This article has the first twenty episodes from Season Three of Plasmaster's 'hit' series Cuboy Academy. You can read them here to get a cool British accent, get chased by the letter O, become a horse named Lightning, get an array of fancy forks for different things, or...um, get smashed with cartoonishly large hammers? Okay, so those don't make much sense, but you can still read some of the Season Three episodes here, written by Plasmaster for your enjoyment.
You can find all of the season one episodes of Cuboy Academy here!
You can find all of the season two episodes of Cuboy Academy here!
Season Three Part Two
You can find the first twenty episodes of season three of Cuboy Academy here!
You can find more recent episodes of Cuboy Academy here!
Season Three Part One
You can read the first twenty episodes of season three of Cuboy Academy below!
Episode One-Bump, Bang, Boom!
The school bell rung and the five friends filed into their classroom.
Kapowski took a deep breath as he walked in.
"Ah, the smell of a new classroom. Don't you guys just love it?" he asked.
"Smells like freedom being stolen away." Swindler said.
"Oh come on, Swindler! School is great! At least you're kept busy when you're at school. During the summer all you do is sit around staring at a wall. It's boring."
"Dude, you wasted your summer."
"Did not! Now come on, let's choose our seats for the year. I'm sitting up front, as usual."
"And I'm sitting in the back, as usual."
"Come on man, sit up front with me and Blue!"
"I don't want to sit up front, but Rex is the one with legs, so..." Blue said.
"My research indicates that the brain is much better stimulated when positioned at the front of the classroom and therefore benefits mentally, academically, and spiritually." Rex209 said.
"See? Rex knows what she's doing." Kapowski said.
Blue groaned as Rex took a seat at the front of the classroom. Kapowski sat next to her.
"Well, while you, Blue, and Rex enjoy the mental benefits of the boring front seats, Snow, Swindler and I will be kicking it in the back seats and soaking up some extra points in the social arena! Right guys?" Licorice said.
"Um about that, Licorice..." Snow began.
"I'm going to sit up front with Kapowski. I need to get my grades up, Uncle Monty has really been strict about it lately. And besides, Kapowski and I are...you know, a thing now, so..."
"I can't believe you're bailing on me!" Licorice yelled.
"I'm not bailing on you! We'll still see each other. It's seriously like ten feet away."
"Yeah, but first it's classroom seats, then lunch tables, and pretty soon it'll ruin everything for us!"
"No, it's not like that! Tell you what, we'll hang out at the mall after school. Okay?"
"Oh, we'll hang out, but it'll be my choice of location."
"Fine, as long as it makes up for the seats. We cool?"
"Yeah, I guess."
The second bell rang and the door to the classroom closed, barring the way for any unfortunate tardy students that tried to make it in at the last second.
"I can't wait! History is one of my favorite subjects, and this year the history teacher we have is none other than--" Kapowski began.
"Good morning class, I am Mr. Nutsinbultz. I am looking forward to going on a wonderful journey through the history of the world with you all this year." a robot with a red hat said. He walked to the front of the classroom and wrote his name on the board. Kapowski raised his hand.
"Yes, young prepubescent male, do you have a question?" the robot asked.
"Yes, Mr. Nutsinbultz, I do in fact have a question. Is it true that you were a legendary bumper in the Bump Battle Royale competition of '14?" Kapowski asked. A mutter rose from the students at the mention of the competition.
"Yes, I am in fact the champion of the Bump Battle Royale competition of '14. We will cover the history of this event in chapter fourteen later this year."
"Mr. Nutsinbultz, could you tell us about your experience?" Swindler asked, suddenly interested.
"Perhaps another time, green-pigmented blobulous form."
The class erupted in protest, all wanting to hear of his experience in the famous event.
"Please, everyone, be silent. I will tell you all about my experience--"
"Yeah!" everyone cheered.
"--when we discuss the event in chapter fourteen later this year."
"Aww!" everyone whined.
"Now, please open your textbooks to page fifteen."
After school, Snow and Licorice were walking together down the street.
"I just really want to hear about it, you know? Bump Battle Royale is the biggest sporting event of the year! And he's a legend!" Snow said.
"Mhm..." Licorice replied.
"Oh come on, Lick, don't tell me you're not the least bit interested in Mr. Nutsinbultz's story!"
"I don't know, I feel like the contest-rules competition they do every year is blown way out of proportion. I like street-rules bumper battles. Which is why I've brought us here."
"What do you mean?" Snow asked. They were standing outside a wooden picket fence between two brick building complexes.
"Hop the fence." Licorice said, climbing up over the fence. Snow sighed and followed her. Once they were over the fence, Snow saw that they were in an abandoned parking lot. A small crowd was assembled in the parking lot. Four bumper cars were parked along a wall. Two of them had drivers in them and were revved up and ready to go. A white square twenty-feet-by-twenty-feet was drawn in the middle of the parking lot.
"Lick, I have a bad feeling about this..." Snow said.
"Come on, it's fine. I've been to these things before. They're fun." Licorice said, pulling Snow into the crowd.
"Hey guys, glad you could make it." Swindler greeted.
"Swindler? You're here too?" Snow asked.
"Yeah, I love watching a good Street Bump Battle!"
"You come here and bet on winners?"
"Of course not! I'm not looking to throw away good money! I just like watching. This guy is great, look!" Swindler said, pointing at the square in the middle. The two bumper cars had driven into the square and were set equidistant from each other.
Mail Bird hopped up on a podium and announced the beginning of the battle into his megaphone.
The two cars roared with energy as they drove towards each other. They slammed into each other, bouncing all around.
"Here comes the first canister!" Mail Bird announced. He tossed a glowing green canister into the arena. The two cars blasted towards the canister, each trying to get to it first. One bumper car, whose driver was a biker in a purple jumpsuit and helmet, drove over the canister first. His car glowed with green energy as he slammed into the other car. The other car spun out of the arena, crashing into a dumpster. The driver, Zapo the purple robot, jumped out and collapsed to the ground. Two penguins ran over to attend to him. The crowd cheered as the purple biker hopped out of his car and raised a fist in triumph.
"That's Ray Flipside, he's the best Street Bumper there is!" Swindler explained.
"Woohoo! Yeah! Another win for the Ray-Man!" Ray shouted. "That's right! No-one can beat me! Not even...not even Sparky Nutsinbultz could beat me!"
"Hey!" Snow shouted. The crowd's cheering died down.
"Excuse me?" Ray asked.
"Mr. Nutsinbultz is the greatest Bumper there is! He could beat you in ten seconds flat!" Snow shouted.
"Snow, what are you doing?" Licorice asked.
"Defending Mr. Nutsinbultz."
"Is that so? Well then, why don't you invite him down for a match? Let him prove he's better than me! What do you say folks? Who wants to see the Street Bumper champ go head to head with the Contest Bumper champ and settle who is best once and for all?" Ray said. The crowd cheered.
"Fine then, this Friday, Mr. Nutsinbultz will be here to put you in your place!" Snow shouted.
"What do you mean you won't do it?" Snow asked. Licorice, Snow, and Swindler were in Mr. Nutsinbultz's classroom the next day.
"I am sorry, but I am far too busy. Besides, the event's sponsor, Principal Nitrome Boss, would highly disapprove of me competing in a Street Bump Battle." Mr. Nutsinbultz said.
"But this Ray Flipside is a total jerk! He said he was better than you, and he's just a Street Bumper! What does a Street Bumper have against a professional Bumper like you?" Snow asked. "Don't you want to defend your title?"
"My title is not in danger. A claim made by a lowly street bumper will not change the fact that I am a champion competitive bumper."
"That may be, but there are people that this Street Bumper is making think otherwise. Show them that he is wrong. You said it yourself, he's just a lowly street bumper. What do you have to lose?" Snow asked.
A long silence dragged out.
"Very well. I shall come to the event."
"Yes!" Swindler cheered.
"But I will require a pit crew. My crew is in the off-season at this time. Do you have a pit crew you can supply me with?"
"My friends will be your pit crew. They'll take care of everything. You just worry about whooping Ray Flipside's sorry behind." Snow said.
At last, Friday came around, and the group met up at the abandoned lot where the battle was to take place.
A large crowd had gathered to watch the event. One half of the crowd held signs that rooted for Nutsinbultz, while the other half bore signs that cheered for Ray Flipside.
"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a very special battle for our main event! A champion bumper will go head-to-head with our very own hometown legend, Ray Flipside! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the winner of the Bump Battle Royale of '14, Sparky Nutsinbultz!" Mail Bird announced. The crowd cheered as Sparky, down in the pit, waved to the crowd. He wore a red jumpsuit and a red cap for the occasion.
"Is my car ready?" he asked.
"Yep, it's all fixed up and ready to go, Mr. Nutsinbultz!" Kapowski said.
"Yes, and let me just say that it's an honor to be working on your pit crew Mr. Nutsinbultz." Swindler said.
"Thank you for volunteering. I truly could not be doing this without your help." Mr. Nutsinbultz replied.
"And now, give it up for the Street Bumper legend, Ray Flipside!" Mail Bird announced. The crowd cheered as Ray, at the opposite side of the lot, raised his arms and climbed into his car.
"Okay, now for the moment you've all been waiting for, the main event! Nutsinbultz vs. Flipside!" Mail Bird called.
"Good luck out there!" Snow said to Nutsinbultz as he climbed into his car. He drove out into the arena and stopped at an equal distance from Ray.
"Prepare to get crushed, scrap heap!" Ray shouted over the roar of the engines. Mail Bird counted down and then the battle began.
The two cars circled each other for a while, looking for a weakness in the other's movements. Eventually Ray surged forward, ramming into Nutsinbultz. The two cars spun around wildly, each regaining their stability. They then returned to the circling game.
This time it was Nutsinbultz that attacked. His car slammed into Ray's at a high speed and then screeched to a stop, forcing Ray's car to skid away. Ray screeched to a halt and drove farther into the arena, away from the edge.
"First canister!" Mail Bird called, tossing it into the arena.
The two cars bee-lined for the canister. Unfortunately, Ray was closer and got to it first. His car glowed with green energy. He drove straight at Nutsinbultz and slammed into him. Nutsinbultz increased his speed and maintained his stability to avoid being rammed out. He returned to the center and went in for an attack. He was barely able to make Ray budge now that Ray's car was charged with energy.
"Oh no, this doesn't look good." Snow said.
"He'll think of something, I'm sure of it!" Swindler said.
"Second canister!" Mail Bird called, throwing the object into the mix.
The canister landed almost right next to Ray, and he picked it up immediately. His car now hummed and glowed with more energy. He drove at Nutsinbultz, going in for the kill.
"Wait, Sparky...wait...wait...now!" Mr. Nutsinbultz said to himself. At the last second he careened out of the incoming car's way. Ray gasped as he realized that his target was gone and he had too much acceleration. He hauled a sharp left on his steering wheel and his car flipped over, bouncing out of the arena.
"We have our winner!" Mail Bird announced. The crowd cheered. Ray climbed out of the wreckage of his car and made his way over to Nutsinbultz's pit.
"Hey, that was...a good battle out there. You've proven today that you truly are one of the greats." Ray said. He chuckled to himself. "Who knows? Maybe you'll see me in next year's competition?" He extended a hand to Nutsinbultz.
"I shall be looking forward to it." Nutsinbultz said, shaking hands with Ray.
"Wow, that was totally epic! I can't believe it! You used the extra energy he had against him! Brilliant strategy, Mr. Nutsinbultz! Wow, I can't wait to hear about your other strategies you learned. Chapter fourteen is sure to be thrilling! You will tell us about your experience, right?" Kapowski asked.
"I don't know...I believe I have found a new story to tell."
Episode Two-Senior Glitch Day
"We're on in thirty seconds!" Fluffykins called.
Kapowski adjusted his tie around his collar. He gulped nervously.
"Hey, don't worry, Kapowski. You'll do great! The morning announcements are no big deal. I'll be right next to you the whole time. Okay?" Snow said.
He nodded. "Thanks, Snow." he said.
"Everyone take your places! We're on in...five, four, three, two..." Fluffykins counted off.
The 'On Air' light on the wall flicked on and Blue turned the camera towards the desk where Kapowski and Snow sat, smiling.
"Good morning, Cuboy Academy! I am your host for this week, Kapowski Anderson, and sitting next to me is my lovely co-host--" Kapowski began.
"Snow Fox!" Snow said, picking up where Kapowski left off. "Today's lunch is cheeseburgers and onion rings. And from the school's yearbook committee, here's a reminder that picture day is next week."
"Now let's talk to Swindler Johnson for news on sports." Kapowski said. Blue swiveled the camera to look at Swindler, who stood in front of a backdrop of a football field.
"Hey there, students! The Swift Swindler here to remind you that football tryouts are after school today and girls’ volleyball tryouts are after school tomorrow. I'm sure you all know which one I'm going to...ladies!" Swindler said.
"Swindler!" Licorice shouted from off-camera. Swindler grinned and gave a thumbs-up to the camera.
"Back to you, Kapowster and Foxy!"
"Stop that!" Licorice yelled.
Blue turned the camera back to the main desk.
"Uh, one final announcement from the senior class president...senior ditch day is this Friday, so we'd better not see you here!" Kapowski announced. "Wait, ditch day? What is--"
"And that's it for today's announcements, I'm Snow Fox, wishing you all a great day!" Snow said.
"And...we're clear!" Fluffykins said. "Great job guys! Kapowski, try and stay on script."
"But...a day for ditching school? Is that allowed?" Kapowski asked.
"It's tradition. The teachers never do anything about it, so who's to stop us?" Fluffykins asked. "Besides, it's senior ditch day. For the seniors."
"Oh, well, I guess it’s not as bad as I thought...but still, you just don't even show up?"
"That's right. In fact, most of the other students don't show up either. If a quarter of the school is gone anyway, why bother showing up?"
"Yeah, and I so want to participate this year!" Swindler said.
"What? You're joking, right?" Kapowski asked.
"Nope, Licorice and I already have plans for that day. We're going to go and see a movie."
"But...aren't you worried about missing curriculum? Or your perfect attendance record?"
"Nope. Not at all."
"Blue, tell them!"
"Tell them what? Rex and I are skipping too. So is Snow." Blue said.
"Snow? You're also skipping? I don't believe it!"
"It's not a big deal, everyone else is already doing it. The teachers don't care." Snow said.
"Well, while you guys are skipping school, I'm going to be here...like a good student should!"
"Yeah...have fun with that." Swindler said.
That Friday, Kapowski arrived at the school to find it empty.
"Where is everyone?" Kapowski asked, his voice echoing off the walls.
"Gahh! Kapowski? What are you doing here?" Professor asked, nearly spilling his coffee as Kapowski entered the room.
"Um, I'm here to learn. Where is everyone else?"
"It's ditch day, you of all people should know! You announced it on the morning announcements!"
"Yeah, but...nobody showed up?"
"Nope. Just you. All the other students, like the seniors, just didn't bother showing up."
"Oh...well then why are you here?"
"I get paid to come here."
"Oh, that explains it."
A long silence dragged out.
"Well?" Kapowski asked finally.
"Well, what?" Professor asked.
"Aren't you going to begin today's lesson?"
"I don't have a lesson planned for today, I...oh, sit down. I'll think of something."
Kapowski grinned and took his seat.
"So...uh, let's see...can anyone tell me the name of the guy that did the study on the finches at that one place with the turtles?"
Kapowski raised his hand.
"Gee, who should I pick? So many eager hands in the air right now. Kapowski, why don't you take this one?" Professor suggested.
Kapowski grinned. "Charles Darwin!" he called.
"Yeah, that." Professor wrote the name on the board. "So, who can tell me what feature about the finches fascinated Darwin the most?"
"Ooh, ooh! I know this one!"
"Now, now, Kapowski. Why don't we give someone else a chance? Anyone? Anybody at all? Okay, Kapowski." Professor said, keeping up the little charade.
"Yes, those, things..." Professor wrote the answer on the board.
"Okay, now...why did the finches each have a different shaped beak?" Professor asked.
"They each ate different foods on the different islands." a voice said. Kapowski turned to see a boy wearing brown adventuring clothes and a pith helmet enter the classroom. He took a seat next to Kapowski.
"Oh, hello, who might you be?" Professor asked.
"My name is Joe. I'm a senior."
"And you're here because..."
"Are you kidding? Why would I waste my time cutting class when I could be doing something worthwhile? I heard you giving your lesson and thought that even though I already took biology, I might as well do something mentally stimulating. You are the only teacher giving a lesson right now, after all." the boy explained.
"Yes, I suppose. All right then, Joe, welcome to the...class." Professor said. "It seems you're not the only one who doesn't believe in ditch day, Kapowski."
"All right! It's cool to see I'm not alone here! Finally someone understands the importance of education!" Joe said, holding a fist out to Kapowski. They bumped fists.
Later, Kapowski and Joe sat together at a lunch table.
"See, since no-one else is here, we get to sit at the cool kids table today." Kapowski said. Joe laughed.
"I can't say I've seen you around here before. Are you new?" Kapowski asked.
"No, I've been going here for as long as I can remember...of course, I only remember half of it..."
"What do you mean?"
"It's a little fuzzy. I only remember little bits and pieces. Like I'd black out for a while. It's not important. So, you're a sophomore here?" Joe asked.
"Yeah. I'm really liking it here. I've got to tell you though, it's been crazy."
"Yeah? Tell me some of your stories."
Kapowski and Joe talked and laughed all of lunch time. After lunch, they headed to history class.
