for the superintendent, and make it snappy!!!!!111" Nitrome Boss yelled from the lunch line.
"It sure was nice of Austin to help out with the buffet. Is he part of a community service project or something?" Swindler asked.
"I guess you could say that..." Snow replied.
They took their seats at their table.
"Hey guys." a voice said. They looked across the table to see a teenage boy in a purple T-shirt and jeans sitting in a chair, munching a taco. He had wavy brown hair and dotty black eyes.
"Uh...hi. Who are you?" Licorice asked.
"I'm Teeno, I've sat at this table since, like, forever." he replied.
"Oh, well, sorry, I can't say we've seen you before."
"Yeah, I sort of fade into the background. I have some...anger issues, so I try not to talk much."
"Oh, okay. Nice to meet you. I'm Swind-" Swindler began.
"I know who you guys are! I've sat here for, like, forever, remember? I've seen all the crazy stuff you guys do. I don't have any actual friends, so I sometimes have pretend conversations with you guys in my head."
"Well, you could be our real friends if you want." Snow said.
"Do you not remember the whole thing with Ditto and Shadow? It was literally one episode ago." Kapowski said.
"Watch it. The fourth wall is more fragile than you think." Rex209 said.
"All I'm saying is, we should get to know him before we let him join the group."
"It's okay, I know all about you guys. You don't have to get to know me. I'll just fade into the background as usual." Teeno said.
"What do you mean you know all about us?" Blue asked.
"Well, for instance. Kapowski, you have a secret crush on Snow but you're too afraid to say anything about it. Swindler, you secretly eat ice cream in the locker room."
"You said you didn't like to eat ice cream!" Licorice shouted.
"That's not true! I...eat it in the bathroom." Swindler said defensively.
"Oh yeah, that's right. And Snow, you're a member of a sec--" Teeno began. Snow acted on impulse, knowing he was about to jeopardize her secret life as an agent. She threw her tray of tacos at Teeno, covering him head to toe.
"Oops, muscle spasm. Let me take you to get that cleaned off." she said. At the nurse's office, Teeno now wore a new purple T-shirt.
"Look, man, the whole secret agent thing is kind of hushitty-hush. No talking about it, okay?"
"Okay, all you had to do was say something." Teeno replied. They returned to their lunch table.
"You know what's funny? Snow is totally oblivious to the fact that you like her. It's like sometimes we'll say it out loud in open conversation and she somehow doesn't hear it." Swindler said.
"That is not true! She totally heard Teeno say that. Right Snow?" Kapowski asked.
"Hm? Sorry, I didn't hear that. I can't believe Swindler eats ice cream behind Licorice's back though." Snow said.
"It tastes so good! I can't help it!" Swindler yelled.
Later that day, the group were hanging out in the hallway by their lockers.
"Teeno is so nosy, I can't take it anymore! He told my whole English class my secret about how I listen to boy bands." Blue said.
"Yeah, and now my entire gym class knows about my ballet years." Swindler agreed.
"We've got to get rid of him, but how?" Licorice asked.
"I think I might know a guy. Lemme make a few calls." Blue said.
"No, Blue! No! We have to figure this out...wait, I've got it!" Snow said.
The group were out behind Cuboy Academy, by the dumpsters.
"Justin, Justin are you still in there?" Snow said, knocking on the side of the dumpster.
Justin poked his head out. He took a bite out of an apple. "Hi there. I managed to tie that snake into a knot, but that pie is still in here somewhere...I'm a little scared by it."
"Yeah, that's great. Can we have your Grammar Cat concert tickets?"
"If you can get me out of this dumpster, yes. The wall is a bit too high for me to climb out." he replied.
Swindler and Kapowski hauled him out.
"Thanks. Here you go." he said.
"Thanks!" the group said as they ran off.
Banging came from the dumpster. Justin looked over the edge. An orange blob grabbed his head and reeled him in.
"Teeno!" Blue called.
"Oh, hey guys. What's up?" Teeno asked.
"You like Grammar Cat, right?"
"We have a ticket to go see Grammar Cat in concert. We'll give it to you if you stop talking to us and about us for...like, forever." Licorice said.
"Done!" Teeno said, swiping the ticket and running off.
"Well, that was easier than I thought." Kapowski said.
"Yeah, it was. Well, I guess everything ended well for everyone." Snow said.
Justin arrived, dirty and covered in orange goo.
"Hey Justin, what happened?"
"That pie really put up a fight..." Justin said. He yanked on his left arm and a loud pop was heard. He sighed. "...but I managed to escape. Well, I'll see you guys later." With that, he turned around and stumbled away.
"Should we tell him that the enzyme pie is biting the back of his head?" Blue asked.
"Nah, he'll figure it out." Licorice replied.
Episode Nine-All The Rage!
"Wow, this comic book is great! I absolutely love the stories!" Kapowski said. The group were lounging by their lockers before first bell.
"What's it called?" Swindler asked.
"NMDFanFictionMon. It's by AustinCarter4ever, a fan-fiction writer. She actually managed to get some of her stuff published recently and I absolutely love it!"
"Sounds like she's an Austin fan."
"Yeah, well, her online alias was still used on the books. In fact, I hear she's doing a book signing at the comic book store today at three!"
"Sounds geeky to me."
"No way, man, everyone is reading it."
"Yeah, right. What do you think Licorice? Licorice?"
"Huh? What?" Licorice asked, looking up from her comic book.
"You read it too?"
"Yeah, it's great! It's all the rage these days. You should get with the crowd Swindler, read a copy."
"I'll read a book when Kapowski asks Snow out. Which will be never."
"Hey!" Kapowski shouted.
"C'mon Snow, tell them! Is this comic really as good as they say?"
"Yeah man." Snow replied, too deep in her comic book to say much more.
"I have downloaded every published comic of NMDFanFictionMon to my database. Would you like to hear some?" Rex209 asked.
"No, no, no! You guys will see soon enough. That stuff is for geeks." Swindler said.
"Why don't you come down to the comic book store with me after school today? Maybe meeting the author will change your mind." Kapowski said.
"Fine, whatever. But only because I have nothing else to do."
"You'll see, Swindler. It's a great series."
Swindler rolled his eyes as the bell rung, signaling that they all had to go to class.
"C'mon Swindler, hurry up! I want to get a good spot in line!" Kapowski shouted. He and Swindler were walking to the comic book store.
"Please, there probably won't even be a line. The only ones who read it are probably you, Rex, Blue, Licorice, and Snow." Swindler said.
As they approached the comic book store, they saw that there was a very long line, stretching around the comic book store twice.
"Aw, man! We're late! I told you to hurry up!" Kapowski said. They got in line.
"Hey, is that...Austin in front of us?" Swindler asked.
Kapowski tapped Austin on the shoulder. Austin turned. "What?! You guys? What are you doing here? Well, actually, I understand the geek being here, but, the Swift Swindler? I am shocked." Austin said.
"We're just as shocked as you are. You read?" Kapowski asked. "By the way, I'm not a geek."
"Yes, you are. And are you kidding? How could I not read a book by someone named AustinCarter4ever? Once I get in there, I'm hoping to score her digits."
"Oh, okay. Well, while we wait, why don't we talk about the latest release?"
"Well, usually I wouldn't even consider talking to you Cuboy Academy failures, but that does sound nice."
Swindler groaned and sighed as the two fan-boys jabbered on about the comic and the mile-long line slowly shrunk.
"Yes! We're finally inside!" Kapowski cheered. Swindler, who had fallen asleep standing up, snorted and woke up, rubbing dried drool from his face in quite an ungentlemanly fashion.
"I got them! I got her number! She even agreed to go to the Karaoke Bar with me tomorrow night! Isn't that great?" Austin said after speaking with AustinCarter4ever.
"Yeah, Austin! I'm happy for you. Well Swindler, looks like we're next." Kapowski said.
Swindler groaned. "Let's just get this over with."
"Hey, be cool man. Don't ruin this."
They walked into the back room of the comic book store, where AustinCarter4ever sat at a desk with several pens and copies of her books stacked on it.
"Hey guys, thanks for reading!" she said. Kapowski put his book on her desk. She signed it most flamboyantly.
"Thank you for writing them! I absolutely love your books." Kapowski said.
"Are you both big fans?"
"Well, I am anyway. Swindler needs some convincing."
"Well in that case, take a free signed copy, Swindler. I know you'll be hooked."
"Yeah, thanks but...I don't do much reading, and I have basketball practice, so..." Swindler said in protest.
"Basketball season doesn't start for another two weeks Swindler. You'll have plenty of time to read it." Kapowski said.
"Anything else I can get for you?" AustinCarter4ever asked.
"That will be all. Thanks for the free copy!" Kapowski said, ushering Swindler out.
"Did you really have to do that?" Kapowski asked once they were outside.
"Do what?" Swindler asked.
"Act that way. She was doing something nice for you, you could've shown at least a little appreciation."
"Dude, I'm just not into reading, okay?"
"Yeah, I know, but writing is everywhere. You can't avoid reading forever."
"Watch me." Swindler said, stomping away. Kapowski dashed after him, slipping the comic book into Swindler's backpack.
Swindler got home and plopped his backpack on his bed. He unzipped it to fish his homework out when the bag toppled over, spilling its contents onto the floor.
"Aw, dang it!" Swindler shouted. He crouched and began picking things up. At the bottom of the pile was a copy of NMDFanFictionMon. Swindler groaned.
"Why does this keep popping up everywhere?!" he yelled. The comic book had landed with its pages open, so when Swindler picked it up, its inner contents were exposed.
"Oh...my...gosh..." Swindler said as he looked at the pages.
"Yeah, and she gave him a free signed copy and he acts like a total jerk about it. Can you believe that?" Kapowski asked. The group, Swindler excluded, was at their lockers.
"Guys, guys!" Swindler said, running up. He clutched the comic book in his hands.
