This article has all of the episodes from Season Two of Plasmaster's 'hit' series Cuboy Academy. You can read them here to get bamboozled, get a cosmetics license, infinitely clone your favorite food, see a reference to Portal, or...um, eat a robotic turnip? Okay, so those don't make much sense, but you can still read all of the Season Two episodes here, written by Plasmaster for your enjoyment.
If you are looking for Season One episodes, you can find those here!
If you are looking for the most recent episodes of Cuboy Academy, you can find those here!
All of the Season Two episodes will be listed here. For now, there will be twenty episodes in a season, though this may change later.
Episode One-Full of Hot Air
"Um...please to show me way to, um...the Cuboy Academy?" the hot air balloon asked. His head was blue with white eyes and a pink mouth. Hanging from ropes was a brown basket in which he held his backpack and supplies.
"Excuse me?" Austin replied. He was quite annoyed. His thoughts of his latest plan had been interrupted when this balloon had floated over to him and asked for directions.
"Sorry, I am foreign exchange student from Balloon Land. I speak native Balloonese, my English not very good. Please to show me way to Cuboy Academy?" the balloon explained.
"Oh, you're not from around here, huh?" Austin replied.
"No, Balloon Land."
Austin nodded. Suddenly, his phone rang. He answered it. He held up his hand to signal that he needed a moment.
"Hello? Justin? Yeah, it's me. What? By a bus? That's awful! For six weeks? How are you going to help with my plan if you're on crutches? You're a vital part of my plan this time Justin, I need you to...yes, I know. Yeah. The orange goo pie was not my fault! Okay, partly mine, but...I understand. No, it's fine, I'll find someone else." Austin said, hanging up. He sighed heavily.
"You have problem?" the Balloonese boy asked.
"Yeah, I needed my friend to help me with this plan I have and...wait, you could help me!"
"Me? Wow. I am so happy to have already made friend in new country! I will help you in any way I can. But first, I must get to the class. I don't want to be the late one on my first day."
"All right, whatever. Just meet me behind Cuboy Academy during lunchtime and I'll give you the lowdown."
"Um, okay, though I am not sure about that. I've never been good at the limbo because I float."
"No, not that kind of lowdown, I meant, like...the details."
"Oh, I am now understanding. Let us go, new friend!"
"I mean, it isn't a date, it's just a group thing." Blue explained.
"Uh huh." Swindler replied, dubious.
"I'm serious! There is nothing going on between me and Sorbet!"
"Hey guys, this is Hotair. He's a foreign exchange student from Balloon Land and I've been showing him around." Kapowski said, introducing them all. Kapowski pronounced the name like this: Hoe-tie-ear.
"Pleased to make the meeting of you all." Hotair said.
"He doesn't speak English too well. Hotair, this is Swindler, Licorice, Blue, Rex, and Snow."
"Oh, I learned a little Balloonese in my foreign language class! Let me try saying some things." Snow said. She took a balloon out of her backpack and inflated it. She then made a series of sounds with it by hitting and stretching the rubber and releasing air out occasionally.
Hotair replied with a similar series of sounds.
"What did he say?" Licorice asked.
"Um...I don't really know. I'm good at speaking it, but not so much at listening and translating it. Let me try responding." Snow replied.
She made another ensemble of sound effects. Hotair suddenly began to well up with tears. He then flew off, crying.
"Was it something I said?"
"Austin? Are you here for the lowdown?" Hotair called.
"Shhh! Someone might hear you!" Austin hissed, coming out from behind a dumpster.
"There is no one else out here though." Hotair replied.
"Hey, would you two boys mind opening that dumpster for me?" the janitor, a monkey in a yellow jumpsuit, asked. Austin thrust his hand out to emphasize his point. After opening the lid for the janitor, he left and the boys began conversing about Austin's plans.
"Let me get your words straightened, you want me to fly above the school and drop ten pounds of smelly fish on the kids in the courtyard below?" Hotair inquired.
"Yep." Austin responded.
"I shall not! I do not want to be getting into the office of the principal on my first day!"
"Wait! But it's, um...a tradition! Yes, a tradition, that the...new kid, that's you, drop fish into the courtyard to show respect to...the, um, the student council, yes. And the more smelly and heavy it is, um, the better chance you have of being accepted at school!" Austin lied, improvising.