"Scrawny young male, what are you doing here? And who is this young athletic male? My database says he looks like Indiana Jones." Mr. Nutsinbultz said.
"We're here for an education, Mr. Nutsinbultz! Crack open your textbook and start teaching us stuff!" Kapowski said.
"Very well. I am actually very impressed and pleased with your decision to come to school today. It shows a high level of maturity and responsibility."
"Yeah, yeah, that's great, let's start chapter two!" Kapowski said, taking his seat.
"Okay. Chapter two..." Mr. Nutsinbultz said.
Suddenly, Joe began to shift forms and flash. Kapowski studied him with interest. For a split second, Joe's form was replaced with Fluffykins, and then it buzzed back to Joe.
"Whoa, what the--?" Kapowski said.
"What?" Joe asked.
"Uh...for a second there I thought I saw Fluffykins...you know, a senior here, he's a bunny that wears a red hat?"
"Never heard or seen of him before."
"Really? He runs the morning announcements, he's on the dance team, he ran for senior class vice president..."
"Really? For someone so active in the school you'd think I'd have heard of him before."
Suddenly Joe shifted again, and this time, Fluffykins completely replaced Joe in the classroom.
"Whoa! What...where am I?"
"You are in World History class." Mr. Nutsinbultz explained.
"How did I get here? I was just at the arcade...and then I blacked out for a second...and now I'm here!? What's going on?" Fluffykins asked.
"I'm not sure...maybe we should ask the school nurse." Kapowski said.
The two of them went to the school nurse's office. The nurse, an old geezer wearing a blue cloak and pointy wizard hat, inspected Fluffykins once they entered.
"Yes, yes, I've seen this kind of thing before. Fluffykins here is from the NES dimension." the nurse explained.
"I already knew that! My parents and I moved here years ago!" Fluffykins said. Suddenly he glitched back to being Joe. "How'd I get here?"
"When Fluffykins came to the real world, it is quite possible that his code was corrupted with a rogue file while he was being transported into the real world. That file makes him uncontrollably glitch between two forms; his regular form, and Joe here."
"Wait, so I'm not really my own person?" Joe asked. He glitched back to Fluffykins.
"I'm afraid not. But, this can be easily remedied. All I have to do is give you this special medicine that will separate the rogue file from Fluffykins' code. Then the file will manifest itself into its own body. Joe and Fluffykins will become two separate people."
"Really? That's great! Go ahead, give him the medicine!" Kapowski said.
"All righty, let me get my shot-giving thingamajig."
"Needles!? I hate needles! Ahh!" Fluffykins dashed out of the room.
"Oh great. I'll go catch him." Kapowski said. He dashed out of the room after Fluffykins.
He soon found Fluffykins hiding behind a water fountain.
"Hey Fluffykins, it's all right. It'll just be a pinch." Kapowski said.
"I'm...really scared of needles, man." Fluffykins explained.
"Well...maybe you could control your glitch?"
"What do you mean?"
"Control your glitch to switch on. Make Joe take the shot instead of you. That way, you don't have to experience it."
"That's not a bad idea...okay, let's try."
They went back to the nurse's office. Fluffykins concentrated very hard and then glitched into Joe.
"Ready?" the nurse asked.
"Yes." Joe replied. The nurse gave him the shot. Then, Joe and Fluffykins glitched away from each other, and each of them were in their own bodies.
"Wow, this is...cool! I won't black out or miss anything ever again!" Joe said.
"Thanks, Kapowski. Now I can ditch school for good." Fluffykins said, dashing out.
"Um...you're welcome?" Kapowski said.
"C'mon Kapowski, let's go make Mr. Rico make us run laps in the gym!" Joe said.
"Right behind you!" Kapowski said.
"Man, don't those two know it's ditch day?" the nurse asked to no-one in particular.
Episode Three-Flue Season!
"Austin, I don't think that's a good idea!" Justin called. He looked around nervously. "Someone is going to see us...and what if it's booby trapped?"
"Hmm...good point. You open it." Austin said, shoving Justin towards the locker. Justin gulped and grabbed the combination dial. He turned it, expecting something to happen.
"Go ahead, the combo is 16, 24, 8." Austin said.
"Huh, multiples of eight." Justin aid as he turned the dial nervously.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just hurry up. I don't want her to catch us sneaking into her locker." Austin said.
"It's opened...but there's no secret doors or panels or buttons or...or anything! It looks like a normal, average, everyday, ordinary, arbitrary, round-the-mill locker." Justin said.
"I'm confiscating your thesaurus after we're done here. Let me see...textbooks...pack of gum...pencils...I don't get it! There's got to be some sort of secret entrance to her agent lair or whatever. Where else could it be?" Austin asked.
"Maybe she puts in the combination differently?" Justin suggested.
"Justin, you're a genius!" Austin shut the locker and punched in the combination backwards. This time they heard a soft click on the wall to their left. Justin pulled open a small panel on the wall.
"This must be it." Justin said.
"Yeah, this is it. Come on, let's go!" Austin said, climbing inside.
"Uh, I'm going to stay out here."
"Yeah, I'm going to, uh, stand guard! Yeah, stand guard, that's it."
"Good thinking buddy! I'll see you when I get back." Austin said. Austin crawled deeper into the tunnel until he was soon gone from sight. Justin looked inside the tunnel, shrugged, and then walked away.
"And then I said to him that if he wants to be my partner, he'd better do a lot better than a...my locker!" Snow shouted as she and Kapowski walked around the corner.
"What's wrong?" Kapowski asked.
"Someone broke into my locker...this panel on the wall here opens if you put my combo in backwards." Snow explained.
"Oh, secret agent stuff...um, so who do you think did it?"
"Oh, I have a few ideas of who...Monty told me not to use this tunnel until further notice, not even go into the secret lab."
"He said something happened...an experiment went wrong and the whole lab was under quarantine. I hope whoever found the panel didn't go inside."
Snow closed the panel.
"What if someone did?" Kapowski asked.
"I don't know...they'd probably contract some sort of horrible disease. We need to make sure this panel stays shut. If the germ gets out, everyone could be in real trouble." Snow said.
The next day, Austin and Justin were in their secret lair at BetterthanCuboy Academy.
"What was it like?" Justin asked.
"It was amazing! It had monitors and buttons and flashing lights, and...ACHOO!" Austin said.
"Bless you. So, anything juicy on how to stop Snow?"
"No, nothing like that. I...ACHOO!"
"Are you okay? I think you might have a cold."
"Yeah...I've felt a little stuffy since I got out of the lab. It must be some sort of super-cool defense mechanism they've installed in there...like if you're not an agent you get sick because agents have had immunization or something. I'm sure it'll wear off though."
"Wow...secret agents are so cool!"
"Justin, focus! Secret agents are the enemy! Now, we...ACHOO!"
"Maybe you should go home and lie down, you don't look too good."
"I'm fine! Now, we need to find out how we can use this secret lab against...ACHOO!"
"Are you sure you're okay? Your face is turning red...and you feel really hot!" Justin said.
"I just need to..." Austin began. He staggered and fell to the ground, unconscious.
"Austin! Austin! Help! Somebody help!" Justin shouted.
"Hey, Uncle Monty, just a silly question, but what is it exactly that got loose in the lab?" Snow asked over the phone. Kapowski leaned in, eager to hear what it was. Snow pushed him away and pressed her ear to the phone. "Uh huh...yeah...deadly if untreated!? No, there's no worry, no trouble, just curious is all...okay...bye." Snow hung up her phone.
"What is it?" Kapowski asked.
"Some sort of deadly virus called the Flue."
"Um...the flu isn't deadly, it can be, but, most cases aren't."
"No, not the flu, the Flue. Spelled with an 'e'. It is a deadly virus if medical attention is not sought as soon as possible, and symptoms include sneezing, fever, fatigue, and uncontrollable muscle spasms."
"Oh, it is. I just hope no-one got sick with it. We'll have to closely monitor all visits to the nurse's office for at least the next week to ensure no-one has caught the virus."
"Should we start looking for suspects?" Kapowski asked.
"Yes, we. C'mon, let me help. I may not be an agent, but I am your boyfriend, and I want to help you out."
"Um...is it hot in here?"
Snow laughed. She kissed him on the cheek. "You're sweet. But I don't want to put you in danger. Leave the agenting to me, okay?"
"Well...if you insist."
"Help! Help!" a voice shouted. Kapowski and Snow ran out of the library to investigate.
"Justin? What's going on?" Snow asked.
"Austin...he...passed out...and he...isn't...looking too...good." Justin stammered, out of breath from running.
"Take us to him, now!" Snow demanded. Justin led them back to the secret lair behind BetterthanCuboy Academy. Austin was sprawled on the ground, his muscles flinching uncontrollably.
"What happened?" Snow asked.
"Well...okay, you've got us! Austin broke into your locker and found the secret door and went inside while I went and got a hot dog and then he got sick and started sneezing and got really hot and then he fainted and so I ran to get help!" Justin burst his confession all in one sentence.
"Great, he probably caught the Flue!" Snow shouted.
"No, not the flu, the Flue!"
"That's what I said! The flu!"
"No, no, no, not flu, Flue." Kapowski said.
"That's what I said."
"No, not flu, Flue."
"Flu is on first base?"
"Guys! Focus!" Snow interrupted. "Kapowski, I need you to run to my house and get the antidote that my Uncle Monty made."
"Running? I'll try..." Kapowski said. He fled from the secret lair.
"I don't understand, how could the flu be so horrible?" Justin asked.
"It's not...I give up." Snow said.
Kapowski returned with a test tube full of purple liquid. Snow took it and poured it into Austin's mouth. Austin coughed and sat up.
"What...what happened?" he asked.
"You got busted sneaking into the secret lab is what happened! But...I think you've already been punished enough. The antidote should have killed the germ, so we're all safe now." Snow said.
"Thank goodness." Kapowski said.
"Yeah, but this'll probably make Austin think twice about breaking into the lab again, right Austin?" Justin said.
They all laughed.
"Yeah...no." Austin said.
Episode Four-The Other Crew!
Swindler yawned, stretching his arms as he did so.
Kapowski and Blue followed suit. Soon Snow and Licorice were also yawning.
"Man, there really isn't much going on today, is there?" Blue asked.
"It seems that way, doesn't it?" Swindler replied, putting his feet up.
"Man, I got absolutely no sleep last night...I was up all night...reading...zzzzzz" Kapowski said sleepily. Snow clapped to wake him up.
"I volunteer as tribute!" Kapowski shouted upon snapping awake. "Oh, sorry, was I sleeping?"
"Yeah, you...were." Snow said drowsily. Swindler and Licorice were already sleeping soundly.
"Guys, you can't fall...asleep in...class..." Snow said. But soon she too had fallen asleep, just like the other four.
"Great, who am I supposed to talk to?" Rex asked.
Blue slapped a button on her dashboard. "Five more minutes..." he said.
"I'm not an alarm clock."
"I want to ride the pony..." Blue said dreamily in his sleep.
"Wow, those five look woofed." Hallbert said.
"Yeah, they were out partying pretty hard last night. Except for Kapowski, he was reading at home. Late." Teeno said.
"How do you know these things?" Guillermo asked.
"I'll never tell."
"That's...creepy. Never mind that. Whose party was it?" Hallbert asked.
"It was Canary's party. I was there, but went home early." Hotair answered.
"I see. Hotair, I must say your English has improved since you got here." Guillermo said.
"Pickles!" Hotair replied.
"Uh, right. So, what else is going on?"
"I just signed up for the talent show!" a muscular raccoon said.
"Oh, well that's cool. What's your talent, Paul?"
"My talent is--"
"Weight lifting." Teeno interrupted.
"I wanted to say it!"
"Weight lifting? Since when is that a talent?" Hallbert asked.
"Ever since lifting two tons became a superhuman feat of strength." Paul answered.
"Wow, can you really lift two tons?"
"Yep. And you'll see me do it live and in person tonight."
"Wow, I can't wait! That would be truly amazing!" Guillermo said.
"Did somebody say MAGIC?!" Mail Bird asked, putting on a black top hat and bowtie.
"Um...no. Nobody said magic." Hallbert said as the bell rung to dismiss them from class.
"Oh...well, would you like to see some m--oh, they're gone." Mail Bird said. He sighed and took off his hat.
Swindler fell backwards in his chair and was jolted awake.
"Gahh! What the--when did I--" Swindler fell back to sleep before he could finish speaking. Professor sat in his chair and watched them sleep.
"I would wake them up, but I think I'll give the minor characters in the series a time to shine." he said, sipping his coffee. Suddenly, his phone rang. He answered it. "Hello? Teeno? What are you...how did you know I broke the fourth wall just now? You're not even...yes, I won't do it again. Good day to you."
At lunch, the collection of minor characters were gathered at their table to eat.
"I am very much enjoying the food in this new country. What did you call this again?" Hotair asked.
"Enchiladas." Teeno answered.
Teeno rolled his eyes and bit into his apple. "So, does anyone else want to try out for the talent show? I think I'll do one of those magic acts where you read people's minds."
"Is that how you know so much about other people?" Guillermo asked, pulling his helmet on tighter as if to prevent his mind from being read.
"No, he's just nosy." Hallbert said.
"I am not!" Teeno shouted.
"Then how do you know so much?"
"That is classified information!"
"Guys, can we not argue?" Paul asked.
"Sorry..." the two of them said in unison.
"Great, because I have some awesome news. A journalist from the school newspaper is going to be at the talent show and is going to write a piece on my act!"
"Wow, that's awesome! Here's hoping you succeed and look good in the paper." Teeno said.
"Well, if you fail your stunt, then you'd look pretty dumb. And there'd be a written documentation of your failure. It's a lose-lose situation."
"Do you doubt I'll be able to do it?" Paul asked.
"Um, I didn't say that. I'm just saying it's a possibility."
"No, you were saying that you doubt me! I'll show you, I'll show you all! I'm going to lift those two tons as if they were pillowcases! You'll see!"
With that, Paul stood abruptly and stormed off. He had stood up so quickly that his chair flew across the room and became embedded in the wall.
"Remind me to never get on his bad side." Guillermo said.
"Okay. Hey Guillermo?" Hotair said.
"Don't ever get on the bad side of Paul." Hotair said.
"No, that's not what I...thank you, Hotair, for reminding me."
"Did somebody say MAGIC?!" Mail Bird asked. This time he wore a nice tuxedo along with the bowtie and top hat. He spread his wings out and playing cards flew out of his sleeves in a fantastic display.
"No, nobody said...actually, yes, we did say magic. But we said it like two minutes ago. You're late." Hallbert said.
"But...I had to get my tux on!" Mail Bird said. "Oh, no matter, I can still show you a trick, right?"
"Actually, there's the bell, so lunch is over and we have to go." Guillermo replied.
The four of them left the cafeteria and went to their next class.
Mail Bird looked at the school bell with scorn.
"You're ruining my act!" he shouted.
That day, after school, the four friends gathered in the audience of the talent show.
"I thought you were going to do a mind-reading act." Hallbert said.
"I decided not to. Turns out there was already a magic act in the show." Teeno responded.
They took their seats as the curtain opened.
"Yes, welcome everyone to tonight's Cuboy Academy Talent Show! I am pleased to announce tonight's first act, the Snazzy Suit Boys Dance Crew, consisting of Fluffykins Bunny, Joe Blastman, and Arctic Arthur!" Professor announced. The trio of dancers came out onto the stage wearing dazzling suits that were covered in glitter and sequins.
"When does Paul go out on stage?" Guillermo asked.
"It looks like he will be the fifth and final act." Hotair said, looking at the program pamphlet.
Two dance routines, one singing act, and one stand-up comedy act later, Paul came out onto the stage.
"For my act, I need a volunteer." Paul announced.
"A volunteer? I thought he was going to lift two tons." Hallbert said.
Teeno shrugged. "Maybe he decided to change his act?"
Several eager hands were up in the air, hoping they would be picked as a volunteer.
"Principal Nitrome Boss! Come on up!" Paul said.
"What? I didn't volunteer!" Nitrome Boss retorted.
"Yeah, but I figured you'd want some attention. Come on up here!"
"Very well..." Nitrome Boss grumbled. He lumbered up onto the stage.
"Please take a seat on this stool." Paul said. He indicated a stool that sat on a bathroom weight scale in the center of the stage.
"Okay..." Nitrome Boss sat down on the stool. As he sat down, the numbers on the weight scale skyrocketed. The numbers on the scale were broadcasted on a television screen mounted above the stage. Astoundingly, the numbers read four thousand, two hundred and eleven pounds.
Hallbert's eyes widened. Teeno gasped. Guillermo nearly passed out. They all realized what Paul was about to do.
Paul gripped one leg of the stool in one hand and slowly lifted it up off the floor. He soon held the stool, with Nitrome Boss on top, over his head in one hand.
The crowd exploded into applause.
"I don't believe it..." Guillermo said.
"He...he--he just did that!" Teeno blurted. Paul set the stool back down and took a bow.
"I must say that that was an astounding performance and a great end to a great show! Good night everybody!" Professor announced. The crowd cleared out surprisingly fast.
Mail Bird scampered out onto the stage.
"I'm ready!" he called. His voice echoed through the empty room.
"Oh, come on!"
Episode Five-A Wrench in the Works!
"Swindler, I don't think this is a good idea!" Kapowski cried out.
"Ah, cool your jets man. It's all good." Swindler assured him. The two of them, along with Rex and Blue, were rummaging through the school's basement.
"The basement has been on high security ever since Peanuts left. I don't want to get in trouble."