"Oh, hey Swindler. You're not...reading that book, are you?" Kapowski asked.
"I'm not reading it right now, because I finished the whole thing!" Swindler replied.
"Really?!" the group of friends said, astonished. Swindler nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me this book had pictures in it?!"
~AC4E got a special appearance, and so did her comic series, NMDFanfictionMon! Be sure to check it out!
Episode Ten-Going Green
"All right class, in today's lab we will be creating green enzymes out of the chemical compounds found in orange and blue enzymes. Get in your lab group and begin working. If you need me I'll be at my desk, playing the new level pack in Icebreaker." Professor said as he sat down at his desk.
Blue, Kapowski, and Licorice were in the same lab group, so they gathered at a small table with an ensemble of tools and chemicals bubbling in test tubes. On two petri dishes were an orange enzyme sample and a blue enzyme sample.
"Wait, where is Rex again?" Kapowski asked.
"She's in the shop getting some maintenance done. Thanks for giving me the voice translator headband again." Blue said.
"This feels wrong. Like I'm taking one of my little brothers, mixing it with one of my cousins, and creating a hated nemesis." Blue said as Kapowski placed the two enzyme samples in a beaker.
"You don't have to watch if you don't want to." Kapowski said in reply.
"Thanks, but I like just being straight up front with my emotions, so I'll be fine."
"Oh, and class, remember that the amounts of each enzyme you mix in must be equal. Too much orange will make it too strong, too much blue will make it too intelligent." Professor called from his desk. "Oh, fashion conscious crustaceans, how I love your general appearance!" he said as he went back to his game.
"Well, then it's a good thing I--Blue!? What are you doing?" Kapowski shouted as Blue dumped the whole dish of blue enzymes into the beaker.
"I'm paying respects to the fact that blue enzymes are dominant over that of the orange by putting in more blue." Blue replied.
"But Professor just said to make sure we put in equal amounts of both enzymes! And now it's a mixture, so we can't remove it! Licorice, tell him!"
Licorice looked up from her phone, which she had been texting on vigorously.
"Yeah, uh, Kapowski's right, I guess. What are we talking about?" she asked.
Kapowski moaned. The form in the beaker had turned green and was beginning to bubble. Kapowski slammed a lid on top of it.
"It's okay, if we put it in a stabilizing chamber it will stop all chemical activity and the enzyme won't be able to spread or grow." Kapowski said as he dumped the mixture into a glass tube. He pressed a button on the tube and the mixture stopped bubbling as if it were frozen in time.
"Fire! Fire!" Swindler yelled from his station. Snow, Yin, and he were in another lab group, and things had gone horribly wrong. Professor yanked the fire alarm and down and the class quickly evacuated.
The stabilizing chamber began to short out as the sprinkler system on the ceiling showered the whole room. The fire died away, and so did the electricity powering the stabilizing chamber.
The mixture began to bubble, growing and expanding.
The group of friends were hanging out in the library, the fire department having granted permission for everyone to go back inside.
"That was really dumb what you did today." Kapowski said.
"I'm sorry! I didn't know gasoline was flammable!" Swindler yelled in defense.
"Not you, Blue! And yeah, it's flammable."
"Well, I know that now!"
"You shouldn't have unbalanced the formula. You're lucky we had the stabilizing chamber there."
"I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again." Blue replied. "Are you staying after school today for book club? We're reading Magic for Dummies this week!"
"You know I am! How about you Snow?" Kapowski asked.
"Sorry, I can't. I have to go to a formal dinner with my dad. It's gonna be a bore, but at least there will be food." Snow replied.
"Sounds fun to me."
The bell rang, signaling dismissal.
"Snow, Swindler, and Licorice rose from their seats and left the library.
After a few minutes of waiting, the rest of the book club filed in and took seats at the table, carrying copies of Magic for Dummies with them.
"Hey Zapo! What's up Canary? How you doing--Hallbert? What are you doing here?" Blue asked.
Hallbert, the school bully, looked down sheepishly. "I have a secret passion for reading. I just love it so much! And if you tell anyone I'll pound you into the ground!"
"Your secret is safe with us!" Kapowski shouted quickly.
"All right, let's get started." Zapo said in his monotone robot voice.
An hour later, the band of bibliophiles broke apart as their weekly meeting drew to a close.
Kapowski and Blue walked out of the library together.
"Wow, who knew magic was so simple?" Blue asked.
Kapowski nodded. "Oh no! I forgot my textbook in science class."
"Let's go get it." Blue said. They walked to science class. A sign on the door read 'Quarantine.'
"Quarantined? I didn't think the fire was that serious. Maybe we should..."
"Blue! Do you never listen?!"
"I'm sorry, did you say something? Just kidding. Let's get your book and jet. Then maybe we can find this Quarantine and get her number, she sounds hot."
"Quarantine isn't a person Blue, it means, oh who am I kidding, you're not listening anyway."
They walked into the room and flipped the lights on. Professor was in the corner, tied up with green, slimy ropes.
"Professor?" Kapowski asked.
They looked over at the table they had worked at earlier. Dozens of green enzymes the size of basketballs swarmed the area. They turned simultaneously to look at the newcomers.
All their eyes fixed onto Blue, who was vulnerable without the metal armor of Rex encompassing him.
"Run!" Professor shouted.
All of the green blobs moved as one. In unison, they snapped their arms forward and pointed their fingers at Blue.
"GET HIM!" they all yelled.
"Blue, run!" Kapowski shouted.
The duo fled from the classroom as the green ocean of enzymes surged forward after them.
They ran down the hallway, yelling for help.
"Did you hear that?" Zapo asked in his robotic voice to the other two book-lovers.
"Yeah, it sounds like that blue ball and the nerd-geek!" Hallbert replied.
"We'd better go help them!" Canary said, taking off down the hall in the direction of the sound.
Kapowski and Blue pounded past them, breathing heavily.
"Green...enzymes...run!" Kapowski panted.
The three turned to see the wave of green bouncing towards them.
Hallbert punched several of them down as they got close, but soon they began to overtake him.
Canary blasted them with his cutting laser.
"Zapo, put them down the trash chute!" Canary yelled.
Zapo nodded his understanding and used his Fault Line powers to open a portal in the ground, through which many of the green enzymes fell into.
"There's still too many of them!" Hallbert yelled.
"There are never too many green enzymes for me." a robotic voice said. They all whipped around to see Rex209 standing there with as much confidence as a robot could express.
"There are hundreds of these things, how can you stop them?" Canary asked.
"While undergoing maintenance I asked for a few new toys." Rex209 responded. A side panel on the mech-suit slid open and a large cannon unfolded, aimed at the green army.
"Get behind me."
The three of them took cover behind Rex.
"What exactly is that thing?" Canary asked.
"I instructed the mechanics to create and install a highly advanced Audio Weapons System." Rex said as the cannon blasted a sonic boom from its barrel. The sonic waves ripped through the green enzymes until they were eradicated from existence.
"That was amazing! How did you know that would work?" Zapo asked.
"Everyone knows that the high amounts of mechanical energy found in sound waves disassemble the chemical bonds that make up enzymes."
"Rex! Boy, am I glad to see you. Green enzymes are--" Blue began.
"Gone. I destroyed them all."
"Oh. You did?"
"Yes. I did."
"Well, Blue, I hope you learned a valuable lesson from all of this." Kapowski said.
"Not really. I already knew that green enzymes were jerks, so this is really just a review of what I already know."
"No, the lesson was that you should be a better listener."
"What was that?"
The group laughed.
"Oh Blue, you're hopeless." Canary said as the group walked out the doors together.
Back in the science lab, the Professor was just finishing cleaning up the classroom.
"What a day." he said as he flicked the lights off.
Unfortunately for the professor, he didn't realize that he'd forgotten to scrub the counter where Blue's lab group had been working.
Nor did he see the remnants of green blobs, slithering along the floor.
Episode Eleven-Agent Snow and Detective Carter
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Austin yelled as he ran to answer the front door. He threw it open.
"What are you doing here? I'm still in the middle of the brainstorming phase of my next scheme to embarrass Cuboy Academy, you'll have to come back tomorrow." Austin said to Snow.
"Austin, I'm not here to stop your crazy scheme. I'm here because I need your help." Snow said.
Austin raised an eyebrow. "Come in." he said.
They sat in Austin's office. Large bags of money filled one corner of the room. Snow sat in a recliner while Austin lounged in his desk chair.
"What is it?"
"I've recently been tasked with finding and apprehending the 'Key Crook'. He's a mysterious case, no-one's ever seen him. But people have heard him." Snow explained.
"Key Crook? What's that all about?"
"He steals answer keys to tests and quizzes from classrooms while teachers are gone. Professor's answer keys went missing after school yesterday. He said he was getting a cup of coffee from the teacher's lounge when he heard someone laugh in an evil manner. He ran back to his classroom. No one was there, but the desk drawer was open and the answer keys gone. All that remained was a fading cloud of purple mist."
"So why did you come to me?"
"Well, you're an evil mastermind, I thought maybe getting inside the mind of one would help me find this guy."
"Awww, you think I'm an evil mastermind? That's so sweet of you to say! All right, I'll help out. We'd better go investigate the scene."
With that, the duo left Austin's house and went to the school to search for clues.
"I told you, there aren't any clues." Snow said. It was after hours at the school and they had been searching for twenty minutes, with no luck.
"Trust me, we've just got to look harder. Aha!" Austin said.
"You found something?"
"I found this piece of purple cloth. It was taped to the bottom of the desk drawer. It has a picture of a white skull on it."
"What is it?"
"A calling card, of course. Every good thief has their own signature calling card. Now we just have to figure out what it means."
"Ahahahaha!" a voice suddenly shouted.
"That must be what Professor heard! C'mon, it came from across the hall!" Snow said, running out the room.