"Really? That is quite a strange tradition."
"Yeah, but it's true, Cuboy Academy has been doing that since it opened."
"Very well then, I shall participate in the dropping of fish to be accepted at my new school."
"Great! Let's start loading you up."
"I feel so bad! I didn't mean to hurt his feelings!" Snow said. She and the rest of the group had decided to eat outside in the courtyard on that sunny day.
"What did you say?" Swindler asked.
"I was trying to ask him to speak more clearly, but it may have come out as an insult to his mother."
"That's not so bad, people around here insult each other's moms all the time. Hey Blue, your mama's so green, that people pick her when they're looking for four-leaf clovers!"
"And your mama's so short that when she goes grocery shopping, she needs help reaching items on the first shelf!" Blue replied.
"See? We do it all the time."
"Yes, but in Balloon Land, mothers are greatly appreciated and are held in great honor in their society. To insult a balloon's mother, is to bring a thousand curses upon your family and all of your descendants for ten generations." Snow explained.
"Dang, that's heavy." Blue said.
"Why don't you just apologize to Hotair?" Kapowski asked.
"Once you insult a balloon's mother, you are to be shunned by the one you insulted and never spoken to again." Snow said.
"I'll tell him you're sorry."
"I don't know if that will work. Remember Mr. Protagonist's whole 'sincere apologies' speech? It was literally like, three episodes ago." Swindler said. They all looked at him in surprise.
"What, like I've never broken the fourth wall before?"
"Hey, what's that, up in the sky?" Licorice asked.
"It's a bird!" Blue said.
"It's a plane." Rex209 stated.
"It's a taco!" Kapowski cried. "I know how weird that sounds, but I've seen flying tacos before. They'll dive bomb you in the face when you least expect it, but they sure do taste good."
"Yeah, it was a flying taco, definitely not one that I threw at you..." Swindler said.
"Wait, that's Hotair! What is he doing?" Snow questioned.
"Are you sure about this?" Hotair asked through the earpiece Austin had given him.
"Definitely, you'll be the talk of the school for weeks!" Austin replied.
"Well, if you are saying so..."
Hotair began to drop the fish.
"What is this, fish? Hotair must be getting back at me for what I said earlier!" Snow said.
"Look out!" Blue called, running away as a pile of fish rained down where he had been just seconds before.
"Hotair! What are you doing?" Kapowski called.
"Kapowski? Oh boy! I am so glad you are here to see me participate in your school's tradition!" Hotair replied.
"Tradition? There's no tradition of dropping fish on the school!"
"But my friend Austin told me of the tradition!"
"Austin is a trouble maker! You can't trust him!" Snow shouted.
"I am doing the shunning of you! I can not hear you!"
"He still hasn't forgiven me! What do I have to do to--" Snow was interrupted when she slipped on a fish and landed in a nearby trash can. She climbed out, covered in trash. Hotair began to laugh.
"Okay Snow, I forgive you now!" he called.
"What?" she replied.
"Huh, according to this textbook, the only way to apologize for an insult like that is to carry out an act of public humiliation on yourself in the presence of the one you insulted." Kapowski explained.
"Oh, okay. Hotair, Austin has been trying to take down the academy all year! He's pulled stunts like this all the time! You can't trust him!" Snow called.
"I can not be trusting of Austin? But he is my first friend in this country...why would he...I understand now."
Hotair began to fly away.
"Where is he going?" Swindler asked.
"My guess is Austin is nearby." Snow said.
"Hotair? What are you doing? Are you out of fish already?" Austin asked through the microphone.
"I'm about to be running out!" Hotair replied.
Austin looked up.
"Oh boy, there's something fishy about this..." he said as the fish rained down on him.
~Thanks to AC4E for her suggestion!
Episode Two-Caught Green-Handed
Professor woke up in a dark room, tied to a chair.
"Good, you're finally awake." a voice said.
"Whoever you are, you'll never get away with this!" Professor shouted into the darkness.
There was no reply. Only evil laughter.
"Hey, have you seen Professor today?" Snow asked.
"No, I haven't. We probably have a substitute today." Licorice replied.