"It's fine. The guards are on their lunch break right now." Blue said.
"Oh, well, I guess that makes me feel a little better..."
"Aha! Got it!" Swindler cheered.
"What were you looking for?" Blue asked.
"My old phone got confiscated last year. It had all of my contacts on it, so I did a little digging and found out that all of the confiscated phones are kept down here. Now that I have it back, I can plug in all of my old contacts into my new phone." Swindler explained.
"Why not just keep the old phone?" Kapowski asked.
"Are you kidding? The iTouchy 3.0 is WAY better than this old hunk of junk! C'mon, let's get out of here, I don't want the rats to find us."
"Ha-ha, just joking."
"Oh, ha, you really gave me a scare there, Swindler."
Several loud squeaks came from behind them.
"Ahhh!" Kapowski yelped, running away from the sound.
Blue laughed. "I couldn't help it! Rex has an audio file of rats squeaking and I've been waiting to use it!"
"Rats!" Kapowski shouted. "Whoaa!" A crash came from the back of the room.
"Oh boy, let's go check on him." Swindler said.
They ran to investigate the commotion.
"Hey Kapowski, you okay?" Blue asked.
"Yeah, I'm all right. Hey, what's that?" Kapowski replied. He pointed at a rusty, old, brown robot that stood idly in the corner. "It was under this tarp that I accidently pulled off when I tripped. I wonder what it is."
"It looks like some old junky radio. I wonder if it still works." Swindler said. "Hey, here's a switch!" Swindler flicked the switch up. The robot's eyes blinked on with green light. It creaked and screeched noisily as it moved its old rusty parts.
"Hey there, buddy, what's going on?" Swindler asked the robot.
"I am Rusty." the robot replied.
"Well, that much is obvious. But what's your name, stranger?" Blue asked.
"I just told you. My name is Rusty."
"What were you doing down here?" Kapowski asked.
"I was a hall monitor at this facility until I was eventually boxed away and switched off. My timer indicates I have been in standby mode for seventeen years."
"Wow, that's a long time. Why don't you come upstairs with us and meet the students of the modern world?"
"Yes, I would very much like that."
They led the robot upstairs out of the basement.
"Now that I am back to full power I can become a hall monitor again." Rusty said.
"Um, while you might be working okay, you might want a few...upgrades, and a clean-up for sure." Swindler said.
They took Rusty to the locker room where they scrubbed him clean, replaced his old parts, and gave him several upgrades.
"There! Now you look good as new!" Kapowski said.
"Thank you for upgrading me. Now that I have been upgraded, I can do my job as a hall monitor even better." Rusty said.
The next day, Kapowski, Blue, and Swindler were sitting in science class.
"Have you seen Rusty?" Kapowski asked.
"Yeah, he was in the halls. I don't know, he seems a little bossy. One kid was tardy to class, so Rusty electrocuted him!" Swindler said.
"Did you really have to give him a Taser upgrade?" Kapowski asked Blue.
"It was Rex's idea!" Blue protested. Suddenly, Principal Nitrome Boss came on the PA system and called the three boys to his office.
"What were you three thinking?" Principal Nitrome Boss shouted once they had arrived.
"It was Rex's idea!" Blue shouted.
"Will you stop that? What do you mean Principal Nitrome Boss?" Kapowski asked.
"I'm talking about the hall monitor, Rusty! Why would you bring him up here? He was decommissioned years ago after the incident with the tank!" Nitrome Boss yelled.
"Tank?" Blue asked.
"Yes, tank. I'm telling you, that robot is dysfunctional, that's why we switched him off! At least he was never equipped with any weapons, that's be a real issue."
"We may have given Rusty a few upgrades..." Kapowski confessed.
"Upgrades!? What kind of upgrades?"
Before they could answer, the door to the office was blasted open by a large explosion. Rusty walked in, a rocket launcher mounted on his shoulder.
"Hello again, Principal Nitrome Boss. Are you ready for immediate eradication as revenge for switching me off?" Rusty asked.
"Ahhh! Get that thing away from me! Security!" Nitrome Boss called into a walkie-talkie. Several robots rolled into the room and attempted to apprehend Rusty. Rusty blasted them all down with laser cannons.
"Rusty! Stop! Don't do this!" Kapowski shouted.
"No. Principal Nitrome Boss must pay for what he did." Rusty said. "Step aside or I will fire upon you."
"Uh...okay." Kapowski stepped aside.
"Kapowski!" Blue shouted.
"What? I don't want to get vaporized!"
"Somebody do something!" Nitrome Boss squealed in fear.
Rusty took aim at Nitrome Boss with a ray gun.
"Stop right there!" a voice shouted. They all whipped around to see Billy standing in the doorway.
"Billy?! What are you doing here?" Swindler asked.
"Helping you guys out!"
"If I could laugh out loud I would be doing so in immense proportions right now. You can not possibly stop me, not with all of these upgrades and weapons that I have. I am unstop--"
"Bucket of water!"
Billy threw a bucket of water on Rusty, making him short out. Rusty buzzed and sputtered and then thudded to the floor, harmless.
A long silence dragged out. Blue was the one who broke the silence.
"Well that was easy."
Episode Six-Picture Day Predicament!
Kapowski combed his hair until it looked neat and handsome.
"There, now I'm ready for my picture! How are you and Swindler doing, Blue?"
"I'm doing just fine. How's my hair?" Blue asked.
"Um, Blue, you don't have any hair."
""An enzyme can dream, Kapowski!" Blue snapped back.
"Okay, sorry. Swindler, are you ready for your picture?"
"You know it man! I can never take a bad photo." Swindler replied.
"That makes one of us. I have never been able to take a photo that hasn't looked totally humiliating. I'm hoping to turn that around this year."
"Good luck to you!"
"Thanks! I'm going to go check on Snow, she's been in the bathroom for twenty minutes!"
Kapowski knocked lightly on the door to the girl's bathroom.
"Uh, Snow? You doing all right?" Kapowski asked.
"No! I'm doing all wrong! I can never take my picture looking like this!" Snow replied through the door.
"Let me go help her." Licorice said, walking in.
"Snow, whatever it is, it can't be that bad. You're a pretty girl! You have nothing to worry about. Now come on out of the stall and we'll deal with this to--holy Mount Nevereverest! That's a big zit!" Licorice cried out.
"Is it really that bad?" Snow asked.
"Um, well, besides being the size of a humpback whale..."
"But it's okay! Nothing a little zit cream won't fix." Licorice said.
"Oh thank goodness! So, where's the zit cream?"
"The zit cream that you brought, where is it?"
"Um, I'm made of ice cream. I don't get zits, so I never have zit cream. I don't need it."
"But you are always prepared for a cosmetic emergency!"
"Cosmetics...you just gave me an idea."
"Holy Land of Carrots! That zit is--" Blue began when he saw the zit.
"I know, the size of a humpback whale." Snow said.
"Actually, I was going to say it looks greener than a green enzyme. Why do you need me for this? I feel really uncomfortable in the girl's bathroom."
"Well, Rex is a girl, and you're inside Rex, so--"
"Okay, never say that again. Let me guess, you want me to work my cosmetic magic?"
"Yep." Licorice said.
"All right, let's see what I can do..."
Meanwhile, Kapowski and Swindler were getting in line to take their picture.
"I hope Snow is okay." Kapowski said.
"Ah, she'll be fine. I'd be more worried about the Picture Prankster." Swindler responded.
"Yeah, each year the Picture Prankster picks one student and pranks them while they're having their picture taken. They usually pick the most neat and nice looking person, so its more humiliating."
"Oh no, I'm the neatest and nicest-looking!"
Swindler laughed. "Right..."
"The Picture Prankster is going to ruin my picture!"
"Don't worry about it, Kapowski! I made it all up just to give you a little scare."
"Oh...ha-ha, oh man, you uh, you really had me there, Swindler. Ha-ha. Phew! That was scary."
"Ha-ha, man I really got you! Hey, you're next in line."
Kapowski walked over to the stool that sat in front of the blue backdrop. He sat down on it and faced the camera.
"Okay, say cheese!" Professor said. Kapowski smiled and Professor snapped the picture. "Man, no-one ever says 'cheese' these days. Next thing you know people will stop saying things are 'swell' and start calling things 'sick' instead!"
"Um...okay. Thanks Professor." Kapowski said. "Wow, my picture actually turned out great!"
Swindler was next. He made his way to the stool and sat down on it. His mouth dropped open in disbelief as he heard the whoopee cushion he just sat on. Everyone in line giggled.
"Say cheese!" Professor said.
"Cheese?" Swindler replied. Just as Professor was snapping the picture, a pie flew into Swindler's face.
A purple bird wearing kohl eyeliner and a purple striped hat leapt out from behind the backdrop.
"Ha! You just got pranked by me, Jypt, the Picture Prankster! This year I decided to prank the first person to say 'cheese' for their picture, and you are the lucky guy! Enjoy having an embarrassing picture in the yearbook, sucker!" the bird sneered. He then flew away, leaving Swindler sitting in the chair, shocked.
"Uh...Swindler? I think the Picture Prankster was real after all." Kapowski said. Swindler fell out of the stool, still silent and shocked. Kapowski dragged him away.
"Okay...done!" Blue said.
"How do I look?" Snow asked.
"Like a clown." Licorice said.
"Lick!" Snow shouted.
"Sorry, but it's true."
"Yeah, I had to use a LOT of makeup to cover that zit up. Sorry Snow." Blue said.
"Can't we just borrow zit cream from someone else? Snow asked, wiping the makeup off with a towel.
"Of course! Why didn't I think of that! Blue and I will go and find someone with zit cream and we'll be right back." Licorice said.
"Actually, I have to get ready for my picture." Blue said.
"What do you need to do?"
"I need to get some follicle stimulants."
"Okay...don't worry Snow, I'll get you that zit cream."
Kapowski and Swindler were looking at their pictures.
"Well, at least the pie tin covers your face, so no-one can really tell it’s you in the picture." Kapowski said.
"I don't get it! I made up the Picture Prankster!" Swindler said.
"Kind of ironic isn't it?"
Licorice returned to the bathroom with zit cream.
"Here you go, Snow!." Licorice said.
"Oh, Lick, this is a gift from heaven! Thank you!" Snow said as she applied the zit cream.
"No problem. Also, it's fast-acting zit cream, so it should knock that thing out right away!"
"Great! It worked! Now I can go and take my picture."
The two girls got their pictures taken and met up with Kapowski and Swindler.
"Hey guys, how did your pictures turn out?" Snow asked.
"Great!" Kapowski said.
"Humiliating." Swindler replied.
"Great! So, has Blue gone yet?" Licorice asked.
"Not yet. Here he comes now." Kapowski said. "Hey Blue, ready for your picture?"
Blue turned around to reveal that he now had long, flowing, brown locks of hair.
"How do I look?" Blue asked.
Episode Seven-When Agencies Collide!
"Please!" Kapowski said.
"I don't know..." Snow responded.
"I really shouldn't..."
Snow sighed. "Fine, you can come on a mission with me."
"Yay! It's the perfect chance to test out my new invention."
"I don't know if your food replicator will be much help."
"No, not that! My gloves! These gloves can scale any flat surface and can also be super-charged with energy to enhance combat maneuvers."
"It helps you climb things and fight stuff."
"Oh, cool! Those will probably come in handy then."
"Great! So, what are we going to do?"
"Oh, well, I have to wait for Uncle Monty to call and give me my mission. It'll probably involve stopping Austin from ruining the school's reputation." Snow explained.
"Don't worry, there will still be fighting. You can punch Justin in the face."
"But...I like Justin...he's a cool guy!"
"Well I'm going to need somebody to keep him off my back. He's trouble." Snow said.
"Then I shall punch his face thoroughly." Kapowski said.
"Punch whose face?" Swindler asked as the other four friends joined the couple.
"Oh, uh...Blue's face!" Kapowski shouted.
"What'd I do to you?" Blue asked.
"Nothing, Blue. We were just wondering that since you're a sort of liquidy-enzyme substance that if you would be able to feel the pain if we were to do that." Snow said quickly.
"Oh...I don't know actually. Rex, pop open the hood, I want to try this out."
Rex opened the cockpit to expose Blue.
"Okay Kapowski, let me have it!"
"Um...no thanks Blue. I changed my mind." Kapowski said.
"Oh come on!"
"I'll do it!" Swindler called out, thrusting his fist into Blue's face.
Blue let out a muffled cry. Swindler removed his fist.
"What'd you say?" Swindler asked.
"I said 'Ow! That hurts!'" Blue replied.
"Oh. Well, now we know for sure, right?"
Suddenly Snow's phone rang.
"Oh, I've got to take this, be right back! Come on Kapowski!" she said, dragging Kapowski away.
"Okay, so let's solve another mystery! How does Licorice dry her hair after a shower if she can't use a hairdryer because the heat would melt her?" Swindler asked.
"I'm not answering that." Licorice said.
Meanwhile, Snow and Kapowski were in the library discussing their plan of action.
"Loud noises have been coming from the basement. Monty thinks Austin is behind it. So we're going to check it out." Snow explained.
"Okay, I'm ready to go. I have my gloves on and everything. So, do we get to play cool spy music while we do this?" Kapowski asked.
"Oh...okay. Onward to victory!"
The duo went into the basement to begin their mission.
"So, what kinds of noises are they?" Kapowski asked. A loud crash and then a growl came to him in answer.
"Get down. That didn't sound like Austin..." Snow said, pulling Kapowski behind a storage bin. They peeked around it to see a large, hulking figure lumbering through the room. It barreled through objects and growled as it did so. It was soon gone from their sight.
"What was that thing?" Kapowski asked.
"I don't know, but I get the feeling that Austin isn't behind this after all." Snow said. They continued to journey through the basement, now more cautious for signs of that large monster.
"I hear more noises, get down." Kapowski whispered. They hid behind a storage shelf and watched as not one but two of the large shadowy figures shuffled through the room and growled. The two monsters soon left.
"This is crazy...we should go get some help." Kapowski said.
"No, we need to stick to the mission. We're going deeper in." Snow said. Kapowski gulped.
They kept going through the vast basement. Soon they heard a muffled cry, followed by a voice telling the cry to stop. They stopped dead in their tracks, fearful.
"Is there someone else down here?" Kapowski asked.
"I don't know." Snow said.
"I'll give us some light." Kapowski said. He switched his gloves on and they glowed with green light, illuminating some of the area around them.
"Let's keep moving, maybe there is someone down here who can tell us what's going on." Snow said. A few steps ahead the couple felt something cold and hard press against their chests. They looked up, and in the dim light they could just make out the person in front of them. A man wearing a green uniform with a tall green hat and an eye patch stood there. He held a strange weapon and had the barrel of it pointed at them.
"Identify yourselves or I will fire." the man said in a British accent.
Kapowski gulped nervously.
"I am Agent Snow Fox of the Cuboy Agency. This is my partner, Kapowski Anderson. We are here investigating strange occurrences in the basement of this school. May we ask who you might be?" Snow said in the most calm and steady way she could.
The British soldier lowered his weapon.
"I am Dirk Valentine, agent of Queen Victoria's Secret Spy Network. It is good to see that other agents are investigating this case. It's going to be quite a rough one." he said.
"What do you know so far?"
"Right now all I know is that my prisoner is the one that unleashed those monsters that have been lumbering around down here. However, I don't know what the monsters are yet. Thankfully I haven't yet seen them up close."
"Prisoner?" Kapowski asked.
The muffled cry came again, this time sounding closer.
"Shut up!" Dirk shouted to a figure next to him. The figure sat on the ground. Kapowski moved closer to see who it was in the light from his gloves.
"Austin!?" Snow and Kapowski cried in unison. Austin said something back to them, but being bound and gagged kept them from understanding him.
"You know this troublemaker?" Dirk asked.
"Yeah, he's the cause of most of my cases, but...how could he be behind this? Those monsters are huge!" Snow said.
Kapowski removed the gag from Austin.
"I've been trying to tell you guys, but Mister Bludgeon-me-with-a-cannon here had me gagged before I could explain it to him!" Austin shouted.
"What happened?" Kapowski asked.
"I was using a Charomat to make some Blamos, but I put the code in wrong and before I knew it, the machine was cranking out two gigantic trolls."
"Trolls?" Snow asked.
"Yeah. I managed to shut it off before it could make any more, but two were made by the Charomat by that point. The green one swallowed Justin whole! I managed to hide, but then Valentine's Day here knocked me out cold."
"What? How was I supposed to know you weren't some criminal mastermind!?" Dirk said.
"I am!" Austin replied.
"He really isn't, it usually takes me like ten minutes tops to foil his plans." Snow said.
"Hey, does anyone else feel like all of this talking loudly and out in the open with these lights giving away our location might attract the trolls to us?" Kapowski asked.
"I hadn't considered that..." Dirk said. They were silent for a few moments.
"So what do we do now?" Kapowski asked.
"Run!" Austin shouted, bolting away. Dirk quickly turned and fired his cannon at Austin, entangling his legs in a chain.
"You're not getting away that easily!" Dirk yelled.
"I'm not running from you, you idiot! I'm running from the--"
"Trolls!" Snow shouted, pulling Kapowski as she ran away.
Dirk turned to see the two giant trolls looming over him.
"Oh, for crying out loud! What in the Queen's name are those things?" Dirk asked.
"Trolls!" Austin shouted.
The green troll opened its mouth.
"Look out! He's going to eat you!" Austin yelled.