Austin followed her. When they opened the door though, there was no-one. Just an open desk drawer and a cloud of purple mist, fading away.
"Augh, we missed him! How did he escape?" Snow shouted.
"Look, on the bottom of the desk drawer. Another clue." Austin called.
He held up a hand mirror with purple jewels encircling the glass.
"But what does it mean?" Snow asked.
"I'm not sure...we're going to need more clues."
"The only other clue I could think of is the purple clouds that seem to show up whenever the Key Crook disappears."
"Exactly. We should find out where they come from."
"Let's check the library."
"So, why do you guys need a book about magic again?" Kapowski asked as he got a book off the shelf. They were in the library.
"Oh, just curious is all." Snow replied.
"Okay. Well here, you can have mine."
"Why is it bookmarked on the page about love potions?"
"No reason! Forget you saw that! Uhhhh...here you go, purple clouds, good luck, bye!" Kapowski yelled quickly before darting off.
"That was strange." Austin said. "What does it say?"
"Purple mist...it says it is a waste product of a teleportation spell. So that's how he gets in and out so fast! Now we just need to figure out who in the school would know teleportation spells."
The next day, the two sleuths met back in the library.
"No luck. I've asked everyone, but everyone had an alibi. Zapo had book club, the Rainbogeddon Twins haven't eaten a teleport power-up in years since their mom is allergic, and Mr. Wizard was too busy fighting beetleknights. I'm out of ideas!" Snow said.
"Purple!" Austin shouted.
"No, Purple Frost can't teleport."
"No, the color purple. Our 'Key Crook' is rather fond of purple, correct?"
"Well doesn't that bookshelf over there seem rather peculiar to you?" he asked, pointing, "It's purple, unlike all of the other bookshelves which are brown. I'll bet our crook's hideout is back there."
"A secret lair behind the bookshelf? That's so cliché. There is no way that...and you're running to check anyway."
Austin ran to the shelf.
"Look, on the spine of this book! A skull exactly identical to the one on the cloth."
"Huh, maybe you're not crazy..."
"This bookmarked page must have a password to get inside...aw man, it's all gibberish, like in Spanish or something."
"Wait, that's not Spanish!"
"What, is it French? Was I a bit off?"
"No, give me the mirror."
Austin handed her the hand mirror.
She positioned it over the page.
"Look, the writing is in reverse, you need a mirror to read it. It says...open sesame...wow, that was really creative." Snow said sarcastically. Upon saying 'open sesame', the bookshelf slid to the side revealing a tunnel. The two of them went down the tunnel.
Eventually they came to a room where a large monitor was displaying footage from security cameras around the school. A figure dressed in all purple with a skull headdress on his head stood in front of the monitor. Stacks of paper littered the desk in front of him.
He turned abruptly.
"I see someone was smart enough to follow my clues." he said casually.
"Give us those answer keys back!" Snow demanded.
The figure laughed. He pulled a golden staff out from under the desk.
"Why don't you come and take them?"
He struck the staff on the ground and vanished.
"I guess he got scared and decided to run." Austin said, strolling towards the desk.
"Austin, look out!" Snow called.
The figure reappeared in a puff of purple smoke behind Austin and he swung his staff at Austin's head. Austin ducked and threw a punch, only to hit a purple cloud as the figure vanished once again.
"Ahahahahahaha! You'll never catch me, since you can't see me!" his voice said.
Snow looked at the video monitor in the back of the room. One of the camera footages were black, and so Snow could just make out a reflection in the screen.
"Austin, turn the monitor off! You can see him in the reflection!" Snow shouted.
Austin unplugged the monitor and suddenly they could see the figure in the reflection.
The figure was stunned that they had found out his weakness and so didn't move quickly enough when the two clue-finders advanced on him. Austin wrestled the staff from his hands.
"All right, who are you?" Snow asked.
"My name is Warlock. I go to Nitrome School for Delinquent Boys."
"Oh yeah, I remember you! I used to go that school when I was little." Austin said.
"Seems to me like you should go back." Snow quipped. "So why are you stealing test answers?"
"Didn't you just here me? I'm a delinquent. I did it to cause trouble." Warlock answered.
"Oh...okay. Austin, would you do the honors?"
"Gladly." Austin said. He hauled Warlock to his feet. "I know a few cafeteria floors that could use waxing."
Episode Twelve-Licorice's Six Exes
"I am super pumped for basketball season to begin! This year, I'm going to take the team to regionals, baby!" Swindler said.
"Well, I'll wish you my luck for the first game." Licorice replied.
"What do you mean? You're going to be there, right?"
"I'm sorry! But next Tuesday I promised Snow that I would come to her 'Save the Penguins' rally. I can't cancel! Besides, haven't you seen pictures of baby penguins? They are so cute!"
"Yeah, penguins, that's great, but you've just never not come to one of my games before! You're my lucky charm, I need you there to support me!"
"I'm not much of a basketball fan, but I'll come to cheer you on." Kapowski offered.
"No, I need you to be there Licorice. The team will lose if I'm not at the top of my game."
"Hey, Lick, I can reschedule the rally if you want." Snow offered.
"No, this is no longer about the game and the rally. Swindler is too dependent on me in this relationship. Well Swindler, now it's time I ask you to do something." Licorice said.
"What? You're blowing this way out of proportion. All I want is for you to come to the game next Tuesday!" Swindler argued.
"No! That's enough. Now, I keep receiving obnoxious text messages from my ex-boyfriends."
"'S'? As in, plural?"
"Yes. Now, I want you to talk to each of them, like a good boyfriend, and tell them to stop bothering me. I've told them, and they just won't. I figure if they see you come hulking up to them and you tell them to back off, their bound to do it."
Swindler sighed. "Fine. Can I take Blue and Rex as backup though? Just to look, you know, more menacing?"
"I suppose you could."
"Oh, great! We get to go ex-hunting with Swindler. I should have stayed home today." Blue complained.
"You don't have to talk to them, just stand behind me and look like the silent-dangerous type guy. Okay?" Swindler explained.
"Mission parameters have been logged. Lead the way." Rex209 said.
"Where do they usually hang?"
"In the locker rooms." Licorice answered.
"Fine. C'mon, let's get this over with."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Kapowski asked.
"Trust me, Swindler will learn his lesson." Licorice replied.
In the locker rooms, six ice cream scoops sat on the benches. Smokey Bacon munched on a drumstick. Bubble Gum did bicep curls with a dumbbell. Vanilla and Chocolate were punching each other in the arms to see who would break first. Strawberry chewed a piece of mint bubble gum. Mint Choc Chip sat silently, wearing a pair of sunglasses.
"Yuck, how do you chew that stuff?" Bubble Gum asked.
"With my teeth." Strawberry replied, chewing his bubble gum with more ferocity.
"Who are those guys?" Smokey said through a mouthful of turkey.
"No idea." Chocolate replied.
Swindler and Rex (with Blue) walked up to the gang of jocks.
"Hey, aren't you the Swift Swindler? Love that fancy footwork you do on the court man. You taking the team to regionals this year?" Vanilla asked.
"Uh, that's the plan...um, so look guys, I'm dating this girl, and..." Swindler began.
"You want advice, eh? Well you came to the right place. They calls me the love guru around heres. So, what's the problem?" Strawberry asked with his urban accent.
"Oh, well, actually, funny you should mention that...uh, I'm dating Licorice now, and, um, I want you guys to stop texting her so much." Swindler explained.
"Oh. I see. Sure thing, we'll stop texting her." Chocolate said.
"Oh, um, thanks, guys. That means a lot. Um, bye." Swindler said, leaving with Rex.
"Yeah...see you around." Vanilla replied. Once Swindler and Rex were gone, they all looked at Mint Choc Chip.
"What do we do boss?" Strawberry asked.
"Yeah, Mints, what's the plan? We can't let this guy think he can push us around and get away with it, even if he is the Swift Swindler!" Smokey agreed.
Mint Choc Chip removed his sunglasses. The ice creams waited in anticipation for him to lay out their plan.
"We attack at lunch bell." he said simply.
"Yum, it's cheeseburger Thursday! My, favorite day of the week, yeah!" Kapowski sang as the lunch bell's ringing resonated through the cafeteria.
Swindler laughed. "Contain your excitement man."
"You seem pretty chill. How'd you meeting with Licorice's exes go?"
"It was scary and awkward...but quick. They were more cooperative than I thought they'd be."
"Cooperate with this, you oversized leprechaun!" a voice shouted. Swindler spun around.
The ice cream gang stood in an extremely cool-looking pose.
"Uh, guys, what's going on? I thought we understood each other?" Swindler asked.
"Oh, we understand all right. We understand that you're trying to boss us around and take Licorice from us!" Bubble Gum shouted.
"Licorice broke up with all of you guys! I thought..." Swindler began.
"Well you thought wrong. Smokey, Bubbs, go right. Choco, Berry, go left. 'Nilla, you're with me. Let's take down this punk." Mint Choc Chip said matter-of-factly.
The ice cream gang split up and went into a pincer maneuver towards Swindler.
"Don't worry, Blue and I are here to help." Rex209 said as she joined Swindler and Kapowski at the table.
"I didn't want to get involved, but Rex is really stubborn...stupid robots." Blue complained.
On their left, Smokey and Bubble Gum were charging in. Smokey wielded a large roasted-chicken leg. Bubble Gum was unarmed.
On the group's right, Chocolate and Strawberry stood still. They were inhaling sharply.
"My sensors indicate that the pink and brown ice cream scoops' temperatures have dropped sharply. They are preparing to use a freezing-breath ability. I recommend we take evasive maneuvers to avoid it." Rex said.
"Way ahead of you!" Kapowski shouted, running away.
Mint Choc Chip and Vanilla blocked him.
Vanilla blew on Kapowski, encasing him in ice.
"Freeze the others." Mint Choc Chip ordered.