Instead, the green troll launched something out of its mouth and sent it slamming into Dirk, sending them across the floor.
"Is that...is that Justin?" Snow asked.
"Ooh..." Justin moaned.
"Justin! You're alive!" Austin said.
"Yeah, but I feel really sick..." Justin said.
"Let's take these things out together!" Dirk said, reloading his cannon. He aimed at the blue troll and fired his cannon, launching a spherical projectile of metal at his target. The blue troll swallowed the metal projectile and then spewed it back at Dirk. Dirk dove out of the way.
Snow shot the blue troll with her sleep dart gun, but the single dart had little effect on the massive troll. She continued to fire darts at it in hopes of at least slowing it down.
Kapowski charged in and punched the green troll with his energized glove. The green troll toppled backwards and fell. Without any arms to help itself back up, the troll was stuck on it back.
"Ha-ha! You got one! I am buying you a cup of tea after this, friend!" Dirk said.
The blue troll was filled with sleep darts and it soon collapsed.
"All right, we did it!" Snow said.
"Great work! I'll be taking these Trolls back to the Agency now. Don't you worry about a thing." Dirk said.
"Thanks Agent Valentine." Snow said.
"No, thank you both! We should all go out for tea time some time!"
"Definitely." Snow and Kapowski said together.
Later that day, Snow and Kapowski were at the lunch table discussing the day's events.
"So Kapowski, did you enjoy coming on the mission with me?" Snow asked.
"Yeah, it was cool. I don't know if all of that is for me though." Kapowski said.
"That's okay. That was awesome how you took out that troll."
"Yeah, I knocked him down with one punch!" Kapowski said.
"Knocked who down with one punch?" Swindler asked as the others joined them at the lunch table.
Episode Eight-Sweet Dreams
"Ahh! Huh? Where am I?" Swindler said upon waking up. He looked all around him. He was in a bright room with light gray walls and floors.
Fluttering through the room were flocks of white doves.
"Doves? That's weird..." Swindler said to himself. He started walking through the room. He soon went through a door to find a bed inside.
"A bed? What's going on here?"
"I couldn't tell you my good friend." a turquoise-colored, cube-shaped person said. He wore a black fedora on his head.
"Who are you?" Swindler asked.
"Oh, I'm Phil." he replied.
"Well...what are you doing here?"
"Oh, nothing, but that's okay. I'm not even here right now."
Suddenly, Phil vanished into thin air.
"What the--what is happening? Weird stuff like this only ever happens when I'm...oh! I'm dreaming! Ha-ha! That explains it!" Swindler said.
The doves flocked around him and then fluttered onto the bed.
"Lie down? Well, why not? It is a dream, after all, I can do what I want...in fact, I can fly if I want to! Wheee!" Swindler said as he flew into the air.
Two doves looked at each other and chirped to each other. My Dove Language is a little rusty, but here is what they said:
"Ugh, someone as easily distracted as him is going to be hard to get to lie down on this bed." one dove said.
"Yeah, that's true, but if we don't do what Master said, we won't get bread crumbs tonight!" said the other.
"Now, let's get him to lie down on this bed so that he'll be trapped here forever in an endless loop banana."
Oops, mistranslation...it was 'dream' that he said, not 'banana'. Sorry...
Anyways, Swindler continued to fly through the air, oblivious to the bird's evil plan.
Meanwhile, in a dark room, Kapowski was struggling with a mysterious stranger in a trench coat.
"Ahh! Let go of me!" Kapowski shouted.
"Sorry kid, but I can't do that. I've been given specific instructions to make sure you kids don't get in the way of certain future events. It's just business." the stranger said as he shackled Kapowski to a strange device.
"Who told you to do this? What future events? What are you talking about?" Kapowski shouted.
"That's classified, kid. Good night!" the stranger said. The stranger pulled a helmet with an odd visor on the front onto Kapowski's head. Kapowski stopped struggling and immediately fell asleep.
"Ahh! Huh? Where am I?" Kapowski asked. He looked around him to see doves fluttering around, but other than that, there was no-one else in sight.
"I've got to find a way out of here. That guy is up to no good...something big is going on and I'm going to find out what!" Kapowski said.
"Woohoo!" a voice whooped.
"Swindler?" Kapowski said, running towards the voice.
"Yeah! This is awesome!"
Kapowski entered another room. A bed sat in the middle of the room and a flock of doves sat on it. Swindler was soaring through the air.
"Swindler!" Kapowski called.
"Huh? Kapowski! Great to see you, man! Of course, you're not actually here considering this is a dream, but..." Swindler said, landing by Kapowski.
"No Swindler, this isn't a dream! It's a hallucination induced by a device designed to keep us both in captivity so that some maniacal guy in a trench coat can do his evil-doings without us interfering! Though I'm confused as to why he'd be concerned about us interfering, we're just regular students, but..."
"Say all that again, I wasn't listening."
"Augh! Bad guy put us in machine that make us see crazy things so he can do bad stuff!" Kapowski yelled, dumbing it down for Swindler.
"So, I definitely shouldn't do anything stupid that might get us trapped here forever, right?"
"Got it. In that case, I'll just lie down on this bed. That way I won't touch anything bad."
The birds flew off the bed and chirped excitedly.
"Hmm...Swindler, don't touch the bed. I think there's something about these doves...I think they want you to lie down on the bed for some reason." Kapowski said.
"What do you mean?" Swindler asked in reply.
"I think they might be in cahoots with the trench coat man."
"Say that again, I don't know what cahoots means."
"Ugh! Doves work with bad guy to do bad things!"
The birds squawked angrily at them. They dove at the two boys and began to peck them.
"Ahhh! Yeah, they're definitely evil!" Swindler shouted over the squawking.
"Swindler, if we do get trapped in here forever, I want you to know that you have been an awesome friend!"
The two were silent for a bit.
"What, nothing about me?" Kapowski asked.
Elsewhere, the man in the trench coat was laughing maniacally in a diabolical, evil fashion. And...that sentence was totally redundant.
Anyways, he was evilly laughing when the door to his evil lair was launched off of its hinges.
"Blue! You don't have to blast the doors off of everything!" Licorice scolded as they entered the room.
"That time it was Rex, not me!" Blue said in protest.
"Says the guy at the control panel." Snow retorted. "Anyways, the tracking device leads into here. It's strange, don't you think? Kapowski would never miss a class! Especially on Cheeseburger Thurs..." Snow suddenly became aware of the man in the trench coat, who stood watching their exchange in confusion.
The room was silent for a bit.
"Sup." Blue said.
The silence continued.
"You, uh...um...how are things?" Blue asked.
"Uh, I don't really know what to do." the man said.
"Hey! There's Kapowski! And Swindler too! What are you up to Mister, uh, Trench Coat Guy!" Snow said.
"Wouldn't you like to know!" the stranger replied. He opened his trench coat and a flock of doves flew out and assaulted the trio of teens.
"Ahh! I don't think this guy is up to any good!" Blue shouted. He started blasting the doves away with proton blasts. Licorice froze several of the doves while Snow karate-chopped them away.
"No! My doves!" the stranger cried. Snow ran over to him and leapt forward to drop kick him full in the chest. He toppled over, unconscious.
"Let's disconnect them from this machine." Licorice said. They freed Kapowski and Swindler from the device.
"Thanks guys, I was afraid we'd be trapped in there forever!" Kapowski said.
"Why did this guy capture you anyway?" Blue asked.
"I don't know, but it’s obvious he was planning something. But I'd rather forget all about it."
"Sounds good to me. Those doves pecking me will scar me for life! So many...feathers!" Swindler said.
"Let's get out of here." Snow said.
They left the room, leaving the trench coat guy as well.
He came to at the sound of his phone ringing.
"Did you apprehend all six of them?" the voice asked when he picked it up.
"No...the other four arrived and freed the two I had gotten. Don't worry though, I'll--"
"I've heard enough. You've failed, and now I'm moving on to Plan T."
"Plan T? How many times have you tried this?"
"Shut up! The point is I'm not giving up. They must not be allowed to interfere. I have big plans coming, Mr. Dove. Big plans!"
Episode Nine-Ch-ch-chiseling Away
"I've only made it to level 6 though, I can't seem to get past the Demon Warlord." Blue said.
"Oh, that guy is easy. What you need to do is put Enchantress at the front of your team and use the Entanglement spell to keep him immobile. Then you just finish him off with Warlock's Arcane Orb attack." Kapowski replied.
"I haven't learned that move yet."
"Then you need to go into your spell book and select that spell to learn it. You forgot to check your spell book after you leveled up, didn't you?"
"Yes, I did! I need to make a habit of checking that after each level-up."
"You guys talking about that new RPG that came out?" Snow asked.
"Um, yes, how did you know?" Kapowski asked.
"Well, since we started dating, I got a little more into video games. I just got the game yesterday."
"That's great! Maybe we can--"
"Hey guys, the cool kids are here, so time to stop talking about nerd-stuff." Swindler said as he and Licorice approached them in the hallway.
"Hey! Warlock Quest is not--"
"Boring! Let's talk about something else. Like the news! Did you guys hear about the escaped convict from that intergalactic prison?"
"Come on Swindler, you made that up." Blue said.
"Did not! Look, it's in the newspaper."
"The news-what?" Kapowski asked.
"Wow...this is...revolutionary! News, printed on paper...it's simply astounding! What a brilliant idea!" Snow said, flipping through Swindler's newspaper.
"Ugh, you kids and your Book-faces and your Me-tubes." Swindler said.
"So, what about this convict?"
"Oh yeah, they say he escaped in an escape pod aboard the prison."
"Well Swindler, that's what escape pods are for." Licorice said.
"Shush! Let me finish! They say that the escape pod was hurtling towards our area. The police are on the look-out all over the place for any signs of the crashed escape pod."
"Why don't escape pods ever have landing gears?" Kapowski asked.
"Wait, the police are all focused on that one guy!? That means I can rob a bank like I've always wanted to!" Blue said. The others stared at him in disbelief.
"What? You think all of this hardware Rex has is really being put to its full potential by going to school? Ha! Right..."
"Blue, robbing a bank is illegal." Snow said.
"What? Here too? Why does every country have a law against this?" Blue asked.
"Anyways, they're going to have a lock-down drill today to make sure that we are all reminded of the procedure in case of an unauthorized intrusion." Swindler explained.
"They have authorized intrusions?"
"You know what I mean!"
The bell rung and they all went to class.
Right where they were standing mere seconds ago, a small portion of the floor caved in and a robot with a drill on his head popped out.
"Time to get to work!" he shouted.
Licorice was walking to the bathroom when she saw the robot.
"Hey!" she shouted.
"Uh oh..." the robot said.
She walked over to him. "Are you new?"
"Huh? Oh, um, yes! I am new to this school! Could you show me around? Particularly where the cheese is?"
"Um, I don't know where the cheese is, but I can show you around I guess."
"Yes, let's go."
"So what's your name?"
"I am Chiseler."
"Cool, I'm Licorice. Come on, first stop, the bathroom!"
"Why do you need to show me where the bathroom is?"
"I don't, I just have to go..."
Later, at lunchtime, Licorice invited Chiseler to sit with the others. The others watched skeptically as Chiseler wolfed down his food.
"Ooh, cheese! I like cheese..." Chiseler said, eating a slice of cheese.
"Swindler, you know who that is, right?" Kapowski asked in a hushed voice.
"Escaped convict?" Swindler replied quietly.
"Yep. The picture in the...um, paper for news matches exactly."
"It's a newspaper!" Swindler shouted.
"Oh, the paper! Can I take a look?" Chiseler asked.
"Um, no!" Kapowski yelled.
"Uh, this is...my lunch!" Kapowski replied.
"Okay, then eat it."
"Eat your lunch."
"Oh, right." Kapowski responded nervously. He ripped a piece off the paper and put it in his mouth. He chewed it slowly. Blue and Swindler shook their heads in disbelief.
Kapowski swallowed with great difficulty. "Yum." Kapowski said unenthusiastically.
"You were right, he is the weird one." Chiseler said to Licorice. "Well, I got to run."
"From who!?" Swindler interrogated.
"Um, no one. It's just an expression."
"Um, okay. Bye." Chiseler said as he left.
"Swindler, we've got to call the police and alert them." Kapowski said.
"I totally agree man. I'll call them, you go catch the wanted criminal that is possible extremely dangerous."
"Did you not just hear yourself? He'd bury me alive! Have you see the size of that drill?"
"Bring Blue and Rex with you."
"Funny how an enzyme in a super-powerful mechsuit armed to the teeth can make everything better." Blue said.
"Come on!" Kapowski said. Swindler dialed the police department on his cell phone.
"What's going on?" Licorice asked. Snow shrugged.
"There he is! Get him!" Kapowski shouted.
"Huh? What's going on?" Chiseler asked.
"You're busted, that's what! Time for you to go back to the intergalactic prison!" Kapowski shouted.
"What? Guys, you misunderstand. My dad is the escaped convict, not me!"
"Yeah! The only reason he escaped was so he could come and see his little boy again. He's out fixing the escape pod now to return to the prison."
"There he is! Get him!" a voice yelled. Chiseler was suddenly tackled by several police officers.
"Wait! No! Stop!" Blue yelled.
The police officers ignored them as they escorted Chiseler away. Kapowski's eyes were wide and his mouth was dropped open in shock. Swindler ran over to them.
"Hey guys, I called the police!"
The two of them were silent.
Episode Ten-Hall Monitor Show-Down
"Ugh, I hate school assemblies, I could be finishing next week's project right now!" Kapowski said.
"Um, it isn't due until next week." Licorice reminded him.
"I know, but by working ahead I'll be able to spend next week working on the stuff for two weeks from now!"
"Sorry, too many numbers and the word 'weak'. Wait, that's just like you!"
Kapowski grumbled unhappily.
"Shush! Principal Nitrome Boss is about to speak." Swindler said.
"Ahem, yes, good morning miserable delinquents! Today I have gathered you here to show you our latest technology!" Nitrome Boss announced into the microphone.
"Oh no, another complicated technology to make our lives harder. Remember that ID card system that required you to have your ID card scanned every time you wanted to buy lunch? Those scanning lasers were a bit too powerful..."
"Our new-and-improved hall monitors!"
"What?!" the group said all at once.
"These new robotic hall monitors are programmed to function in a manner similar to a real hall monitor, but with a greater sense of duty, responsibility, and discipline! First, let's meet an old friend; he used to be a piece of malfunctioning junk, but with our new programming software we have restores him to a safer state of use. Introducing, Rusty!"
The brown and rusted robot was revealed as a tarp was pulled off of him.
"Please, everyone, contain your excitement."
"It isn't excitement, it's disbelief..." Blue mumbled.
"Now, introducing our new flying hall monitor, Verde!"
A green robot was revealed from underneath another tarp. The robot hovered in place in the air.
"And finally, our hall monitor charging base, Homer!"
The final tarp was cast off to reveal a cylindrical grey robot sitting in the middle of the floor.
"Homer is the home base of the hall monitors. It is where they go to charge up, log information such as incidents, traffic flow, and speed limits in the halls. They can also communicate wirelessly with Homer to temporarily gain access to special abilities that allow them to deal with hallway incidents."
"Actually, that's kind of cool." Kapowski admitted.
"Cool? It's a recipe for a robotic takeover! A supercomputer that can control robotic units and grant them special super powers?" Blue said.
"Oh...I see what you mean."
"That is all for our assembly, you may return to class now." Principal Nitrome Boss said.
In the hallway later, the flying robot, Verde, floated over to them.
"Please be on your way to your next class." Verde said in a robotic monotone voice.
"Um, we're right outside our classroom and still have two minutes until class." Swindler said.
"Then I will have to ask authorization for a special action."
"Oh no, he's going to blow us up! Or electrocute us! Or smash our faces in with cartoonishly large hammers!" Blue cried.
"Special action granted. Preparing action..."
Suddenly, a thin slot opened up on Verde and a paper slip slid out. Snow took the slip.
"It's just a warning slip...it says we should immediately go to class and be sure not to let it happen again or a notice will be sent home to our parents."
"Oh...my bad, I have bad experiences with robot hall monitors...sorry." Blue said.
"Let's just go to class; the bell is about to ring anyway." Licorice said. They all went inside the classroom.
"Uh, sorry about the whole misunderstanding Verde; it won't happen again!" Blue said.
Verde turned and looked at him with a glaring red light in his singular bionic eye.
"Just be sure you keep your mouth shut. We can not have you ruining our plans." Verde said.
"GO TO CLASS!"
Later at lunch, Blue was telling the others what had happened.
"Blue, I think your fear may be getting to you. Verde is a robot; he can't express anger." Snow said.
"I don't know Snow, our past experience with Rusty proves otherwise; I think we made need to look into this." Kapowski said.
"Well, all right. But we'll need to be sneaky; if Verde or Rusty catches us in the halls, we're toast. We need to get to the control hub; Homer. He's stationed in the gym and is the only one of the robots that can't move, so he should be easy to hack into to find out what is going on with the other robots."
"Good plan. Blue, we'll need Rex's cloaking device for this."
"I'm in. Let's get to the bottom of this."
During fifth period, they all feigned the need to go to the bathroom, claiming it was an emergency. Once they were out, they met in the library.
"All right Blue, do your thing." Swindler said.
"Blue has nothing to do with it; it is my technology that creates the cloaking field." Rex said.
"Sorry about that Rex."
Rex set the cloaking device around them.
"We have ten minutes before it turns off, so we must move quickly."
They set out towards the gym.