Strawberry and Chocolate exhaled, blowing frigid blue air towards Swindler and Rex.
"Flamethrower activated." Rex said as a cannon unfolded from her side. Flames blasted forth from the barrel, stopping the icy attack.
"Get back! The robot's got fire!" Smokey shouted.
Swindler took this time of chaos and panic to attack. He tackled Bubble Gum to the ground. He pulled out a piece of gum and unwrapped it.
"No! Not that! Anything but that!" Bubble Gum cried.
Swindler popped the gum into Bubble Gum's mouth.
"Nooooooooo! It's...delicious!" Bubble Gum cried. Swindler charged at Smokey. Smokey pulled the strip of bacon that was stuck in his 'hair' out and swung it at Swindler. Swindler caught it and proceeded to take a large bite out of it.
"Ahh! My bacon!" Smokey cried before he was knocked unconscious.
"Circuits have been frozen...sleep mode will be activated until computers can find a solution." Rex's voice sounded. Swindler looked behind him to see Mint Choc Chip standing over Rex, who was frozen solid. Blue banged on the glass dome that held him inside Rex.
"Vanilla, Strawberry, get him." Mint Choc Chip commanded. The two ice creams advanced on Swindler, inhaling on preparation for their icy attack.
Swindler looked around him. He was backed into a corner. He quickly grabbed a bottle of hot fudge off the table next to him and splashed it into Vanilla's face.
"Yuck! My flavorless face has flavor all over it!" he complained, trying to wipe it from his eyes.
"You okay, bro?" Strawberry asked. Swindler flipped over them and landed behind them. He ran over to Kapowski, who was still frozen in ice, and tackled the frozen statue. The ice shattered and Kapowski was free, though he was very cold and blue in the face.
"You've got to help me, Kapowski." Swindler said.
"I'm...k-k-k-kind of...c-c-c-c-cold right...n-n-now." Kapowski replied. Swindler looked around him. The four remaining ice creams had him surrounded.
"Solution found, beginning hull overheat." Rex's voice chimed. The ice around Rex melted away as the hull of the mech-suit became red hot. Rex stood up. The glass dome of the suit popped open and Blue flew out. Blue latched onto Chocolate's face, refusing to let go.
"Get it off me!" Chocolate shouted.
Rex fired her proton cannon at Strawberry, melting him into a pool of pink cream.
"Berry!" Vanilla cried before being tackled by Swindler.
"All right, Mint Choc Chip, if you go away now and never bother me or Licorice again, I will end this now." Swindler said.
Several moments went by. The ice creams, save for Strawberry's liquidy remains, looked at their leader with anticipation, hoping he would end it then and there.
"Very well. We'll back off." Mint Choc Chip said. They all cheered.
"Oh, um...sorry about Strawberry by the way." Swindler said.
"Don't worry 'bout it. We'll just put his melted body into a molded container and pop it in the freezer for a few hours. He'll be good as new. Smokey, get some sponges. Bubbs, get a bucket. Strawberry has melted yet again."
"Oh...does...this happen often?" Kapowski asked.
"Yeah. It does. Being made of ice cream sucks. Ask anyone." Mint Choc Chip said as the ice cream gang left.
"Hey Licorice, does being made of ice cream feel bad?" Kapowski asked Licorice, who was standing off to the side.
"I don't think it does. Oh, and Swindy, I told you that I'd teach you a lesson." Licorice said.
"Wait...you knew they'd do that?" Swindler asked.
"I could've been killed!"
"Let it go, Swindler, it's in the past."
"But...what...but..." Swindler stammered. He sighed. "So...you coming to next week's game?"
Episode Thirteen-Detention Party
"You are coming to my party tonight, aren't you?" Licorice asked. The group were gathered by their lockers before first bell.
"Wouldn't miss it!" Snow exclaimed.
"I'll be there." Kapowski replied.
"You know it!" Swindler chimed.
"Rex is going, so I guess I'm going." Blue said.
"Great! Um, except for one thing, Kapowski..." Licorice said.
"Oh?" Kapowski replied.
"You um...aren't exactly invited..."
"What? Why not?"
"Because you know how to kill a party."
"What? That is not true! Everyone loved when I brought my Historical Facts book to Snow's birthday!"
"No, we really didn't." Blue said.
"What are you kids doing!!!!!111" Nitrome Boss yelled at them as he walked down the hallway. He stopped, putting his small hands on his comparatively large hips.
"We're hanging out until first bell rings." Snow answered.
"First bell rang ten minutes ago!!!!!!!111"
"What? That's impossible, I am never late for a cl-ahhhh! He's right! How did this happen?" Kapowski asked, gawking at a wall clock.
"The school had a power outage last night in which all of the clocks stopped working for ten minutes. We notified everyone in the morning announcements that they were to go to class ten minutes early." Nitrome Boss explained.
"Who listens to the morning announcements?" Swindler asked.
"Everyone who was not late for class!!!!!111 Detention for all of you!!!!!!!111"
"Nooooooooooooooo! Not detention! I've never had a detention in my life! This is going to ruin my school record! I'll never get into a good college, and I won't be able to get my dream job as a lawyer, and I'll have to live in an alleyway with a really mean cat named Tiger that always steals the half-eaten candy bars that I salvage out of the trash! Please, Mr. Principal Nitrome Boss, have mercy!" Kapowski cried, kneeling on the floor in defeat.
"That was so pathetic I was almost moved to let you off with a warning." Nitrome Boss said. "But since I'm not that kind of guy, I'll give you an extra two hours detention instead."
Nitrome Boss handed each of them yellow detention slips and stomped away.
In science class, Kapowski was losing his head.
"Dude, what are you doing?" Swindler asked.
Kapowski was hugging his knees and rocking back and forth in his chair.
"It's only four hours...it's only four hours...it's only four--ahhhhh! I can't take it anymore! When will this agony end?" he screamed.
"Uh, we're in science class right now. Detention is after school."
"Yeah, which means I won't be able to have my party tonight!" Licorice exclaimed.
"What?" the whole group chorused.
"Sorry guys, but detention is happening at the same time the party was scheduled for."
"Wait...I have a crazy idea..." Blue said.
Everyone leaned in, waiting to hear his plan.
"We get a bouncy house, preferably a castle-themed one, and fill it with pickles..."
"I already hate this plan..." Snow said. "Look, why don't we just have the party...in detention?"
"That's a great idea, Snow! I'll send out a new invite...there we go, the part-ay has been moved to detention." Licorice said, tapping a message on her phone.
"Great!" Swindler exclaimed.
"It's not great! Every college I apply to will look at this detention and sentence me to a minimum-wage job slopping taco meat at the Off the Rails Taco Hut! I'm ruined, I tell you...ruined!" Kapowski cried.
"I think Nitrome Boss broke Kapowski." Blue said.
"Sensors indicate that Kapowski has no broken or fractured joints, bones, or organs." Rex209 piped.
"It's an expression Rex." Blue replied.
In detention, the group were gathered at a desk. Professor sat at the front of the room, nonchalantly playing Icebreaker on his phone.
A knock came at the door.
"Yes, yes, come in...oooo, I finally got three stars on level 16! Yes!" Professor said. The door opened.
"I've got about fifteen students here for detention." Nitrome Boss said.
"Fifteen?!" Professor exclaimed.
"Yes, and for some strange reason they all have balloons, food, and drinks. I would usually look into suspicious activity like that, but Nitrome Idol is on and I want to see who wins." Nitrome Boss replied as the fifteen students filed into the room.
"Oh, who are you rooting for?" Professor asked.
"PORT1967 ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!111" Nitrome Boss replied.
"Yeah, he is a really good singer on the show. Oh well, back to playing Ice--I mean, watching these trouble-makers!" Professor said. Nitrome Boss nodded before closing the door and leaving.
"Glad you could make it guys!" Licorice said.
"Are you kidding? We'd never miss one of your parties!" a purple penguin said.
"Let's crank up the tunes!" Hallbert shouted, flipping on a boom box.
"Wait...what's going on here?" Professor asked.
"We're having a party." Snow replied.
"Oh...well, that's fine, as long as you keep it down so I can play my game."
"Wait, you're not going to stop this?" Kapowski asked.
"Eh, why should I? I just want to play my...whoa, you guys brought Cheesy Chains? Pass 'em over!"
Four hours later, the party ended as everyone was dismissed from detention.
"I guess that wasn't so bad...the fact that there was a party going on took my mind off of it being detention." Kapowski said.
"See, Kapowski? You worry too much, you've really got to lighten up." Swindler said.
Kapowski laughed. "Ha ha, yeah..."
"So, what do you guys want to get in trouble for tomorrow?"
~Port1967 got a special mention!
Episode Fourteen-Best Served Cold
"I suppose you are both wondering why are gathered y'all here today." the mysterious voice said. The voice's owner sat in a large swivel chair that was enshrouded in darkness. A single bright light shone on the other two people in the room.
"Well, actually, yes. We don't know who you are and you took us here against our will." Austin replied, struggling against the ropes that held him down to his metal folding chair. Justin sat in the chair to his right, tied up in a similar way.
"Y'all really are thick-headed, incompetent dim-wits." the voice said.
"Hey! We're not incompetent! What does incompetent mean?" Justin asked. The figure turned slowly in the swivel chair, flipping on a flashlight as he did so to illuminate his face.
"Norman Noggin?!" the two trouble-makers said in unison.
"Yeah, that's right yo. And I've got a proposition for you." Norman replied.
"No! Not prepositions! I'm awful at English grammar!" Justin cried.
"Not preposition fool, proposition. Y'see, I've got a bone to pick with a particular student over at Cuboy Academy. And word on the street is that you two want to take Cuboy Academy down as well."
"Look, just because I wrote it on the street in sidewalk chalk doesn't mean it's true." Justin said.