"There is Rusty. It's a good thing he can't see us." Blue said.
"Actually, I can see you. My infrared vision can make out your heat signatures perfectly." The four of you must return to class immediately."
"Four?" Swindler said.
"I don't have a heat signature." Licorice explained.
"Wait...is that you Blue, Kapowski, and Swindler? Thank goodness I have found you; someone hacked into the Homer unit and used it to reprogram the robot hall monitor units. The hacker did not realize that instead of corrupting me with his own software, he instead broke my contact with the Homer unit, returning my software to its original settings." Rusty explained.
"So...you're the Rusty we met in episode five?" Kapowski asked.
"Yes, and you should not break the fourth wall."
"Sorry. So, why are you telling us all of this?"
"I am telling you this because I need your help to shut down Homer. He is the source of the hacker's software and is corrupting the Verde unit."
"Then we should hurry." Swindler said.
They moved as quickly as they could to the gym.
They soon reached the gym and ran over to the Homer unit.
"All right, I'm going to hack in there to give the other hacker the boot before resetting the Homer unit to its original settings." Snow said.
"But if you do that, the hacker could get back in. You should install some security software to prevent him from getting back in." Rex said.
"Ah, good call Rex."
"Halt!" a robotic voice called. They all looked up to see Verde enter the room. He blasted a laser beam at the floor in front of them. "That was a warning shot. Return to class and I will not fire upon you."
"Screw that!" Swindler shouted, throwing a basketball at the green robot. The ball bounced off the robot harmlessly. Verde fired a laser at Swindler.
Blue tackled Swindler to the ground to dodge the laser.
"Thanks, Blue!" Swindler said.
"Thank me later, look out!" Blue replied.
Verde was aiming at them again. Suddenly, Rusty shot a jolt of electricity at Verde, shorting him out.
"Okay! Homer is back and now newly improved!" Snow said.
"Great work. Now go back to class." Rusty said.
They all laughed.
"No, seriously, go back to class."
Episode Eleven-Coiled Around His Little Finger
"Got to catch 'em all!!! NMDFanfictionMon!" Swindler sang.
"Huh, I take it back Swindler, you do know the entire NMDFanfictionMon theme song. Sorry I doubted you." Kapowski said.
"I'm not; give me my five bucks!"
Kapowski sighed and handed Swindler the money.
"Wait...what time is it?" Blue asked.
"Um...one-fifty-six. Almost time for dismissal!" Kapowski cheered.
"Oh no! I have only four minutes!"
"Four minutes to do what?" Snow asked.
"To give my permission slip to Mr. Nutsinbultz for the field trip to the Space Museum! They are opening an exhibit on the S.S. Squeakstar!"
"Oh yeah, I remember now...and, you have three minutes now." Kapowski said.
"Ahhhh! Rex, run!"
Rex dashed away as fast as her legs could carry her.
"Wait. I probably should have gotten inside her first...Rex! Wait up!" Blue called as he raced off.
"Blue needs to learn how to manage his time better. Maybe I could help him." Snow said.
"Please, it's just one incident. Blue does not have a time management problem." Licorice said.
"I wouldn't say that. This morning he brought breakfast in with him to school, and during the Pledge of Allegiance I found his face in his bowl of food-pill cereal. And then when it was time to turn in his homework, he was rushing to complete it last-minute. He needs some help." Kapowski said.
"Well, the bell is about to ring, shall we make our way to the bus loop now?" Swindler asked.
"You guys go ahead; I'm going to wait for Blue." Snow said.
"All right, but don't blame us when you miss the bus!" Licorice said as they walked off.
Blue and Rex returned just as the bell rang.
"We...made...it." Blue stammered between deep breaths.
"Yes, with precisely two-point-six-four seconds remaining." Rex added.
"Hey, we still...got it there...in time." Blue said.
"Come on, we've got to catch the bus." Snow said.
"Okay...hanks for waiting for me."
"No problem. Tomorrow I'll start you on a course in time management."
"Oh, uh, no...that's okay. I think I just need to get more sleep. My alarm goes off at the weirdest times during the night, so I don't get much sleep. More sleep is all I need, then I will be able to focus."
"Well, all right, but if that doesn't work just let me know and I'll help you out, okay?"
They got on the bus and went on their way home.
That night, Swindler was sleeping over at Blue's house.
"Thanks for letting me sleep over tonight, Blue." Swindler said.
"No problem! That's what friends are for!" Blue replied.
"Friends are for providing a place to sleep while my house is getting fumigated?"
"All right you boys, get to bed. You need to be focused and alert for school tomorrow." Professor said.
"Okay. Good night, Professor." Swindler said.
"Good night Swindler."
"Good night dad!" Blue said.
"Good night, Blue."
"Sweet dreams, Professor." Rex said.
"To you as well, Rex." With that, the Professor left.
The three of them fell asleep. At about midnight, Blue's alarm blared very loudly.
Swindler covered his ears. "Turn it off!" he shouted.
Blue switched the alarm off. He rubbed his eyes.
"Ugh, I don't understand; I made sure that my alarm was set to the right time this time." Blue said.
"What do you mean 'this time'?" Swindler asked.
"This has been going on all week. I can't get any sleep; that's why I'm so rushed and unfocused at school."
"Well something tells me this is going to be a long night."
The alarm went off six more times later that night, with Rex sleeping through each one.
The next morning, the two boys were very tired.
"Whoa, Blue, you look terrible!" Snow said.
"Swindler, what's wrong with your face?" Licorice asked.
"They're dark circles, from lack of sleep." Kapowski came out of the bathroom.
"Hey guys, I was--ahhhh! You guys look terri-I mean, um, good, you look good, you're looking great in fact." Kapowski said.
"We know we look like total wrecks. Blue's alarm kept malfunctioning last night and we can't get any sleep because of it."
"Rex looks fine though." Licorice pointed out.
"Yeah, because as long as Rex remains plugged into her charging station, she doesn't need to be asleep." Blue explained.
"So, are you ready for that time management course now?" Snow asked.
"No, I need to just get a new alarm." Blue replied.
"Well, maybe I could fix it Blue!" Kapowski offered.
"Nah, that's all right."
"Blue, you need to find a way to fix this! You'll save money if you let Kapowski fix it opposed to buying a new alarm anyway." Swindler said.
"All right, fine." Blue said.
That night, they were all gathered at Blue's house. Kapowski was tinkering with Blue's alarm clock.
"Arggh! This is one stubborn system; all it does when I try to fix it is--" Kapowski was interrupted by a loud blaring alarm. He switched it off. "--that!"
"Maybe we should just smash it!" Swindler said, taking out a baseball bat.
"Wha!? Where'd you get that?" Snow asked.
"Oh, this? I never leave home without my lucky baseball bat!"
"Um, where do you keep it?"
"I will not answer that question."
"Can we get back to business? Swindler, smash the darned thing." Blue commanded.
"Woohoo! Smashing time!"
"No!" a voice called out.
"What was that?" Licorice asked.
Suddenly, a long blue worm with electricity surging through it slithered out from the alarm clock.
"What the heck is that thing?" Blue asked.
"I am Coil." the worm said.
"Okay, Coil, I'd like to ask you something; why have you been glitching my alarm clock!?" Blue shouted.
"Your alarm clock? This is my...wait, this isn't my house!"
"Uh, duh!" Licorice said.
"Sorry, I thought this was my house; I sleep in electrical devices you see, and when I sleep, my electric charge weakens and I have to wake up every two hours to recharge. I had to keep resetting it because someone kept messing with it...but I guess I was the one messing with someone else's alarm clock. Sorry about that."
"That's all right, Coil. Maybe we could walk you home?" Snow offered.
"No, that's all right, I can find my own way home." Coil replied.
"Well, all right."
The next day, Blue was looking refreshed and alert.
"Looking good, Blue! Looks like sleep deprivation was your problem after all." Snow admitted.
"Yeah, that's what I told you!" Blue shouted.
"Whoa, you're a little cranky." Swindler said.
"No, I'm just hangry. I couldn't eat my food-pill breakfast this morning."
"I need to microwave them."
"Don't you have a microwave?" Snow asked.
"Yes, but apparently Coil can't find his own way home; now he's sleeping in my microwave!"
Episode Twelve-Nightmare Night
"No...no! Please...ahhhhhh!" Kapowski screamed, sitting up in bed. A cold sweat drenched his face. He sighed. "Thank goodness, it was only a nightmare."
"That's right! It was only me!" a voice said.
"Yeah, it was only...wait, what!? Ahhh!" Kapowski yelled as he saw the dark creature standing beside his bed.
"Who are you?" Kapowski asked.
"I am your Nightmare. Everyone has them, but some of them are more vivid then others, allowing them to be seen. Like me." the creature said.
"Well...go away! I never asked for you to be here."
"I can't go away, not until you lose your fear."
"Pfft, I don't have any fears..."
"Oh but you do, we both know you do."
"Yeah, right...this is all just another dream. And when I wake up, you'll be gone."
"Why does everyone tell themselves that? It's getting unoriginal, really, I hear it too often. Whatever you say, see you in the morning!"
That morning at school, Kapowski met with the others by the lockers.
"Hey guys." Kapowski said in greeting.
"What the heck is that!?" Blue shouted, pointing behind Kapowski.
"Oh, that's my Nightmare. Though I don't know why he's here!"
"I'm here because your fear won't leave you until you lose it." the Nightmare said.
"Aw, what are you afraid of Kapowski?" Snow asked.
"Nothing! This guy doesn't know what he is talking about. I am not afraid of anything!" Kapowski said.
"Boo!" Swindler boomed.
"Ahh!" Kapowski screamed, jumping up in fear. "Not funny Swindler!"
"I thought it was funny." Swindler said.
"Ha-ha! The look on his face! Do it again, do it again!" Licorice cheered.
"Look, Kapowski, whatever it is you're afraid of, we'll help you conquer it." Blue said.
"I'm not afraid!" Kapowski said.
"Sure..." the others said in unison.
Later in history class, Snow tapped Kapowski on the shoulder.
"Hey, Kapowski." she said.
"What!? Is it something I did?" he asked.
"Huh? No, I was just going to say that whatever it is you're afraid of, you can tell me, okay?"
"Oh, yeah, thanks Snow." Kapowski replied. Snow kissed him on the cheek.
"Miss Fox, please keep your eyes forward. You will want to have knowledge of this information about the Triclopian War." Mr. Nutsinbultz said.
Snow nodded and started to pay attention.
At lunch, Kapowski was looking around nervously.
"Hey Kapowski, what's up?" Swindler asked.
"Well, I'm a bit unnerved actually. Have any of you guys noticed that the school is getting crowded all of the sudden?" Kapowski asked.
"Yeah, peoples' Nightmares have been popping up all over. They're everywhere!" Licorice said. She turned to a Nightmare next to her. "Go away! I am not afraid of melting and then going down a bathtub drain! Out!"
"How do we get rid of them?"
"I told you, you need to face your fears and conquer them." the Nightmare said.
"Ugh, how many times do I have to tell you I'm not afraid of anything?"
"Until you stop lying to yourself and face facts that you are afraid of something. Everyone is scared of something."
"What do you want? For me to admit that I'm afraid? That I'm afraid of getting dumped by Snow? Is that what you wanted to hear?"
"Oh, Kapowski, I can't believe that was what you were afraid of. You know I like you, and we aren't breaking up anytime soon, let me assure you of that." Snow said.
Kapowski smiled. "Thanks Snow. I guess I really needed to hear that, but was too afraid to say anything."
"And now that someone around here has admitted their fear, me and my army of Nightmares can transform into all of your fears!" the Nightmare shouted. He turned into a doppelganger of Snow and smiled evilly.
All around the lunch room, Nightmares were morphing into everyone's fears.
Zapo teleported away as a vampire appeared in front of him.
Licorice screamed and dashed away from the bathtub that had manifested.
Nitrome Boss was being chased by a floating letter 'O', screaming "No! Don't crush me!"
"Ahh! Green!" Blue yelled. A green enzyme tackled him to the ground.
"What do we do?" Swindler asked.
"I know! We've got to take on each other's fear, then we can defeat them!" Snow said.
Swindler grabbed a chair and smashed the bathtub.
"That's one down, let's take care of the rest!"
Snow fired a sleep dart at the vampire, making the monster drowsy until it finally fell asleep.
Rex blasted the green enzyme off of Blue.
"You could have obliterated me!" Blue shouted.
"Yes, I could have, but I didn't." Rex responded. Blue hopped inside of Rex.
"We'll talk about that later."
Canary cut the floating 'O' in half with his laser cannon.
All around the cafeteria, students defeated each other's fears.
"I think that was the last of them." Licorice said.
"I'm glad it's all over. I'm afraid that would happen again though." Blue said.
A Nightmare appeared next to him.
"Did someone say...afraid?"
Episode Thirteen-A Blue Christmas
"Remember, the party starts at six, don't be late!" Blue called after Canary.
"Hey Blue, what's up?" Snow asked as the others approached him.
"There you guys are! I want to invite you to the awesome Christmas party I'm having this weekend!"
"Oh cool! When is it?" Swindler asked.
"It starts at six, and guess what? This week we're doing drawings for a 'Secret Santa' gift exchange and then we are all going to exchange the gifts at the party! Isn't that great!?"
"That sounds like a lot of fun Blue! Should I bring some cookies?" Snow asked.
"Um...that's okay Snow, I'd prefer Kapowski to bring in the goodies."
"What? But...I'm a great cook! I cut the cookies into reindeer shapes and everything!"
"Why would we want to eat something shaped like a reindeer? How do you think that makes Santa feel?"
"Uh, right. Anyways, see you at the party, Blue!" Kapowski said.
"Yeah, you too! Oh! Make sure you bring something yummy!"
Kapowski left, with Snow following along behind him, looking quite hurt about Blue's last comment.
"Blue, what did you mean about Santa?" Swindler asked.
"Well, I just think eating cookies shaped like reindeer will make Santa think you're naughty. He's always watching, you know." Blue replied.
"Blue, you know there is no such thing as Santa, right? That's kid stuff. He isn't real." Licorice said.
"Oh yeah? Well then who leaves the presents under the tree?"
"Who eats the cookies and drinks the milk?"
"Who leaves all those footprints on the top of the house?"
"Your dad...wait, what?"
"Okay, so maybe I made up that last one but...it can't be true! Santa has got to be real! Tell them Rex!"
"After a quick search of all reliable Internet sources I have concluded that Santa is indeed nonexistent. The persona of Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nick or Kris Kringle, originated in--" Rex explained.
"No! I can't believe this! I'll prove he is real! You'll see! You'll all see!"
Blue squirmed around until he was facing backwards in Rex's cockpit and attempted to move forward.
"Rex, can you turn around and walk away? I want to make an angry and dramatic exit." Blue said.
"Oh, sorry." Rex said, turning around and walking away.
"Well, I guess we'll see you at the party then!" Swindler called.
Later that day, at lunch, the friends were beginning the drawings for the Secret Santa Gift Exchange.
"I have finished drawing!" Rex said, producing a detailed caricature of Kapowski.
"It isn't that kind of drawing, Rex." Licorice explained.
"That picture is pretty good though, can I have it?" Kapowski asked.
"Enough of that, let's get to the drawings!" Blue said. He shook up a big bowl full of slips of paper and then placed it on the table.
"Okay Swindler, you get to go first." Blue said.
Swindler took out a slip.
"All right, I got--" Swindler began.
"It's a Secret Santa, Swindler, you can't tell them who your gift is for until the party." Snow said.
"Oh, right. Ha-ha." Swindler laughed nervously.
Canary and Sorbet got their slips, and then it was Kapowski's turn.
"Oh boy, I hope I get Snow." he whispered to himself as he drew out the card. "What? Not her!" he thought silently to himself.
"Okay, okay, move along Kapowski. Next person." Blue said.
Kapowski walked over to Snow.
"Snow, I--" he began.
"Kapowski, you can't tell me what you're going to get me." she reminded.
"No, no, it isn't that, it's...I didn't get you. I pulled Licorice."
"I know, right! I don't know anything about Licorice! What am I going to get for the prissy girl who has a dad made of money?"
"He's made of ice cream."
"It's an expression! Ugh, I don't know what to get her..."
"I'll talk to you about it later, okay? It's my turn to go up."
After Snow drew her card, Blue declared the bowl was empty and that he'd be looking forward to seeing everyone at the party.
That night, Blue was up late, researching.
"Blue, you've been up all night researching. What are you doing?" Rex asked.
"Blup bloop blorp." Blue replied.
"Put your headband on."
Blue grabbed his translator headband and put it on his head.
"I said I'm researching Santa." he said.
"What is so important about this 'Santa'?" Rex asked.
"He's...the embodiment of giving and joy and good will towards men!"
"Wow, that was deep."
"Not really, I just read it here on the computer screen. But it's true! He really is all those things! How can...how can Christmas be the same without him? I see Swindler and Licorice, who say they outgrew Santa, and they still seem to be enjoying Christmas just fine...what does it mean?"
"I can't say for sure. Perhaps they realized that those things--giving and joy and good will towards men--already exist on their own. That they already exist in the excitement of seeing presents under the tree that morning. That they already exist in the warm glow of a blazing yule log as loved ones share hot cocoa. That they already exist in these small moments, even without the idea of Santa Claus."
"Wow Rex, that was deep."
"I read it online."
"Of course...though I understand what you mean. Maybe...maybe I'm missing the big picture?"
"Perhaps. Though there is nothing wrong with believing in Santa Claus. It's an essential part of childhood nowadays."