"Will you shut up?! You both really are stupid. Which is where I come in. You two have got muscle, but your schemes are lacking yo. I suggest that we ally together and form an unstoppable team. With my unlimited amount of resources, thanks to my financial success, and your brawn, we will surely succeed!"
Austin nodded. "I like the way you think. Just one problem. There's this girl, Lady Snow Fox, that always comes in and stops us."
"Oh, I am quite familiar with that particular female, believe me, I am. I don't see how she's managed to stop you guys in the past, she seems pretty wimpy to me. But I do have another set of arms in this plan."
"And who might that be?" Austin asked. The temperature suddenly dropped thirty degrees and the room filled with snow and frigid wind. A figure stepped into the light.
The blue, icy humanoid grinned evilly.
"When do we start?" he asked.
"Have you seen Snow today?" Kapowski asked. The group of friends, except for Snow, were in science class.
"Nope. She's probably just sick, she'll be back tomorrow." Swindler said reassuringly.
"Oh...yeah, you're probably right."
The bell rung and the students stood up from their desks, collecting their things to go to their next class.
"Hey, have you met the new kid?" Licorice asked.
"Sorry, but after Episode Seven I'm not interested in meeting new students." Kapowski replied.
"FOURTH WALL!" they all shouted.
"Anyway, he looks kind of creepy to me, but cool at the same time." Licorice said.
"Oh, so he's cool, huh? Does he wear sunglasses and leave swooning damsels in his wake?" Kapowski asked.
"No, he's literally cool. Like cold. I froze sitting next to him in health class. If I weren't made of ice cream, I'd have hated it."
"That's not a new kid, that's Purple Frost."
"No, this guy is blue, not purple. He must be related to Purple or something."
"Well, maybe I'll talk to him sometime." Kapowski said. The bell rung just as they entered their next class.
Later, the group was gathered in the library.
"Where is Swindler? He was supposed to help me with my algebra homework." Licorice complained.
"Swindler has a D in algebra you know." Kapowski said.
"I know, but I've got an F. He's obviously a genius."
"Riiiiiiiiight." Kapowski said, stretching out the word to emphasize his doubt.
"Well, Rex and I have got to go. Choir practice starts in five minutes." Blue said.
"You're in choir?"
"You don't know everything about me." he said as they left the library.
"Everyone has disappeared. I wonder where they got off to." Kapowski said later as he and Licorice walked down the hall.
"Let's look for Swindler. He's probably in the locker rooms getting ready for tomorrow's game." Licorice suggested. They made their way to the locker room.
"Swindler! Swindler!" Kapowski called.
"Kapowski! Lick! Help!" Swindler's voice called from the back of the room.
"We're coming!" Licorice replied as the duo ran towards the voice. When they reached the back of the room, they found Austin and Justin sitting on a bench.
"Who knew that Justin could do a perfect impression of the Swift Swindler?" Austin asked.
Two shadows loomed from behind. Kapowski and Licorice turned around to find that they were surrounded.
Jack Frost and Norman stood in their way.
"Y'know Kapowski, for someone as smart as you, I expected it to be harder to trap you." Norman said, clicking his tongue in mock disappointment.
"What've you done with Swindler?" Licorice asked.
"Don't worry, Swindler is with Snow and your little blue friend in the deep freezer room. We can't have them melting and getting away, can we?"
"You froze them!" Kapowski yelled.
"Oh, I can't take credit for that handiwork. No, credit for those three masterpieces goes to my friend Jack here."
Jack stepped forward, frost spreading across the floor.
"Wait, Norman, how does getting your revenge on this nerd take down Cuboy Academy?" Austin asked.
"Ah, yes, well that part of the plan comes after--no wait, it doesn't happen at all. Jack, freeze 'em!" Norman commanded.
Jack grabbed Austin's arm, making ice spread across his skin.
"You won't get away with this." Austin said before the ice completely encased him.
Norman looked over at Justin.
"Honestly, I don't care about taking down the school. You can do what you want." Justin said, holding his hands up in surrender.
"Jack, get the ice cream. Leave Kapowski to me." Norman said.
Jack looked around in confusion. "Do you want me to get her, or the celebratory victory ice cream that we got at the store?" Jack asked.
"Her!" Norman shouted. Jack nodded. He blew on Licorice, turning her into a popsicle.
"Now Kapowski, time for revenge." Norman said.
"Look, I really don't want to fight...I'd rather just play you at chess, or...or maybe a friendly game of tag?" Kapowski said.
Norman head-butted Kapowski rather than answering. Kapowski flew backwards through the wall. Norman gave chase.
Kapowski pulled himself out of the rubble and started running.
"You're it!" Norman shouted.
Kapowski made it to a stairwell. He scrambled down the stairs. He hauled on the door, only to find that it was locked. Norman arrived at the top of the stairwell.
"Here I come, Kapowski!" he shouted, jumping down the stairwell rather than using the stairs.
Norman, however, forgot about one thing...his enormous cranium. His head got caught between the two railings on the stairs, leaving his body dangling helplessly in mid-air.
"Looks like your head is too big for this school." Kapowski said.
"Jack! Jack! Get in here!" Norman shouted.
Jack arrived at the top of the stairwell.
"Get him Jack! Get him! Freeze him!" Norman demanded. Jack burst out laughing at the sight of Norman hanging from the railings.
"Jack! Yo, Frost! What are you doing!?" Norman shouted.
"Posting this to the Internet." Jack replied, tapping on his phone. "Wow, this is just pathetic."
"Get me down from here!"
"Yeah right, get yourself down, Mr. Man-with-the-plan." Jack replied, walking away.
Suddenly, the group of friends arrived with Kapowski.
"What happened?" Snow asked.
"This school wasn't big enough for the two of--wait, just Norman's head." Kapowski replied. They all laughed.
"Get me down! I am Norman Noggin and I demand that you get me down from here!" Norman yelled.
"Okay, but as soon as you get down you get to start cleaning up the locker rooms that you just destroyed." Blue replied.
"Um...on second thought, I like the view from up here..."
~Thanks to AC4E for her suggestion!
Episode Fifteen-Weird Wednesday
"I don't know, Swindler, I think you should really step it up when it comes to your grades." Kapowski said.
"Nah, it's all good. What I really have to worry about is tonight's game. We're facing BetterThanCuboy Academy tonight and we've got to bring our A game." Swindler replied.
"Please, you wouldn't know anything about the letter A if it smacked you square upside the head. I work way harder than you do to keep my grades up."
"No way! I work harder than you! I've got to train, watch my diet, exercise, and go to practice to make sure I'm in top shape for a game."
"Well I have to study my eyeballs out, do all of my homework and projects, and thoroughly read all of the curriculum for an exam, which, by the way, I have a very important one after school today."
"Guys, you're both good at what you do and you both work hard at what you do. Can't we just agree on that?" Snow asked.
"No way, I work way harder than Kapowski!" Swindler argued.
"In your dreams! I work harder than you!"
Suddenly, dual beams of light hit Kapowski and Swindler. The two beams then crossed each other and touched the other person. They then vanished altogether.
"Finally, I can't stand when people argue like that!" said a man who walked over to them. He wore blue overalls and a blocky red helmet on his head.
"Um, who are you?" Blue asked.
"I am Mr. Protagonist, the school's new counselor. I have many methods of how to solve disputes, but this is probably one of my favorites."
"What is?" Swindler asked. Except it wasn't Swindler's voice. It was Kapowski's voice coming out of Swindler's body. "Ahhhhh! Not another body switch! What is this, the third time I've mentioned episode seven!?"
"Careful young man, that fourth wall is not to be broken!" Mr. Protagonist warned.
"Wait, what do you mean this is your favorite method?" Snow asked.
"When two people argue, it is usually because they have not been in the other person's shoes. My method of body swapping solves this problem."
"Solves it?! I have a basketball game tonight! Have you seen Kapowski's shrimpy body? I can't play basketball in this!" Swindler (in Kapowski's body) said.
"Don't worry, as soon as you two learn your lesson, I will switch you back. That's how the Protagonist method works."
"But sir, this is a rather important game tonight. And Kapowski has a very important exam to take tonight as well! Couldn't they, you know, learn their lesson another time?" Snow asked.
"I'm afraid not. No time like the present! Once you boys have learned your lessons, come see me in my office." Mr. Protagonist said as he walked away.
"Great! What am I supposed to do? Swindler's grades have obviously proven that his brain is not large enough to contain the information I need to know for this exam! I'm going to flunk it!" Kapowski shouted.
"Not unless you learn your lesson, I guess." Blue said.
"Well, what do we do until then?" Swindler asked.
"Well, I guess Swindler will have to study for Kapowski's test and Kapowski will have to train and attend basketball practice until we can figure out what else to do."
Swindler and Kapowski groaned.
"Okay, here are my flashcards, my textbooks, my notes, my flash drive containing research papers, my past tests and quizzes--" Kapowski began as he loaded Swindler (in Kapowski's body) up with studying tools. They were standing by Kapowski's locker.
"Do I really need all of this stuff?" Swindler asked.
"Yes, you do."
"Here are my weights, my uniform, my sneakers, my basketball, my playbook..." Swindler said, loading up Kapowski (in Swindler's body) up with training gear. They were now in the locker rooms.
"I need all of this?!" Kapowski asked.
"Um...Tyrannosaurus Rex?" Swindler (in Kapowski's body) guessed.
"Nope, not even close. The answer was Mark Twain." Blue replied. He and Swindler had met in the library to study.
Kapowski (in Swindler's body) stumbled in, sweating profusely.
"Hey champ, how'd it go?" Blue joked.
"That...was...insane...I'm so...tired..." Kapowski stammered.
"And that was only pre-training. You'd better hurry, practice is starting!" Swindler said.
Kapowski moaned and slunk from the room.
"Next question: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?" Blue asked.
An hour later, Kapowski stumbled in again, sweating an ocean.