"Read that online too?"
Blue smiled and started to cry. He hugged Rex and said a silent thank you.
"Now, do you feel better?" Rex asked.
Blue sniffed and nodded.
"Good. Now can we please go to bed!?"
The next day, Kapowski and Snow were out shopping for the gist exchange that was to take place later that night.
"I just don't know what to get for her...it's my own fault you know. I haven't spent enough time with her. I've always felt uncomfortable around her. You know what I mean?" Kapowski asked.
"Dude, I don't know and I don't care. Can I got back to my job now?" the store clerk asked.
"Hmmph. Fine. I'll just cross you off the list of people for me to confide in..." Kapowski mumbled to himself.
"Hey, I found this great pair of sunglasses! Swindler likes sunglasses, right?" Snow asked.
"Yeah, but he really likes shiny things...like this watch." Kapowski said, grabbing a watch off of a shelf.
"Ooh! Yes, I can totally see Swindler in that. Thanks Kapowski!"
"Wait, wait! You just gave me an idea. You're Lick's best friend, you can just tell me what she wants!"
"So, what does she want for Christmas?"
"Well, back in October, she saw this pair of...no, she already bought those...ooh! Last week, she saw this adorable dress and...no, wait, that's my Christmas gift for her...ooh! This one time we went to an amusement park and--"
"She saw a stuffed animal she liked?"
"No, she really liked the park...now that I think about it, her dad already bought that for her."
"An amusement park!? Augh! What am I going to do? She already has everything, what could she possibly want!?"
"Sorry, I don't think I can help you there."
On their way out of the store, they passed a pink, cube-shaped guy dressed in a Santa hat and ringing a little bell. Kapowski dropped five dollars into the little bowl sitting next to the man.
"Thanks guy, I'll put in a good word for ya with the big man, all right?" the man said, winking.
"Oh, uh, yeah, thanks." Kapowski replied.
That night, at the party, everyone was enjoying hot chocolate and cookies.
"Okay everyone, time to exchange the gifts and reveal who your Secret Santa is!" Blue announced. "Up first is Swindler!"
Swindler stepped forward with a present cradled in his arms. "Here you go, buddy." he said as he handed Kapowski the gift.
"Oh, thanks man!" Kapowski replied.
Canary was up next, so while he presented his gift, Kapowski conversed with Snow.
"Snow, I still don't have a gift for Lick, what am I going to do?"
"Give her yours?" Snow suggested. "Sorry, at this point, I'm out of ideas. You need a miracle."
"Kapowski, it's your turn." Blue said.
"Oh uh, well...my gift is for..."
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
"Kapowski, would you mind getting that? I can't get up...I ate too many cookies. They were really good by the way." Blue said. Kapowski went to answer the door.
"It may surprise you to know, Blue, that I actually made those cookies." Snow said.
"Yep. I decided to cut them into gingerbread man shapes instead of reindeers."
"But...they tasted too good!"
Snow smiled smugly.
"Yes, can I help you?" Kapowski asked, opening the door. There stood the man from the mall, now wearing a Santa beard in addition to the hat.
"Just came by because a little birdie told me you could use a gift." the man replied, holding out a box for Kapowski.
"Oh, um, wow! I don't know what to say, I--"
"Merry Christmas!" the man said, running back down the driveway.
"That was strange..." Kapowski said, closing the door.
"Kapowski, is that the gift for your Secret Santa exchange?" Blue asked.
"Yes, um, it is! Here you go, Licorice!"
"Aw! For me? Thanks!" Licorice opened it up to be greeted with a wet, pink tongue and a little yapping ball of fur.
Licorice gasped. "A puppy!"
"Awwwwww!" everyone said.
"Snow, how did you do that?" Kapowski whispered.
"Do what?" Snow asked.
"You know, how did you get the Santa guy from the mall to bring a puppy to give to Licorice?"
"What? But if you didn't, who did?"
"You don't think..."
Blue suddenly hopped off the couch and rushed to the window, peering outside.
A squadron of flying reindeer towing a sleigh flew across the night sky.
"Merry Christmas!" a jolly voice called from the sleigh.
"I knew he was real." Blue breathed.
Episode Fourteen-Fourth Wall Broken
It was the last day before winter vacation, and everyone at Cuboy Academy was excited for the break to begin.
"Oh man, it's been forever since we had a break from school!" Swindler said.
"We just had a break for Thanksgiving though." Kapowski said.
"Ugh, don't remind me, it seems like forever ago!"
"Honestly, I love winter break, but I'd really like to get my homework done."
"We don't have any homework over break."
"I know, I'm talking about the homework after the break! I'm already working ahead, I might as well get it done."
"Ugh, stop talking, you're boring me to death."
It was quite well known around the school that Kapowski was hard-working, but many students around the school found him quite boring.
"What!? I am not boring!" Kapowski said.
Huh? You're not supposed to address me! I'm the narrator!
"Yeah well maybe you should just narrate the story then instead of calling me boring!"
I didn't mean anything by it, I was merely stating the facts! Ask anyone around your school.
"Maybe I will! Hey random guy, do you think I'm boring?"
"Yes." replied the random guy.
"Yeah well...he doesn't count! He's just some random dude!"
Listen I didn't mean to offend you by saying you were boring, it was just that--
"No, no, you listen to me! I'm not going to take this from some guy that doesn't even get his own quotation marks! Seriously, this is--"
"Kapowski, stop arguing! You're breaking the fourth wall too much!" Swindler warned.
Meanwhile, in the Nitrome Fan Fiction Wiki Office Building...
"I don't know, don't you think you're being a bit too hard on Kapowski by writing that?" AustinCarter4Ever asked.
"Well, it isn't my own personal view on Kapowski, it's just how the other characters view him." Plasmaster replied.
"And what's with all of the arguing with the narrator? That seems a bit weird." Klemen702 said.
"I agree. A little joke about the fourth wall here or there is okay, but an outright disregard of it like that? It seems a bit too much." The Mysterious user said.
"It's just the way I wrote it...I don't know, maybe you're right. I'll just get rid of it." Plasmaster said. He went to hit the 'delete' button, when suddenly, his computer screen flashed purple.
"Holy Carter! What's going on?" AustinCarter4Ever asked.
"I don't know!" Plasmaster shouted. Suddenly the computer screen sucked the six of them into it.
"Ahh! What is that!?" Swindler shouted, pointing at a purple portal that opened out of nowhere. Suddenly, six strange creatures were thrown out of the portal.
"Who...what are they?" Kapowski asked.
They all picked themselves up off the floor and brushed themselves off.
"Hey, wait a minute, that's AustinCarter4Ever, remember, from episode nine of season one?" Kapowski said. Suddenly, another portal opened above them and a microwave fell on top of Swindler.
"Stop breaking the fourth wall! It's causing all sorts of anomalies in the space-time continuum! At least, that's what I think is happening..." Swindler said.
"Yeah, I think that is what is going on." Test Subject Fan said.
"Um, okay, question, why is Blue in his old protosuit and why did he just come out of that portal?" Kapowski asked.
"I'm not Blue, I'm Test Subject Fan!"
"We are the editors of the Nitrome Fan Fiction Wiki. We were suddenly sucked in here when I wrote a story in which you broke the fourth wall too much." Plasmaster explained.
"Oh...so that's why you shouldn't break the fourth wall!"
"I told you it wasn't good." The Mysterious user said.
"Yes, yes, I know. Okay, we just have to figure out a way to get back to the real world." Plasmaster said.
"Hmm..." Klemen702 hummed.
"Maybe we could break the fourth wall again and then jump through the portal that shows up?" Random-Storykeeper suggested.
"No, we don't know where in Carter we could end up if we did that." AustinCarter4Ever said.
"Hmm..." Klemen702 hummed.
"Maybe we could use the power of wishful thinking?" Test Subject Fan suggested.
"Are you kidding? How realistic is that?" Swindler asked.
"Hmm..." Klemen702 hummed.
"Klem, do you have an idea?" Random-Storykeeper asked.
"Huh? No, I just like humming." Klemen702 replied.
"C'mon guys, we can think of something..." Plasmaster said.
"I know! Let's ask that random guy!" Kapowski said.
They all rushed to find the random guy from earlier, and they soon found him in the cafeteria.
"Hey random guy, can you help us out? I broke the fourth wall too much and so these guys from another dimension appeared here and we need to help them get home." Kapowski explained.
"Okay." the random guy said. He was a short, little brown guy wearing face paint and had a red feather on his headband.
"Really? You believe that crazy story just like that?"
"Yeah, I've seen some weird stuff. Anyways, what you're going to want to do is take this magic pan flute and play the song of the Fourth Wall. Then you guys just hop through the portal and you're on your way home."
"Oh, it's that simple? Thanks!"
"Wait! Before I give you this pan flute, I want you to tell me what my name is. And no help from those guys! I'm not just some random guy, I'm not just some face in the crowd. Now I want you to tell me what my name is."
"Hmm..." Klemen702 hummed.
"It's...it's Onekey right? We had the same teacher in fourth grade."
"Yeah, that's right! We were really good friends then...I was hoping maybe we could..."
"Yeah okay, thanks for the pan flute, bye!" Swindler said, snatching the pan flute. They all ran away.
"I just want to be your friend!" Onekey called after them.
AustinCarter4Ever ran back and gave him a hug.
"Thanks, I needed that."
"No problem. Bye random guy!" she said.
"So, does anyone know how to play a pan flute?" The Mysterious user asked.
Everyone was shaking their heads.
"Does anyone know the song of the Fourth Wall?" Random-Storykeeper asked.
"I do! I've been humming it the whole time!" Klemen702 said.
"Oh okay, all we have to do now is play it on this pan flute." Plasmaster said.
"Just put the pan flute up to my lips and I'll just hum the song again, maybe that will work."
So they did just that. Klemen702 played the song and the portal opened.
"Yay!" they all cheered.
"Thanks for helping us get back home." Test Subject Fan said.
"Yeah and I think we all learned a valuable lesson." Kapowski said.
Nobody said anything.
"You know, don't break the fourth wall?"
"Oh! Yeah, that's...yeah, okay." everyone murmured in agreement.
The editors of Nitrome Fan Fiction Wiki all jumped through the portal and were back in the office.
"It's good to be back. Now let's all get away from this computer before it does something else." Klemen702 said.
"Well, there is one thing left to do, actually." Plasmaster said, clicking 'Publish'.
Episode Fifteen-Enter the Entourages
"C'mon Kapowski, please!" Licorice pleaded.
"No." Kapowski replied, crossing his arms to show his resolve.
"No." Kapowski repeated, turning his back to her.
"Pretty please with a cherry on top!"
"Well...I do like cherries...what am I saying!? No!"
"Oh come on!"
"What's going on?" Swindler asked as he, Blue, and Snow arrived.
"You! This is your fault!" Kapowski shouted, pointing accusingly at Swindler.
"What did I do?"
"You told her about middle school!"
"Told her about middle sc--oh! Ha-ha, yeah, I kind of did..."
"Why? You know I vowed to never go back to that again!"
"Go back to what?" Rex209 asked.
"Oh yeah, Rex wasn't finished being built until Blue started high school. Well, you see Rex, back in our middle school years, before Licorice moved to town, Kapowski was--" Swindler began.
"Don't you dare tell her!" Kapowski shouted.
"Okay, I'll tell her. Back in middle school, Kapowski was the popular one in the group. He was the coolest guy! If you were having a party, it was only an awesome party if Kapowski was there. Or should I say, 'Coolpowski'?" Blue said.
"I told you I would never be Coolpowski again! Sure, it was fun being the cool kid, but I have different focuses now. My grades and school record would suffer greatly if I ever reverted back to being Coolpowski."
"Then why is Licorice bothering you?" Snow asked.
"She is throwing a party this weekend and wants Coolpowski to be there!"
"Yeah! Party with Coolpowski guys! Woohoo!" Blue cheered.
"No! I'm not doing it!"
"Come on Kapowski, it'll just be for one night, on a weekend! Just being Coolpowski once at a party won't affect your school life." Swindler said.
"I guess you have a point there..." Kapowski admitted.
"Yay!" Blue cheered.
"All right, I'll do it."
"Yes! This will be my most amazing party yet!" Licorice said.
The next Monday, everyone was still buzzing about the epic party, particularly Kapowski's party animal nature.
"Man, and when you chugged that entire bottle of soda? Oh, that had me going!" Swindler said.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm glad you enjoyed it, because I'm never doing it again." Kapowski said.
"What? Didn't you have fun being Coolpowski again? Don't you want to keep doing it?"
"Yeah, it was fun, but my schoolwork is too important to risk it being ruined by my Coolpowski alter ego."
"Don't worry Kapowski, we understand. Here, have a soda." Blue said.
"Oh, thanks Blue." Kapowski replied. He chugged down the soda and crushed the can on his head. Swindler's eyes widened in surprise.
"What?" Kapowski asked.
"Y-you just..." Swindler stammered.
"What? Do I have a soda-moustache?" Kapowski asked, his hand going towards his upper lip.
"No, not that, it's...Coolpowski!"
"What about him?"
"He's rubbed off into your regular life!"
"No, that's impossible."
Suddenly, Blue burped. "Excuse me." he said.
"Ha-ha, that was a good one, Blue, but try and beat this!" Kapowski said, releasing a loud belch. Blue burst out into laughter.
"Ahhh! There he is again!" Swindler cried.
"What is your problem, Swindler?"
"Yeah, Swindler. There's nothing wrong with Kapowski, except that he's cooler now. Of course, no matter how cool Kapowski gets, he'd never be cooler than me." Blue said.
"No way dude, Coolpowski is cooler than you are." Swindler said.
"That is not true! I'll prove it to you! Let's go show how cool I am Rex!" Blue said.
"All right, I guess we're leaving now." Rex209 said, turning around and walking off with Blue.
"I'm telling you, Coolpowski is taking over the normal you! I should have listened to you..." Swindler said.
"Everything is fine, Swindler. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go study for my history test." Kapowski said.
Swindler sighed with relief. "Maybe I was wrong..."
"Just kidding! Popular people don't study! Ha-ha! Laugh with me Swindler, I'm popular; people around me are supposed to follow my lead, right? Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha!"
"Ha-ha...ha-ha-ha-ha..." Swindler laughed nervously, feeling extremely awkward in his current situation. "Got to go! Bye!"
"Wait! Who's going to listen to me talk about myself?" Kapowski called.
Swindler continued running down the hall, until he eventually slammed straight into Licorice and Snow as he was rounding the corner. They all collapsed to the floor in a big heap.
"Ow!" Licorice cried.
"Sorry, honey, let me help you up." Swindler said, offering her a hand. He then rushed to help the two girls recover their books and folders off the floor.
"Are you okay, Swindler? You seem a bit panicked." Snow said.
"It's Coolpowski! He's taken over Kapowski's personality!" Swindler shrieked.
"And that's a problem because..." Licorice said.
"Well, while Kapowski was really cool and popular in high school, and a lot of fun, well...I'm starting to remember how much of a jerk he was too. You see, once Snow joined our group in middle school, Kapowski wanted to be her friend, but she told him 'no' because he was acting like a jerk all the time. That's when we all sort of realized the truth and came to our senses. So Kapowski vowed he'd never be Coolpowski again, for fear he'd act like a huge jerk again. And it's happening!" Swindler explained.
"This is terrible! I don't want to lose Kapowski!" Snow cried.
"I think you mean Coolpowski." a voice said. They all turned to see Kapowski and four large creatures standing in the hall. The creatures flanked him on both sides.
"Oh, uh, hey...Coolpowski...who are they?" Swindler asked.
"This is my entourage! You guys remember the Small Fries, right?"
"I remember them being smaller." Snow said.
"We all had growth spurts over the summer." Sporty explained.
Coolpowski slid on a pair of sunglasses. "So, you guys want to cut class and go to the mall?"
"No way!" Snow replied.
"Yes!" Licorice said. The other two glared at her. "What? Okay, fine, no."
"Your loss. Come on guys, let's jet." Coolpowski said.
"Not so fast, Coolpowski!" a voice said. Kapowski whipped around.
Rex and Blue stood at the other end of the hallway.
"Blue? You dare challenge me?"
"I'm not here to challenge you to anything! I'm here to remind you of who you used to be!" Blue called.
"Yeah, whatever. If you want to properly challenge me, you'll have to get yourself an entourage."
"Oh, I have an entourage. C'mon guys, let's remind Kapowski of who he is."
Swindler, Snow, and Licorice went to join Blue.
"Remember the time you and I went into the quarantined science classroom and got attacked by green enzymes?!" Blue shouted.
"I never did that!" Coolpowski shouted back.
"Oh yeah? How about the time I made you go parasailing at the beach? Remember how scared you were?" Licorice said.
"Parasailing sounds like something I might do, but be afraid? You're joking!"
"Kapowski! Remember your dedication you showed to your school when you showed up to my class on senior ditch day?" Professor asked.
"Why would I do that? I would have ditched on senior ditch day."
"Hmm...we're going to have to hit him with some more meaningful memories." Blue said.
"How about the time you defeated Norman Noggin in a brain-off?" Rex209 asked.
"Uh...yeah! I--no! That never happened!"
"We're starting to get through! Keep it up guys!" Blue said.
"Remember when we stomped you in the disc golf tournament?" Austin said.
"I...think I do."
"Remember how this felt?" Hallbert asked, hurling a dodge ball across the hall. The ball impacted with Kapowski's head, knocking him to the floor.
"Slightly." he moaned.
"Kapowski! Remember when you asked me out at the Summer Dance!" Snow called.
"Yes! I remember! I remember everything now! I'm...I'm back!"
"All right! Coolpowski is gone!" Snow said.
"Yep, I'm just regular old me again." Kapowski said.
"Hang on, I thought you were going to prove you were cooler than Kapowski, Blue." Swindler said.
"Yes, and I concluded that the best way to become cooler than Kapowski was to forever rid him of Coolpowski." Blue replied.
"Well, you did us all a big favor by trying to make yourself cooler. Coolpowski was a jerk..."
"Yeah, he kind of was."
"You know, I think I like regular Kapowski more."
They both looked over at Kapowski and Snow, who were hugging.
"Yeah, me too." Blue said.
Episode Sixteen-Orange You Glad?
"Woohoo! Go Swindler!" Licorice called from the bleachers.
"Man, Swindler is so quick on his feet out there!" Snow said.
"Well, he got his nickname for a reason. He can swindle that ball from any of the other team's members so quick that before they even realize they're not holding it anymore, Swindler scores!"
"Yeah, Swindler is the best basketball player I know!" Kapowski said.
"Yeah? And just how many basketball players do you..." Blue began. He squinted and looked at the bleachers on the opposite side of the gym.
"Oh no. Uh, guys, I'll be right back." Blue said.
"Okay." Snow said.
Blue and Rex made their way across the gym and over to the other bleachers.
"Hey! I've been trying to get your attention! How's it going, cuz?" the orange enzyme asked.
"Orange, what are you doing here?" Blue asked.
"I just came to enjoy the game. Dad bought me a ticket." Orange explained.
"I still don't understand how you two can have the same father and yet be cousins." Rex209 said.
"Yeah, it can be a bit confusing, but it actually has to do with our chemical make-up. It's different enough that we couldn't be considered brothers, but similar enough that--"
"Stop! Just stop it! I meant why are you at Cuboy Academy? You're not a high schooler!" Blue said in protest.
"Actually, I am now! I enrolled in a special program at my school that allows me to take some high school classes. Dad said I was ready for them. And get this, you and I have a class together! Isn't that great?"
"Are you serious? And what is up with that? Why are you wearing a proto-suit? Are you trying to copy my style?"
"What? I just thought I should try to wear something that made me look older and more mature. That way I won't get picked on at school."
"Ugh! Listen, just...don't talk to me when you see me during school."
"Well, let's start with the fact that--"
"Blue!" Rex209 interrupted, sensing he was about to say something hurtful.
"Oh, I get it! You're afraid I'll embarrass you! Don't worry, cuz, I'll be cool. I can't wait to meet all of your friends!"
Blue grumbled angrily.
The next day at school, Blue remained quiet while the rest of the group buzzed about the basketball game.
"That last shot you made seconds before the buzzer sounded? Man! That had me on the edge of my seat!" Kapowski said.
"Thanks man!" Swindler replied.
"Hey Blue, who was that you were talking to last night?" Snow asked.
"What? You saw him? Ugh!"
"What's the matter Blue?"
"He was no-one. Just some annoying guy who kept--"
"Hiya, cuz!" a voice said. Blue groaned.
"Oh, hi there! I'm Snow, a friend of Blue's. What's your name?" Snow asked.
"I'm Orange, Blue's cousin!" Orange replied.
"Oh! This is your cousin, Orange? Nice to meet you! I'm Kapowski." Kapowski said, extending a hand. Blue slapped it away.
"Huh? Blue, what's going on?" Kapowski asked.
"Nothing! It's just, uh, Orange can't shake your hand in that proto-suit." Blue sad quickly.
"Well, actually, I can! This proto-suit is made of a glass-like polymer that provides protection as well as flexibility!" Orange said, extending a hand. He and Kapowski shook hands.
"Wow! That's so cool! Blue, did you ever have one of those?" Swindler asked.
"Well...no, but..." Blue began.
"That's a shame, because this thing is really cool!"
"I'm in Blue's history class!" Orange said.
"Well that's great! We have that class too!" Licorice said.
"Awesome! We can all hang out together!"
"No! We can't!" Blue shouted.
"Huh? What do you mean Blue?" Orange asked.
"Oh, well, you see, Licorice and Swindler sit in the back while Snow, Kapowski and I sit up in front. You couldn't possibly hang out with us all at once."
"Sure I could! I'll just sit in the middle!"
"Yeah Blue, he can still hang with us! Come on, class is starting!" Kapowski said. They all began to walk to history class. Blue turned red with anger.
"Blue, you know Professor told you how bad that is for your amino acids." Rex209 said. Blue let out a long breath, returning to his normal color.
"All right, let's go." Blue said.
In history class, Orange eagerly raised his hand to answer each question. Blue did as well, but Orange was called on more. Blue clenched his fists in anger.
"Are you okay, Blue? You seem kind of tense." Snow said.
"I am not tense! Who suddenly made you the tense detective, huh?!" Blue shouted.
"The answer is d, the expulsion of the lizard-men from Ancient Greece." Orange said, answering a question.
"Correct!" Mr. Nutsinbultz said.
"Man, great job, Orange! That was a tough question." Swindler said.
"Ahhhh! Enough!" Blue yelled. He hopped out of Rex's cockpit and spouted out a string of unintelligible words.
Orange gasped. Tears filled his eyes. He got up and fled from the classroom.
Everyone looked at Blue, who was frozen with shock at what he had just done.
"I don't know what you said, but that was mean, Blue." Licorice said.
Blue hopped back inside Rex. "Come on Rex, we have to go find Orange." he said. Rex and Blue dashed out of the room.
They found Orange crying under a table in the cafeteria.
"Did you really mean it? Did you really mean what you said?" Orange asked, sniffling.
"No! Of course not! I'd never wish you were never created! I just...you're so much smarter than I am! You're in middle school and taking high school classes! I didn't want you to meet my friends because I was afraid they'd like you better for being smarter!" Blue said.
"You're...you're jealous of me? You're my older cousin! I'm actually trying to be like you!"
"Yeah! You're way cooler than I am and I'm always worried about not fitting in. So I try to be like you so that I can be cool and have friends. I started wearing a proto-suit, just like you! I stopped wearing my glasses so I could be cool like you!"
"Yes! I look up to you, Blue! You're my role model!"
"Aw, I'm sorry Orange, I had no idea. Come on, I'll introduce you to some guys that you'll really fit in with!"
"Thanks, Blue." Orange said. Blue led him into the library, where Zapo, Neko, Owl, Azul, and Arctic Arthur sat, reading books.
"Hi guys! This is my cousin, Orange. He's looking for a cool group of guys to hang out with." Blue said.
"Well, why don't you join our group, Orange? We'd love to have you!" Azul said.
"Yes, why don't you have a seat?" Zapo said invitingly.
"Thanks guys! Thanks, Blue." Orange said.
"Anytime Orange." Blue said.
"Hey Blue, that was really cool of you." Snow said as the others entered the library.
"Thanks guys. I'm sorry for being a jerk all day." Blue said.
"Don't worry about it, we all have our bad days." Swindler said.
"So, you found a group for Orange? Why not invite him into our group?" Kapowski asked.
"Are you kidding? We already have a nerd in the group. Who needs more than that?" Swindler said.
They all laughed, except for Kapowski.
"I don't get it."
Episode Seventeen-Brick Break
"Guys! Guess what?" Blue said, excited.
"BrickCon is in town?" Kapowski replied.
"Yeah, man! Aren't you guys pumped?"
"You know I am! We're going after school today." Swindler said.
"Aw, but Swindler I need to go to the spa!" Licorice complained.
"Yeah, just like I need a nose job." Snow said sarcastically. Licorice looked sideways at Snow.
"You really do." she said finally. Snow gasped and covered her nose.
"Don't listen to her, Snow, your nose is fine." Kapowski said. "So, we'll meet after school, right?"
"Well, I guess, but if someone points out how huge my pores are I am so going home!" Licorice said.
That day after school, the six of them met up at BrickCon.
"Wow! So many brick-shaped products and media, my mind can barely take it!" Kapowski said, gawking at a television screen.
"Come on Swindler, buy me a Kitty-Brick!" Licorice begged.
"No! Those things are way too expensive!" Swindler replied.
"Hey, check out this street performer!" Blue called. They all rushed to watch the yellow guy with glasses sitting in his brick-shaped vehicle.
"Wow, he can read that newspaper like a pro!" Swindler cheered, tossing a handful of coins into the man's vehicle.
"Hm?" the man looked up from his newspaper. "Ah, customers! I am Brick Brickson. Do any of you require the services of a renowned bounty hunter and-or hitman?"
"Huh? No, we just liked watching you read your newspaper. Hey, let's go buy some Brick-Kabobs!" Kapowski said. They all dashed off to consume food in the shape of a brick.
The next day in science class, everyone was still buzzing about BrickCon.
"Man, wasn't it so cool!? Did you see the trailer for the new Lord of the Bricks?" Snow asked.
"No, I was too busy waiting in line to get tickets to Monsterbrick Mania. Have they released it anywhere else yet?" Blue asked.
"You do know that Monsterbrick Mania isn't until this summer, right?" Swindler asked.
"Yes, but Rex wants to see it and insisted we get the tickets early while they were on sale at BrickCon. On top of that, the guy made us get two tickets for the both of us when we only take up one seat! Some people will do anything to get extra cash. It's sickening."
"Yeah, you'd be surprised what people will do for money." Kapowski said.
Suddenly, the back wall exploded, tossing debris across the room.
"What was that?" Snow asked.
"Look, it's the street performer from yesterday!" Swindler said, pointing.
"That's right, and I am here to destroy the five of you--for money!" Brick Brickson shouted.
"What did I tell you? People will do anything for money." Kapowski said.
"Also, there are six of us. Don't count me out." Rex209 said.
"Why would you want to be included in the group of people he is trying to terminate?" Blue asked.
"Well I don't want to be left out."
"No problem! Just stand still and I'll make sure I get all of you at once." Brick said, charging up the cannon on his GunBrick.
"Run!" Snow yelled. They all fled the room, escaping the blast from the GunBrick.
"Kids these days don't listen to instructions." Brick said, shaking his head.
"Who paid this lunatic to destroy us!?" Licorice shouted as they ran down the hall.
"I don't know, but right now I'm more worried about surviving!" Kapowski replied.
"Wait, Rex can just blast him away!" Blue said. Rex209 stopped and turned around, firing a proton blast at the GunBrick.
The GunBrick flipped over to reveal its shield, which absorbed the blast.
"You've got to be kidding me." Blue said.
"Guys, I have an idea, let's get to the wrestling room!" Snow said.
"Where did they go..." Brick said to himself as he roved around the school.
"Oh no, he has cornered us in the wrestling room? Whatever will we do?" Licorice called.
"Aha, now I know where you are!" Brick said, rolling towards the wrestling room.
"I have you now!" he said.
Swindler stood out on the wrestling mat.
"Why don't you get out of your fancy GunBrick and take me on yourself?" Swindler challenged.
"Uh...yeah, okay." Brick said, climbing out of his GunBrick. He stepped onto the wrestling mat and got into a fighting stance.
"Okay guys, we can wrap this up now." Swindler said, leaping off of the mat.
"Huh?" Brick said. Suddenly, the six of them started to roll up the wrestling mat, wrapping Brick up inside until he looked like he was stuck in a big, blue burrito.
"Let me out of here!" he shouted.
"No...I think we'll keep you all cozy until the police get here." Snow said.
"Come on, I was just doing it for money!"
"Speaking of which, who paid you?"
"I'm not at liberty to give that information. If I say his name I don't get my money."
"All right, we've narrowed it down to males. Anything else?"
Brick gulped, but kept his mouth shut.
"Hmm...I don't like this at all. First the crazy dove guy and now this? Something is up." Snow said.
"Yep." Blue said in agreement.
"That's it? Just 'yep'? Nothing else?"
"Nah, we tend to be thrust into life-threatening situations everyday anyway. It's actually pretty normal at this point, so I'm not too worried."
"Seriously? Everyone feels this way?"
The others all nodded.
Snow threw her hands up and sighed. "Yeah, me too."
Episode Eighteen-Towers and Tarragons is Intense!
"Ugh, I don't want to go to Neko's house! I just know that him and Owl are going to make us play that dumb, nerdy game they like!" Licorice complained as she stepped out of the car.
"Come on, Licorice, it's just one night. Besides, we do owe them for getting the bus off the roof of the school." Swindler said, pulling her along behind him.
Kapowski rang the doorbell.
Neko answered the door. "Hi guys! Come on in! Owl just made nachos."
"Ooh! Let me get in there, got to have some nachos!" Blue said, racing into the house. The others followed behind, taking care to wipe their feet on the rug.
"The game is set up down in the basement. We kind of had to move it there because my mom's book club is meeting tonight, but it's fine." Neko explained. They all filed down the stairs into the basement.
"Austin?!" Snow cried.
"Sup." Austin said from his seat on the sofa.
"Why are you here?"
"Um, to play Towers and Tarragons, duh! Justin was out of town so I had nothing better to do."
"Take your seats everyone! It's time to play the game!" Owl said with his mind.
Everyone found a seat around the card table, where the game board was laid out.
"Ooh, I want to be this guy!" Swindler said, reaching for a game piece. Owl telekinetically slapped Swindler's hand away. "Ouch!"
"You can't just be whatever you want! The character you take on is dictated by your personality in real life." Owl said.
"Guys, can we just get the game started?" Kapowski asked.
"Yes, let's. Everyone close your eyes while I recite the Poem of Origins."
"The what?" Licorice asked.
Owl sighed. "The thing that starts the game."
Everyone closed their eyes.
"In the land of Tentania, an evil force arises that threatens the safety of the whole kingdom. Six heroes must venture forth to stop this evil, before the land falls to its power. And so the journey begins. Open your eyes."
Kapowski opened his eyes to find that they were now standing in an open, grassy plain.
"What the--" he began.
"Welcome to Tentania!" a voice boomed.
"Owl? Is that you? Where are you? Where am I?"
"I am still in Neko's basement. I am the story forger for this adventure, so I did not go in."
"Go in where?"
"Into the game. You and five others were selected by the game to embark on the quest I made."
Kapowski looked around. Swindler, Snow, Blue, Rex, and Austin were with him in the grassy field, all decked out on medieval clothing.
"All right! I'm the barbarian! Arrrrgh!" Swindler growled, flexing his muscles under the bearskin jacket he wore. A horned helmet sat atop his head and a battle axe was in his right hand.
"I think I'm an elven warrior." Snow said, touching her now pointy ears. She wore a green cloak over brown and grey clothes and tights. A quiver and bow were slung across her back.
"Definitely." said Blue. Blue now wore a small, light brown robe with blue runes and symbols on it. A pointy hat sat upon his head and he clutched an oaken staff in his arms. He sat atop a grey horse with large hooves and blue eyes.
"Rex, is that you?" Snow asked.
"Yes, I seem to have been transformed into some type of steed for use as transportation for Blue. So...not much different than usual." Rex209 the horse said.
"I'm going to call you Lightning!" Blue said, patting the horse's head.
"No." Rex replied.
"And what is Austin?" Kapowski asked.
They all looked at Austin, who was clad in a dark cloak, wearing a black mask. A dagger hung at his belt. Austin shrugged.
"Austin has become a rogue, a knife-wielding class that uses stealth, wits, and deceit to rob and defeat enemies." Owl's voice boomed.
"Yeah, no surprise there." Snow said.
Kapowski looked down at himself. He wore a green robe and had large gauntlets on his hands that glowed with green light.
"Just like my gloves..." Kapowski whispered.
"Well what are we standing around for? Let's go kill something evil!" Swindler shouted.
"Wait Swindler, first we need to know which way to go." Austin said.
"Who do we ask for help when we don't know which way to go?"
"The map!" Blue said.
"Or we could just ask the guy who made the quest for us." Snow said.
"Fine, if you want to take the fun out of it."
"Owl, where are we going?" Swindler asked.
"There is a small village about fifty paces north." Owl answered.
"Fifty paces? I don't see anything!" Austin said.
"Well, let's start walking anyway." Snow said. They began walking north. After fifty steps, they stopped.
"Where is it? I don't see anything!" Blue said.
"Wait, what is this?" Austin said, pointing at the ground. They moved aside the tall grass to find a miniscule community of villages.
"Wow, he wasn't kidding when he said 'small'." Kapowski said.
Suddenly they heard little screams coming from the village.
"What's the matter?"
"They must think we're evil giants." Snow said.
"Oh, no don't worry little guys, we're heroes! We're here to help you. Is there a...mayor, or king, or sultan, or...oh, there he is." Swindler said, pointing to a little person wearing a crown. The king stood atop a bell tower so that his three-inch tall body could be seen clearly.
"Hello, your majesty, we are here to help you defend yourselves against the evil forces." Snow said, curtsying.
"Thank you, giants, for coming to our aid. The evil lies in a castle, about ten miles east!" the king said in his tiny voice.
"Ten miles!?" Blue said in complaint.
"Wait, can you convert that into distance for someone our size?" Kapowski asked.
"Oh, sure. It'll take you giants about a hundred paces." the king said.
Blue sighed. "I would not have wanted to walk ten actual miles!"
"You wouldn't have, you're riding on me!" Rex said.
"Thank you your majesty!" Snow said, curtsying again. They started walking east. They soon came upon a tiny castle.
"The evil guy is in here? It'll be easy to beat him I bet!" Swindler said.