Swindler held his head in his hands, pondering the next question's answer.
"The game starts in thirty minutes and my exam starts in twenty! What do we do?" Kapowski asked.
"I don't know, but I'm tuckered out. How do you do this stuff man? It's impossible! This is the hardest thing I think I've ever done!" Swindler said.
"You think that's hard, practice was brutal! We did laps until I thought my legs were made of jelly!" Kapowski replied.
"Wait...I think I know what lesson we were suppose to learn!"
There was a knock on Mr. Protagonist's door.
"Come in!" he called. Swindler and Kapowski came through the door.
"Ah, boys! It sure took you a while. Have we learned our lesson?"
"We sure have. While keeping my grades up is hard work, staying in good physical condition to play in a sport has its fair share of hard work too." Kapowski said.
"And vice versa." Swindler agreed.
"Gee, well put, Swindler." Kapowski said sarcastically.
"So you have learned your lesson. I'm glad, because I really don't want us to lose to BetterThanCuboy Academy. Speaking of which, you'd better get out on the field." Mr. Protagonist said as he switched their bodies back with his beams.
"Thanks Mr. Protagonist!" the boys said, fleeing from the room.
A knock came at the door.
"Come in!" Mr. Protagonist called.
The door opened and Blue hulked in.
"Mr. Protagonist, tell Rex that being me is way harder than being a robot!" Blue said.
"And tell Blue that carrying him around all day is way harder than lounging around in a mech-suit!" Rex shouted.
"Here we go again..." Mr. Protagonist said.
~Thanks to Test Subject Fan for his suggestion and a BIG thanks to all of you who have read and supported me so far! You all rock!
Episode Sixteen-The Easter Special
"Found another one!" Snow called.
"Man, how are you so good at this? I've only found one!" Kapowski complained.
"Actually, that's a real egg." Swindler said.
"Oh...I'll be right back. I have a nest to visit."
"Well, I think I've found enough eggs. This should be enough candy to tide me over until Halloween." Snow said.
"No way! You can never have too much candy!" Swindler said.
"Yeah, and besides, everyone knows that the egg hunt isn't over until the golden Easter egg has been found." Blue said.
"Golden Easter egg?"
"Yeah. Every year an egg with special prizes inside is hidden. It is only recognizable by its trademark golden color."
"Where do we find it?"
"Well, last year it was hidden in the locker rooms in one of the lockers. But it is hidden in a different place every year. Who knows where it could be now?"
"I am ready to hunt eggs!" Rex209 said as a double barrel shotgun unfolded from her side.
"It isn't that kind of hunting Rex. You just look for them and grab them when you find them." Swindler explained.
The shotgun folded back.
"I say we form a team to find the golden egg and then split the prize once we find it." Snow suggested.
"Yeah!" they all chorused. They sped off in search of the egg.
Kapowski returned, his egg basket now empty.
"Guys? Where'd you go?" he asked.
"Hello!" a small voice said. He turned around. A small red bunny stood next to him.
"Hi there little guy! What's your name?"
"Well hi Droplet! I'm Kapowski."
"Hi. Can you help me look for eggs? I want to find the golden one."
"A golden egg, huh? Well I'm not very good at looking for eggs, but maybe if we work together we can find one."
"Thanks!" the two walked off together.
"It wouldn't be in Professor's classroom, Swindler! We're wasting our time." Blue complained. Swindler was rummaging through Professor's bookshelves for the egg.
"Aha! I've found something!" Swindler said.
"You found the egg?"
"No, I found my paper airplane that Professor confiscated last week. I've missed this thing!"
"Focus, Swindler! Hey...has anyone seen Kapowski?" Snow asked.
"Who?" Licorice asked.
"You know, kind of short, brown hair, green backpack, dorky but in an attractive way?" Snow said, describing him.
"What did you say?" Swindler said.
"Um, nothing..." Snow replied.
"Oh, that guy? I usually just ignore him." Licorice said.
"Okay, but have you seen him lately?"
"Not since he ran off to put that egg back in the nest." Swindler said.
"So, if you were a golden egg, where would I be?" Kapowski asked himself. He and Droplet were outside, looking for the golden egg.
"I would be in my hands right now, giving my limitless power to me!" Droplet replied in a demonic voice.
"I, um, I mean, I would be hiding..." Droplet said in his cute voice.
"Uh, right. So any ideas where it could be?"
"Why don't we try the cafeteria?"
"Okay, sounds good."
Back in Professor's classroom, the friends were still looking for the golden egg.
"I'm telling you Swindler, the golden egg wouldn't be here in a million years." Blue said.
"You're just not looking hard enough. Maybe if you spent more time searching and less time standing there telling me I'm wrong, we'd have more luck!" Swindler snapped back.
"Okay, okay, I'm looking. Rex, run a three-sixty degree X-ray vision scan of the room." Blue commanded.
"Why didn't I think of that?"
"Beginning scan." Rex said.
After a few moments, Rex beeped.
"I have located the golden egg. It is outside. Follow me." Rex said. The group left the room, tailing Rex.
"Wait, I think I might know where it is!" Kapowski said suddenly. He and Droplet were still outside looking.
"Where?" Droplet asked.
"Well, um...this is a little embarrassing. Earlier I had an egg in my basket, and Swindler told me it was a real egg...I believed him at first, but it was actually...the color gold, so..." Kapowski explained.
"YOU IMBECILE! YOU HAD THE EGG AND YOU LOST IT!?" Droplet shrieked in a demonic voice. "I mean, um, whoops, accidents happen, why don't you show me the way?"
"Uh, all right." Kapowski replied, heading towards the tree with the nest.
Both search parties arrived at the tree together.
"The egg is in that nest." Rex209 said.
"Woohoo! We found it!" Swindler cheered.
"I think you mean I found it. This egg was the one I had earlier, the one you told me was actually a real egg!" Kapowski said accusingly.
Droplet climbed up into the tree and grabbed the golden egg. He hoisted it into the air and laughed triumphantly.
"Muahahahahaha! Yes! The power is all mine!" he said in his demonic voice.
"Droplet? What's going on? We're going to split the prize, right?" Kapowski asked.
"You fools! This was my plan from the beginning! My people have been searching for the golden egg for centuries, and now I have found it! The unlimited power of the golden egg is mine! Muahahahahahahaha!"
"Um, you do realize that that is just a plastic egg painted gold and that it is all part of our Easter egg hunt, right?" Blue asked.
"It's just a plastic egg. It has candy and money inside, not unlimited power." Swindler explained.
Droplet popped open the egg, candy and money and other prizes falling out.
"No! No! NOOOOOOOO!" Droplet yelled. "I was a fool! How could I have been so blind?"
"Uh, yeah. I feel embarrassed for you. C'mon guys, let's go trade our candy with each other." Snow said. The group departed and Droplet left, feeling defeated. Kapowski stayed behind. He picked up the empty shell of the golden egg, popping them back together. The egg began to glow with a brilliant light.
"Whoa!" Kapowski said. "It really does have unlimited power. I can feel it...it feels...amazing! It feels...wait...oh no! My body can't handle its power! Ahhhhhhhh!"
The golden egg popped open again, sucking Kapowski inside like it was a black hole. It then clicked closed again and fell to the ground.
"Kapowski? Kapowski! Where'd he go?" Swindler asked. "Well, I suppose if no one else is going to take this egg, I will." he said, picking the egg off the ground and walking away.
Episode Seventeen-An A-Mazing Adventure!
"Swindler, tell Azul that I won't be speaking to him anymore!" the white elephant seal with the pink bow said.
"And Kapowski, you can tell Rosa that I won't be talking to her either until she apologizes!" the white elephant seal wearing the blue hat retorted.
"Swindler, tell Azul that I will not be apologizing and that I won't talk to him until he apologizes to me!" Rosa said.
The two stormed off in opposite directions.
"What happened?" Snow asked, just arriving.
"Well, Rosa and Azul are twins, right? Well they can't agree on a theme for their birthday party. Rosa wants a pink disco-themed party while Azul wants a rock-n-roll concert themed party. He said her idea was dumb, and then one thing led to another, badda-bing badda-boom, they're not speaking to each other." Swindler explained.
"I think we should do something about it. I don't have any siblings, but I know that if I did, I'd want to work out the problem with them." Snow said.
Blue groaned. "Why do you always have to get mixed up in other people's business? Can't we just let them work it out?"
"That's a great idea, Blue! We can have them see a counselor!" Snow said.
"Was she even listening? I never mentioned a counselor!"
"No, but you did make a good point. We should let someone intervene that is actually an expert at intervening."
"Oh, I see what you mean." Kapowski agreed.
"Let's go talk to Mr. Protagonist! He'll know what to do."
The group was in Mr. Protagonist's office five minutes later.
"You want me to intervene? I'm sorry but I can't work my switcheroo magic unless the two people are close to each other, and from the sounds of it, the twins are staying away from each other as much as possible." Mr. Protagonist said.
"Can't you just talk to each of them individually?" Licorice asked.
"That doesn't usually work. If Kapowski stole your cell phone and then I told you that he was sorry for doing it, would you believe me?"
"No, it's not as sincere." Licorice replied.
"Exactly. I'm very sorry, but I think you'll have to find another way to help the twins."
The group sighed collectively and then walked out of the office.
"I don't know what to do guys. Maybe we should give up." Snow said as the group took their seats at lunchtime.
"Give up? That doesn't sound like you." Swindler said.
"What else can we do? I just can't think of anymore ideas."
"Never say never!" Kapowski said as he approached them.
"I didn't say never."
"Oh...well, um, never say...can't? I guess that works. Anyways, you'll never believe what I found. I was downstairs, in the basement, digging around in the old stuff from the eighties, and under a massive pair of legwarmers, I found this!" Kapowski pulled out a cube glowing with psychedelic colors and patterns.
"What is that?" Licorice asked.
"This is a maze power-up. It transports all nearby people to the maze world where the twins' family comes from."
"How will that help?"
"We just use this on the twins and they'll be forced to work together to find a way out of the maze. It's perfect!"
"That might actually work. Swindler, Blue and I will get Azul to come to the cafeteria, you and Licorice get Rosa to come here. Then we'll use it." Snow said.
Ten minutes later, the groups had miraculously gotten the two twins into the same room together.
"Why am I here again? Something about free energy dots for lunch?" Rosa asked.
"Not exactly..." Licorice replied.
"Hey, why are you here?" Azul asked as the other group arrived.
"Why are you here?" Rosa shot back.
"I can answer your questions. You're both here to learn your lesson." Kapowski said. "Maze power-up, activate!" He threw the psychedelic cube on the ground and vanishes. After a quick flash, they all found themselves in a large maze with rainbow-colored walls and black floors.
"Ahh! Kapowski! You said that they would be transported to the maze, not us!" Swindler shouted.
"Oh yeah, I probably should have mentioned that..."
"How will we get out of here?" Snow asked.
"It's okay, I've planned for this. I have a teleport power=up right here!" Kapowski said, holding up a second glowing cube. "As soon as you both apologize to each other, I'll activate it and we can go home."
"No! I won't apologize!" Rosa shouted.
"Me neither!" Azul said.
"Guys, why don't you just compromise? You can have a pink, rock-n-roll disco concert party!" Snow suggested.
"Well I was trying to do something nice for Azul but he just wouldn't have it! I came up with the pink disco theme for him! I know how much he likes disco, and his favorite color is pink!" Rosa said.
"Wait...that's why you did that? I came up with the rock-n-roll concert theme for you! I know how much you like rock-n-roll, so I wanted to make it special for you." Azul replied.
"Really? Wow...I'm sorry Azul, I didn't know."
"I'm sorry too. Why don't we do what Snow said? Have a big mash-up theme for the party?"
"Sounds good. Can we go home now?"
"We certainly can." Kapowski said, throwing the cube on the ground. After a quick flash, they were back in the cafeteria.
"Wow, that actually worked! Great idea, Kapowski!" Licorice said.
"What are you all doing? Lunch ended an hour ago! Get to class!!!!!!111" Nitrome Boss shouted at them.
"Oh yeah, time passes by faster in the Maze Dimension. Probably should have told you that." Rosa said.
Episode Eighteen-Gym Class is Super!
"Ugh, I hate gym class!" Kapowski complained as he collapsed, sweating.
"It isn't...so bad." Swindler said, panting.
"I agree with Swindler." Blue said.
"Of course you do. Rex does all the running for you!" Snow pointed out.
"This new gym teacher is tough! What's his name again?" Kapowski asked.
"Mr. Rico." a voice said. They all turned around. A chubby boy wearing blue clothes and a sweatband stood a few feet behind them, trying to recover his lungs.
"You say that like you know him." Snow said.
"I do. He's...he's my uncle." the boy replied.
"The gym teacher is your uncle? That must be tough." Blue said.
"It is. Uncle Rico has very high expectations for me, physically anyway. He just doesn't understand that I don't like exercise."
"Billy! What are you doing? You're supposed to be running!" a voice yelled. A muscular man with brown hair and a brown beard walked up to them. He wore blue work-out clothes similar to Billy's. He had a whistle hanging around his neck, and he blew into it sharply. Billy clutched his ears at the sound.
"Move! Move! Move! You five, you've been lollygagging much too long! Drop and give me twenty!" Uncle Rico ordered.
"I hope he means twenty algebra equations!" Kapowski said.
"Pushups! I wanna see 'em!"
The group groaned as they got into the pushup position and began doing pushups while the strict gym teacher counted them off.
Later, the group were standing against the wall with the rest of the class.
"All right, today we're going to play some dodge ball! Team captains are Hallbert," Hallbert cheered as his name was called, "and Billy." Billy groaned at the call of his name.
Once the teams were picked, they went to different ends of the gym as a dozen dodge balls were lined up in the middle.
"We'll never beat Hallbert's team!" Billy cried.
"Not with that attitude! C'mon, let's show them are throwing arms!" Swindler cheered.
Uncle Rico blasted on his whistle, signaling the game's start. The two teams raced for the middle. Hallbert's team grabbed up nine, while Billy's team got an abysmal four balls.
Dodge balls began to fly across the room. Uncle Rico blasted his whistle each time a person was out. Very soon the team members began to dwindle. Swindler, Billy, and Blue were the only remaining players on Billy's side, while Hallbert still had half of his team.
"C'mon, Billy, if you don't believe you can do it, you won't be able to!" Swindler said.
"But it just isn't possible to beat them! They're too--" Billy was interrupted as a dodge ball connected with his head. The whistle blasted. Several moments later, the game ended, with Hallbert's team victorious.
"Billy, what were you doing out there? You could've taken those guys easily!" Uncle Rico shouted.
"No Uncle Rico, I couldn't. I'm just not very athletic." Billy replied.
"But you can become athletic. And I think I know how."
"Not again!" Billy complained.
"What? What not again?" Kapowski asked.
"The Super Treadmill."
"The Super what?"
"The Super Treadmill. The most stupidly dangerous, craziest, fat-burning machine ever created."
"That doesn't sound so bad." Swindler said.
"Believe me, it is."
"Ah, don't worry Billy! This is gym class, so we do everything as a class! Everyone get ready to run! I'm bringing out the Super Treadmill!"
Moments later they were all running on the ginormous treadmill.
"This isn't too bad." Snow said.
"Just wait." Billy said.
Soon the class were leaping over hurdles, cacti, lit candles, and TV sets.
"This is insane!" Blue yelled once the dogs were released onto the machine.
"I told you!" Billy shouted.
After an hour on the treadmill, the class was allowed to get off as the dismissal bell dolled mercifully.
Everyone was panting and sweating like crazy.
"Billy? What happened?"
"I told you it burned fat." Billy replied. Billy was now a scrawny, muscular boy.
"Everyone get a good night's rest! We've got another dodge ball game tomorrow!" Uncle Rico announced.
"C'mon Billy!" Swindler said.
"I don't know..." Billy replied.
"You can take these guys! You're stronger and more athletic now!"
They were all about to begin the dodge ball game that day.
"But Hallbert's so much more athletic and strong!"
"Listen Billy, one time, Hallbert challenged me to a fight. I was scared out of my mind, but I didn't back down. Mostly because he threatened to hammer throw Kapowski to Pluto."
"Yeah...thanks by the way." Kapowski piped in.
"No problem. Anyways, Hallbert was stronger and more athletic, but in the end, I beat him. Because I believed in myself."
"Really?" Billy asked.
"It's true. I was there. I remember it like it was fifteen episodes ago." Kapowski said.
Uncle Rico blasted his whistle. "Hey, scrawny geek! Don't be breaking the fourth wall in my gym!" he shouted.
"Wow, so what you're saying is, if I just believe in myself, I can win?" Billy asked.
"All right! Let's go out there and give it our best!" Billy said as he ran off.
"Wait...I thought Hallbert threw you into the air and then you landed on him accidentally." Kapowski said.
"Yeah, just don't tell Billy that." Swindler said out of the side of his mouth.
Uncle Rico blasted the whistle and the game begun. This time, each team grabbed equal halves of the balls. They began to hurl the dodge balls at one another, the whistle blasting as each ball claimed its target.
Suddenly, a miracle throw happened. The dodge ball seemed to leave Billy's hand in slow motion. It soared through the gym and homed in on its desired target: Hallbert. Hallbert's helmet went flying off as the ball hit him in the face. Once he was down, his team easily fell as their confidence was broken. Billy's team cheered so loudly that they couldn't even hear Uncle Rico declare their victory.
Everyone hoisted Billy into the air, cheering.
"Victoryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Blue shouted.
"Whoa, deja-vu." Snow said.
Episode Nineteen-Playing Hookie
"Guys, guys! You'll never guess what I got!" Kapowski shouted, frantically running up to the group gathered by the lockers.
"Is it a unicorn?" asked Licorice.
"Is it money?" asked Snow.
"Is it a poor opinion on the proper construction of a taco?" Blue asked.
"No no no, none of those things...I got the new Nitrome Enjoyment System!" Kapowski replied, proudly holding up his new game system.
"But I thought that wasn't supposed to come out for another month!" Swindler shouted.
"Billy works at a video game store and he gave me it! He'd give you one too, if you just asked."
"All right! Let's go!"
"Whoa, hold up there. We're kind of supposed to be in school right now. You know, learning?"
"Hello, playing?! I must have that game system!"
"Sorry, but it seems you'll have to wait until after school." Kapowski replied, shrugging. The bell rang. The group departed, leaving Swindler and Blue (in Rex209) standing alone.
"I can't wait six hours to get it! I must have it now!"
"But you heard Kapowski. We can't leave school." Blue replied.
"Oh, but we can. We've got a super-powerful robot here to do the job."
"Oh, you're right..." Blue said, "Rex209, activate cloaking device."
"Activating." Rex209 responded. After a few whirrs and clicks, the trio vanished and became invisible.
"All right! It worked! Now let's just sneak out the front door." Swindler said.
The trio began walking towards the main entrance, Swindler bumping into objects as he went.
"Man, it's really hard to walk when you're invisible." Swindler said.
Soon, they made it to the front entrance.
"Okay, now we just have to somehow distract Taki the security guard, and we're home free."
"Creating distraction." Rex209 said. Suddenly, Rex209 became visible again.
"What are you doing?" Swindler asked.
"Go. I'll distract him. Just get to that video game store." she replied. Rex209 jumped out from behind their hiding place.
"Taki, look! The sushi station is open in the cafeteria!" Blue shouted.
"Really? Oh, boy!" Taki said, dashing out of the room. The door he had been standing in front of mysteriously swung open and closed again as Swindler made his invisible escape.