Suddenly, the front gates opened. An armored creature came out, about a foot tall.
"Ha-ha! He's so tiny!"
"Oh yeah? Well all I need to do is use this potion I just made and you guys'll be in big trouble!" the armored man said.
"Aw, he's so cute! He made a potion." Swindler said in a baby-talk voice.
The armored knight poured the potion on his head and began to grow. Soon he was forty feet tall, towering over them all.
Snow fired an arrow at him, but it bounced off harmlessly.
"Run!" Blue shouted. They all scattered as the armored knight swung his large arm down at them. The ground quaked as his fist pounded the ground.
Swindler hit the giant with his axe, but all he did was get its attention. Swindler got smashed into the ground by the giant's hand.
"Ow." Swindler said weakly.
"Blue, use your magic!" Kapowski called, throwing punches into the giant's armor with his gauntlets.
"Magic?" Blue said.
"Yeah, you're a cleric, so you have healing magic. Go heal Swindler!"
"Oh, okay." Blue ran to Swindler's aid.
"Thanks man." Swindler said sitting up upon being healed.
"Hey guys!" Austin called. Austin stood atop the giant's head.
"What are you doing up there!?" Snow called.
"Do you think this might be important?" Austin asked, thrusting his dagger into an unarmored spot. The giant yelled out and collapsed to the ground.
"What just happened?" Kapowski asked.
"Stealth and wits, that's what. I found the bad guy’s weak spot."
"Austin was the hero? Huh, weirdest thing that's happened all day." Snow said.
"We've been sucked into a role-playing board game and you find that to be the weirdest thing?!" Swindler cried.
"Wait, what's going on?" Blue asked. They were all starting to fade.
Suddenly, they opened their eyes to find they were back in Neko's basement.
"That was so cool!" Neko said.
"Well done, you completed the quest." Owl said.
"Aw, she fell asleep." Swindler said.
"So, do you want to play again?" Neko asked. They all exchanged looks.
Then, they all said in unison, "No!"
Episode Nineteen-Too Close for Comfort
"Hi guys!" Snow said, greeting all of the others. Kapowski and Swindler whistled in unison.
"Wow, Snow, looking hot in that outfit!" Swindler said.
"Well, I guess it is a bit warm..." Snow replied.
"No, I meant--" Swindler began.
"He means that you look nice." Kapowski said.
"Oh, well thank you, Swindler! I just got a whole bunch of these cute blouses and vests as a gift from my great-aunt Victoria. I'm got yet to try them all on, but I figured that I could take them out for a little test run over the week." Snow said.
"Sounds cool. I must say they are really nice. Got any in my size?" Licorice asked.
"Sorry Lick, I don't think so..."
"Oh, maybe you can come over and try a few on anyway!"
"Hey look, there's Bradd! Hi Bradd!" Snow called.
"Hey Snow, what's--" Bradd began. His eyes widened and he dashed off on his skateboard.
"That was strange."
"Yeah, Bradd is usually so...rad! I wonder why he looks so worried." Blue said.
"Wait, who is Bradd?" Kapowski asked.
"He's nobody, Kapowski. Just a guy in my skating club." Snow said.
"I'm not jealous or anything, I just never seen him around before. Wait, you're in a skating club? I didn't know you skateboarded."
"I don't. I rollerblade."
"Oh, okay. I could never do something like that. I'm too clumsy." Kapowski said, blushing.
"Yeah, but you're my klutz." Snow said, kissing him on the cheek.
"Ugh!" Blue groaned. "Can we just move the story along?"
"Hey! It's my job to break the fourth wall, not yours!" Kapowski cried.
Later that day, the group was sitting together at lunch in the courtyard.
"Hey Bradd! Come sit with us!" Snow called as he skated by.
"Are you even allowed to ride that in school?" Swindler asked.
"No, I'm not, but whatever. And uh, I think it may be best if I not sit with you guys today. Bye!" With that, Radd Bradd skated off.
"Bradd! Wait!" Snow called. She sighed.
"What's wrong Snow?" Licorice asked.
"I just don't know what's going on. Bradd and I are usually cool, but suddenly he's avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?"
"I'm sure you haven't done anything wrong, Snow." Kapowski said.
"Well then why else would he be avoiding me?" she asked.
"Hmm...maybe we could go talk to him? Ask him what's up?" Swindler suggested.
"That's not a bad idea, Swindler! C'mon, let's go talk to Bradd! You too, Blue, Rex, come on!" Kapowski said, standing up.
Rex started to follow Kapowski.
"No! My lunch! No! Noooooo!" Blue shouted trying to grab his lunchbox as they walked away. "You had to open your big mouth, Swindler! Now I can't eat my lunch!"
"You're welcome." Swindler said. Blue groaned.
"Where does Bradd usually hang out, anyway?" Kapowski asked.
"My GPS system indicates that he is located at that table over there." Rex209 said.
"Okay, I think I have a plan. We'll get Bradd to go into the auditorium, and we'll arrange for Snow to be there when he gets there. Then we'll make them hug out whatever the problem was and make up. Sound good?" Kapowski said.
"That's a great plan!" Blue said.
"I just want to make one tweak."
"I get to sit and eat my food!"
After lunch, Kapowski and Swindler arrived at Bradd's classroom.
"Hey Bradd, the, uh, principal wants to see you in the auditorium." Swindler said.
Bradd looked up at the teacher for permission. The teacher nodded his approval and Bradd followed the duo to the auditorium.
"So...what did he want to see me for?" Bradd asked.
Suddenly, the lights flicked on. Licorice and Snow stood in the room. Bradd's eyes bulged. He turned to dash out, but Kapowski and blue barred his way to the door. Rex209 welded the door shut.
"Ahh!" Bradd yelled.
"Okay Bradd, whatever you're mad at Snow for you need to tell us now." Licorice said.
"Yeah," Blue said through a mouthful of potato-chip-flavored food pills, "you've got to come out with it, Bradd!"
"No guys, you don't understand, I can't be in here with her right now!" Bradd said, banging on the door.
"It's no use. I welded it shut." Rex209 said.
"What!? Guys, I really can't be here right now I have a severe all--" Bradd began.
"Bradd, it's okay, we're here to talk about whatever is going on. We can make it right." Snow said.
"There's nothing to talk about, I just need to--"
"Then you guys will hug it out instead." Kapowski said.
"What!? No, that's the worst thing for me to do at this time!" Bradd cried.
Snow extended her arms for a hug.
Kapowski and Swindler grabbed Bradd by the arms and started pushing him towards Snow.
"You...guys...need...to...make...up!" Kapowski grunted as he pushed the struggling Radd Bradd towards Snow.
"No!" Bradd shouted. Suddenly, Swindler stepped on Bradd's skateboard and slipped up on the floor. Bradd crashed forward on top of Snow and the two collapsed in a pile.
"There, much better." Kapowski said. "Don't you guys feel better?"
"No, I feel a thousand times worse!" Bradd said, his words slurred. He rolled onto his back. His face had turned a red color and he was starting to swell up.
"Ahh! What happened!?" Swindler asked.
"I was trying to tell you guys, I have a severe allergy to wool!" Bradd said, his words becoming more slurred as his face swelled up. He started scratching his arms as hives popped up on them.
"Oh..." Kapowski said.
"This new vest must be made of wool! I'm sorry Bradd, I didn't know." Snow said.
"Yeah, it's all right, but can we please get me to a nurse?" Bradd said.
"Uh..." Blue said. "I think that might be a little hard to do..." he said, indicating the sealed door.
"Rex!" Kapowski shouted.
"What? It was your idea!" Rex replied.
"Aw, great! Now what are we going to do?" Swindler asked.
"Guys! The vents!" Licorice said, pointing at a ventilation grate on the ceiling.
"That's it! Come on guys, let's go!" Kapowski said.
"I think I should stay here for now, I don't want to aggravate Bradd's symptoms any further." Snow said.
"We understand Snow. Don't worry, we'll come back and get you once we get Bradd to the nurse's office." Kapowski said. They lifted Bradd up into the vents and laid him on top of his skateboard so that they could easily roll him along through the vents.
Swindler had boosted up the last of them, when he suddenly realized he couldn't reach the edge.
"I can't reach, you guys go on ahead, I'll stick here with Snow." he said.
"Okay Rex, which way to the nurse's office?" Blue asked.
"Turn left at the next air duct." Rex said.
"Very funny, Rex."
They followed Rex through the vents.
"Continue ahead forty feet."
"We're almost there!" Licorice said.
Suddenly, they all dropped through the floor as they walked over a ventilation grate. They crashed into a busy classroom.
"Ow..." Bradd groaned.
"You have reached your destination." Rex said.
"What? This is a classroom!" Blue shouted.
They collectively groaned.
"What's the fastest way to the nurse's office?" Kapowski asked one of the students.
"Well, the fastest way to get anywhere is to travel by 'scene wipe'." the student replied.
"It's when the narration of a story cuts out the less important parts and just skips to the next--"
Finally they reached the nurse's office, where Bradd received the medicine for his allergy.
The swelling went down and his speech returned to normal, though he still itched at his hives.
"Thanks a lot guys." Bradd said.
"No problem." Blue said.
"No I mean thanks a lot for putting me in this situation in the first place! I'm never hanging out with you guys again!"
"Wait! Bradd, I understand if you don't want to hang out with us, but don't push Snow away too. She has a lot of fun at skating club with you and I don't want that to be taken away."
"Well, okay. Anyways, I have to go to the hospital now after having used that medication, so I guess I won't be in school tomorrow."
"No school? High-five!" Blue said, high-fiving Bradd in the face. Bradd went wheeling away in the swivel chair and through a pair of double doors.
"Uh...I'm sure he's fine." Blue said. Kapowski pointed to a sign above the doors. It read: 'Stairs'.
"Well, at least he was already going to the hospital." Licorice said.
"You guys are such incompetent losers! I'm sending you the bill for this! I can't believe I ever--" Bradd's voice echoed from down the stairs.
"Run?" Kapowski suggested.
"Yep!" Blue and Licorice said in unison.
With that, the trio dashed off from the scene.
Episode Twenty-A Cold-Hearted Cheat
"C'mon Swindler, spit it out already!" Snow said.
"P-p-p-parents!" Swindler stammered.
"Lick wants me to meet her parents and I just...I'm freaking out! What if they don't like me? What if they make us break up? What if they think she should only go out with someone that is fudge swirl flavored!? What do I do!?"
"Oh, I see the problem. Listen Swindler, you should try to calm down. Just be yourself. Where are you meeting them?" Snow asked.
"Over at their house for dinner."
"What? What's yikes?"
"Well it's just that you'll be in their territory, so they may be a bit more judgmental..."
"Ahh! Forget it! I'm just going to pack my things and make a run for Balloon Land..."
"Swindler, calm down! Maybe Kapowski can help you. He's pretty well educated in manners and etiquette, maybe he could give you some pointers."
Swindler sniffed. "Okay."
A few minutes later, Swindler met Kapowski at his locker.
"And...*sniff* and then she said that *sniff* that her p-p-p-parents wanted to m-m-meet m-me and *sniff* I d-don't know what to d-d-d-d-d-"
"Do?" Kapowski supplied.
"Okay Swindler, first of all, pull yourself together people are starting to stare. Second of all, I can totally help you. I'll teach you how to have good manners, be all proper, and how to butter up her parents."
"But butter tastes terrible with ice cream!" Swindler cried, burrowing his face into Kapowski's shoulder.
Kapowski sighed. "Maybe first we should work on how to understand figurative language." Kapowski said, his voice muffled by Swindler's frame. Kapowski pushed Swindler off of his shoulder. "Look, just...come over to my house after school and I'll walk you through it. When are you meeting them?"
"Tonight." Swindler said, sniffing.
"Oh...all right, just take this book and read through it during the school day and then after school I'll give you a crash course and rehearsal dinner, okay?"
"You know I'm not *sniff* much of a reader."
"Do you want her parents to like you or not?"
"Okay, okay! Give me the book...I'll read as much as I can."
"Wait, why did you bring this book to school with you?"
"Seriously, you guys couldn't find anything better to read?"
"It was a tie between this and the last book in the Dawn series."
"The one with the vampires?"
"I respect your decision."
The two of them bumped fists and then headed off to class.
Later that day, Swindler went to Kapowski's house for the crash course.
"Okay, so, what are the types of forks again?"
Kapowski sighed. "Salad, dinner, des--"
"Is there a fork for side dishes?" Swindler interrupted.
"What? No, for those you use the dinner fork."
"But what if--"
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it." Kapowski said.
Swindler sighed and let his head drop, unhappily twirling one of the many forks between his fingers.
Swindler looked up to see Snow there at the table across from him.
"Let me go! I don't want to do this!" Austin shouted, his shirt collar in Snow's grasp.
"If you do this I won't make you clean anything the next time I foil your plans." Snow said.
"That's the fifth time you've said that, but it doesn't make me believe you any more!" Austin cried. Snow thrust him into of the chairs. "Man, this sucks."
"Okay, I've got the food here." Kapowski said, rushing in with a platter.
"Food!? Heck, why didn't you say so!? I'll gladly pretend to be the ice cream girl's dad for this rehearsal dinner if I get to dig in!" Austin said.
Snow took a seat next to Austin.
"Wait, why are you two here?" Swindler asked.
"They're here for the rehearsal dinner. They are going to pretend to be Licorice's parents." Kapowski said.
"All right..." Swindler said. Kapowski distributed the food out onto everyone's plates, except for Swindler's.
"Where's my food?" Swindler asked.
"Dude, you need to save room for the actual dinner later. You can't pig out now!" Kapowski exclaimed.
"But I'm huuuuuuuungry!"
Kapowski groaned. "Fine, you can have one of the dinner rolls but no more than that, okay?"
Swindler nodded and took a roll.
"Okay, so why don't we try engaging in some playful banter?" Kapowski said.
"Well, okay, but I've never played banter before...it’s kind of like badminton isn't it?" Swindler asked.
"No, banter is like formal conversation."
"So, Swindler...what do you want to do when you grow up?" Snow asked.
"Well, I'd really like to go into professional basketball." Swindler replied.
"No! You need to say something more impressive, like lawyer, or, governor, or--"
"I think that was a fine answer!" Snow said.
"Swindler should just be himself! If they don't like the fact he wants to be a basketball player then that's their problem!"
Kapowski and Snow began to argue over how Swindler should act, while Austin started to gnaw on a drumstick of chicken.
Suddenly, Swindler's phone beeped. He took it out to find a text from Licorice on there.
"Oh man, I've got to go!"
"What? But it isn't for another two hours!" Kapowski said.
"Change of plans, it’s at their lake house! I need to leave now if I want to make it in time!" Swindler said, running out of the house.
Austin licked his lips. "Can I keep eating?"
"Get out." Kapowski and Snow both said in unison, monotone.
Swindler made it to the lake house on time, and soon enough they were all sitting down to a dinner.
"I see that everything is...cold." Swindler said.
"That isn't a problem, is it?" Licorice's father, Cookie Dough, asked.
"No, of course not. I love cold things. Cold pizza, cold cereal, cold sandwiches...ha..." Swindler said nervously.
They all continued to eat their food.
"So, Swindler, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Licorice's mom, Cotton Candy, asked.
Say something like a lawyer or a governor! Kapowski's voice said in Swindler's head. No, just be yourself Swindler. Tell them what you really want to do. Snow said.
"I want to be a professional basketball player." Swindler said.
"Basketball? That is hardly the kind of person I want my daughter dating!" Cookie Dough said.
"Honey!" Cotton Candy exclaimed.
"Don't call me honey, you know I'm not honey-flavored! Now, Mr. Swindler, allow me to tell you--"
"Dad!" Licorice said.
"Be quiet, Licorice! This guy isn't right for you! He isn't an ice cream, he is a warm-blooded jock! The only thing cold about him might be his heart! I bet he'll turn out to be a cold-hearted cheat, just like your last six boyfriends!" Cookie Dough blurted.
"Sir, I'm sorry if I gave you that impression, but--"
"Oh no you don't, sonny! I want you to leave my daughter alone! I don't want her heart to be broken again!"
"I...yes, sir. I understand." Swindler said, rising from his seat.
Suddenly, a chocolate-flavored butler came bustling through the doors.
"Sir, the kitchen has caught fire! We need to get out of here!" he said.
Licorice's parents leapt up from their seats and scurried towards the nearest exit. Suddenly, the ceiling came crashing down from above, flaming timbers among the debris.
From outside, Cotton Candy sighed. "I'm glad everyone is all--wait, where are the children?!" she exclaimed.
"They're trapped inside!" Cookie Dough cried.
"Oh no, Swindler, we're trapped! Licorice said, her ice-creamy body beginning to melt.
"No, we'll get out of here!" Swindler said. He picked up Licorice off the ground.
"Get outside as fast as you can!" he said, tossing her over the flaming wreckage. She landed on the other side, just outside of the door. Two ice-creamy butlers rushed over and escorted her outside.
Swindler then leaped over the debris, landing and rolling out the door.
Once he was outside, he found that the fire department had just arrived.
"Oh, Licorice, we're so glad you're okay!" Cotton Candy said.
Cookie Dough walked over to Swindler. "Listen sonny, maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you're not like those other guys. Thank you for saving my little girl. You make sure you treat her right." he said.
"Yes sir." Swindler said, grinning.
"Swindler, Swindler!" a voice called. Kapowski and Snow ran over to Swindler.
"What happened? Is everybody okay?" Snow asked.
"Yeah. I think everything turned out fine." Swindler said.