Once outside, the cloaking device switched off, leaving Swindler out in the open. He ran towards the road leading to the game store.
Suddenly, a laser cannon popped out of the brick wall of the school. Swindler turned and read a sign aloud, "Escapees will be shot with experimental weaponry. Oh, come on!"
The cannon fired a laser at him. He rolled out of the way and ran along the side of the building. He was breathing heavily. He sighed as he regained his lungs. He turned and smacked into something metal. He looked up at the figure towering over him.
A robot roving on a single wheel wore a uniform similar to that of a police officer's. A glass dome went over its head. Two claws tipped off the end of his tubular arms.
"Stop!" it yelled robotically. Swindler began to run. He ran past Professor's classroom window.
Kapowski suddenly heard tapping on the window. He looked to his right and saw Swindler outside. He then looked back to the front of the room casually before realizing that Swindler being outside was not normal.
"Help!" Swindler shouted, his voice slightly muffled by the glass barrier.
He then began to run again as the robo-guard pursued him, yelling "Freeze!" in a robotic tone.
Kapowski scratched his head, wondering what he should do. He grabbed out his laptop and began hysterically typing out words and commands.
A pop-up came up on his program, saying, 'Are you sure you want to shut down all robotic defenses? All defenses will be down if you do.'
Kapowski confirmed the command.
Outside, Swindler had been caught by the robotic guard. Suddenly, the robot began to buzz and sizzle as it shorted out and fell to the ground, powerless.
"Thank you Kapowski!" Swindler shouted to the sky. He ran towards the road.
Half-an-hour later, he arrived at the video game store, tired and sweating.
"Uh, shouldn't you be in school?" the store clerk, a girl in an Eskimo suit, asked.
"Um, national holiday...you shouldn't even be working. You might want to talk to your boss about that." Swindler replied.
"Oh, all right. So, what would you like?"
"The new NES system, please!"
"That system doesn't come out for another month."
"But my friend told me that my other friend Billy worked here and could get me the system early!"
"Oh, Billy? Yeah, the manager had to let him go. He got more interested in athletics than video games, so the boss fired him. In fact, I'm his replacement."
"Billy. Was. Fired?!"
"Yeah, sorry man."
The next day, Swindler arrived at school, disappointed.
"Hey, sorry about the NES man. But hey, you can play on mine if you'd like." Kapowski offered.
"Nah, it just...wouldn't be the same." Swindler responded.
All of the sudden, the store clerk ran up to Swindler.
"Hey kid, turns out when you came in yesterday, you set off our millionth customer alarm. I just forgot to turn it on, so we never heard it. But the millionth customer gets a free NES system, so, here you go!" she said, handing him the system.
"Wow, I got it! I got it! Thanks so much!"
"No problem. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to my boss about work hours. How dare he make me work on National Penguin Awareness Day! The nerve of that guy!" she said, walking away.
"Well what do you know, you got the game system." Kapowski said.
"Yep, and it was all worth it." Swindler replied.
"Wait, we already had an episode focused on Swindler...so who is going to be character of focus?!" Kapowski asked.
~Thanks to Klemen702 for his suggestion!
Episode Twenty (Season Finale)-Austin Benches Swindler
"Woo! Go Swindler!" Snow shouted from the bleachers.
"He did it, he actually got our basketball team to regionals." Licorice said.
"You bet he did! And I got us the best seats in the house." Kapowski said.
"Yeah you did. Thanks for buying my ticket by the way, you really didn't have to." Snow said.
"No problem." Kapowski replied, blushing.
"Uh, Kapowski, I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I think you may have chosen the worst seats in the house." Blue said.
"What do you mean?"
At that moment, Nitrome Boss sat down in front of them, his round, enormous body completely blocking their view.
Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Snow saw none other than BetterthanCuboy Academy's most mischievous student, Austin Carter, sneak off, no doubt planning something nefarious.
"That's okay Kapowski, I've got to go check something out anyway." Snow said, beginning to sneak off.
"Oh, get some snacks while you're up, will you?" Licorice asked.
"Uh, sure thing."
The crowd cheered as Swindler scored another basket.
"Man, we've got to figure out how to get Nitrome Boss out of the way." Kapowski said.
Meanwhile, at the snack stand, Snow was just finishing buying snacks when she saw Austin again. She surreptitiously followed him.
Her secretive chase led her into a janitor's closet. She flicked on the light.
"I've got you now, Austin!" she called.
Suddenly, Austin's form flickered and then vanished. The door locked behind her. She tried to open it, but to no avail.
Outside the closet, Austin and Justin high-fived each other in victory.
"Who knew holograms would trick her so easily? Okay Justin, you know the plan. I'm going to go and trap Cuboy Academy's basketball coach and then get into my disguise. Then I'll bench Swindler and they'll lose the game!" Austin explained.
"Um, and what do I do?" Justin asked.
"You stand guard and make sure she doesn't escape."
"That sounds really boring."
"Shut up and eat this candy."
"Ooh, candy! Okay, I guess I'll stand guard."
"Good. See you after the game."
With that, Austin ran off to carry out his mischief.
"I won't move from this seat!!!!111 This is the best seat in the house!!!!111 It is just the right distance from the snack bar, I can see all of the action, and I won't get a nosebleed from sitting too high up!!!!!111 Now leave me alone or you'll get detention!!!111" Nitrome Boss shouted.
"Well, I guess asking him to move is out." Kapowski said.
"I told you that wouldn't work." Blue replied.
"Where's Snow? She was supposed to be back with my snacks ten minutes ago!" Licorice complained.
"Lick, I think you just gave me an idea." Kapowski said.
"You're not getting out of here, so you might as well stop ramming the door. I've got eyes like a hawk, and you're not escaping this time." Justin said.
Snow sighed. All of her attempts to escape had failed. She sat down on the floor and opened a bag of chips, unsure of what else she could do.
"So, uh, where's this piñata that looks my face?" the basketball coach asked. He and Austin were outside by the dumpsters.
"In that dumpster." Austin replied, grinning. The coach climbed inside the dumpster, quite stupidly too.
"I don't see it in here."
"Well why don't you try looking for some common sense in there, you moron!" Austin shouted, slamming the lid shut and locking it.
"I have the strange feeling that this was a trick."
Austin rolled his eyes, quite astonished at the coach's ignorance. He then ran off to get into his disguise.
"Okay, now remember, you have to make sure to keep the cheeseburger just out of his reach." Kapowski reminded. Blue stood next to him, holding a fishing rod. Dangling from the hook was a double bacon cheeseburger. Blue skillfully dangled it just above Nitrome Boss's head.
"I smell...bacon!" the obese principal exclaimed. He looked up and saw the burger. "Ooh, free snacks!"
"Okay Blue, get ready to pull it out of the--" Kapowski began. He was cut off by a loud chomp followed by a long gulp.
"Mmmmm, good thing too, I was just about to get out of my seat to get snacks at the snack stand." Nitrome Boss said.
"Noooooooooo!" Kapowski shouted. "That burger cost me five bucks."
"Aw man, my candy bar is all gone!" Justin complained. Snow was then hit with an idea.
"Hey Justin, I've got some candy. If only I wasn't stuck in here, I could give you some." she said.
The door flew open faster than a caffeinated squirrel in a washing machine.
"Give me candy!" Justin shouted. Snow punched him in the gut and took off. "Augh, it still feels like I ate too much candy though..."
"And the Cuboy Academy team has called a timeout." the announcer said.
"What is it coach?" Swindler asked.
Austin, in his disguise, completely fooled the basketball team. "Swindler, I want you on the bench for the rest of the game." he said.
"What? But we're winning!"
"Exactly. Let's give you a rest. If they catch up, I'll put you back in." Austin lied.
"Okay, if you say so." Swindler replied, taking a seat.
"Okay, Swindler's out, so...Arctic Arthur, you're in."
"Yes! I knew I'd get my chance!" the purple penguin exclaimed, hopping up from the bench.
"What? What is the coach doing?!" Kapowski shouted from the stands. "Seriously, can you tell me, because I can't see a thing."
"I think he just pulled Swindler out." Licorice replied.
"What!? Is he stupid?"
"Well, yes. He is." Blue said.
"Hey, Snow's back. About time, I'm starving!" Licorice said.
"Here are your snacks. Sorry about the delay. Anyways, I've got to go again. The coach has been replaced by an imposter and I have to go find the real one." Snow explained.
"Oh, no problem." Kapowski replied. She ran off again. "If she didn't want to hang out, she could've just said so."
Austin laughed. "I can't believe my plan is working!"
"Oh yeah?" a voice said. He whipped around.
"Dang it! That's the last time I give Justin the key!"
Snow and the real basketball coach stood there, looking most furious.
Austin sighed. "Concession stand?"
"Actually, there's something else I have for you to do this time." Snow replied.
"Get back here you little twerp!!!!111 I'll tear you limb from limb!!!!111" Nitrome Boss shouted, chasing after Austin.
"Why did Austin call him a fat-headed pug-muffin?" Blue asked.
"I don't care, all I know is that we can finally watch the game." Kapowski replied.
"Sorry I was gone the whole time you guys. I forgot that I uh...had homework to do and I wanted to try and finish it." Snow said.
"Oh, that's okay! At least we can watch it now."
"Cuboy Academy has done it! They won the regional championship!" the announcer called ecstatically.
"Wow, Swindler did it! He--huh? He's on the bench?" Licorice said.
"I guess the coach forgot to put him back in." Blue said.
"Well, I guess this is still a pretty big moment. Who knew Arctic Arthur was so good at basketball?" Snow asked.
They watched as the little purple penguin was hoisted up by his team as he triumphantly carried the trophy.
"Get back here Austin!!!!!!!!!111"
"Ahh! Why won't this candy slow him down?" Austin shouted.