"Well that's a bit strange, don't you think? Professor never misses class on Forensics Friday!"
"He's probably just sick or something."
"Yeah, you're probably right."
"Hey guys!" Blue greeted as the boys joined the two girls in the hallway.
"Hi Blue. How's it going?"
"Well, I'm actually a little angry."
"What for?" Licorice asked.
"Well, there's this new guy in my robotics club. He's a giant blob of green goo that is shaped exactly like Rex."
"That's a bit strange..."
"Yeah, and he's really annoying too. He's always looking over my shoulder and going through my blueprints...the worst part about him is the impersonations he does. His Nitrome Boss impression is actually pretty good...but I'm still mad!"
"Just because he's a green enzyme?"
"No, because he won't stay out of my business! I don't trust him..."
"I've met him, and he's not so bad. His Jack Frost imitation is dead on!" Kapowski added.
"Whatever, let's go. Science class is starting."
"Whoa! What happened in here?" Swindler asked. The classroom had been demolished, as if a struggle had gone on in there.
"We're not sure. We think it has something to do with Professor's disappearance." Taki reported.
"Do you think he's been kidnapped?" Snow asked.
"We don't have any of the details yet. But, while we scour the classroom for clues, your class has been moved to the library."
"Oh, okay, thanks."
The group began to make their way to the library.
"I can't take it! My dad has gone missing and we're not going to do anything about it?" Blue asked.
"Sorry, Blue, but I think we should leave it to Taki and the police." Kapowski said.
"Well Rex and I aren't going to stand by while my dad is missing. Let's go Rex."
"Blue, get back here! You'll be late for class!" Kapowski sighed.
"Okay, let's go on our lunch break now." Taki said.
"But we haven't even started searching for clues yet!" an officer protested.
"Are you kidding? It's Fried Chicken Friday at the cafeteria!"
"Ooh, let's go!"
Taki and the officers left the science lab. Blue and Rex secretly slipped inside.
"They haven't started searching yet, so we should be able to find any clues untouched." Blue said. "Rex, begin scan of the proximity."
Rex beeped. "Scan of proximity, clear. I have detected some slimy substances in the corner of the room."
"Hey, this stuff is...green enzyme! I'll bet that new robotics club member has something to do with this...come to think of it, I've never even seen him around the school before. There's definitely something weird going on."
"You're right. Your habit of sticking your nose where it does not belong is quite weird." a voice said. The green Rex-like form came into the room.
"You...what have you done with Professor?" Blue demanded.
"Don't worry about him. We don't mean to hurt him, only keep him out of the way." the green blob replied.
"We? Who is we?"
"Me and my little friend!" the blob responded, firing a green bullet-like blob at them. Rex blasted the projectile out of the air with her proton cannon and then charged forward.
"Oh no!" the blob shouted. Rex's foot slammed down on him, pressing him into the ground.
"Where is the Professor?" she asked.
"Like I'd ever tell you!" the blob replied. His gooey body stretched out from underneath Rex and reformed behind them. It fired a bullet at them, knocking them down. He then ran from the room.
"Hey...I think he dropped something!" Blue said.
He grabbed the blue paper the green blob had dropped.
"Wait...this is the blueprint for my StalkerX-10 robot! He must've stolen these from me!"
"But why would he want these blueprints?" Rex asked.
"I don't know...hey, he drew something on the back...it looks like some sort of map."
"I will scan it and try to match it with other maps on the Internet." After scanning it, Rex beeped.
"Match found. Let's go."
The map lead them to BetterthanCuboy Academy, inside a tool shed.
"Why would the map lead us here?" Blue asked.
"Because it was the perfect trap!" a voice shouted. The door slammed shut on them, locking instantly.
"Don't worry, I will blast the door down!" Rex said. But her efforts to escape didn't work.
"This must be a stronger metal than it looks." she said.
"Blue? Rex? Are you in here?" a voice asked.
"Swindler, is that you?" Blue asked.
"Get us out of here!"
The door unlocked and they were set free.
"What were you doing in there?" Swindler asked.
"What are you doing here? How'd you find us?" Blue asked.
"I followed you guys here. I got a little lost on the way, but eventually I heard banging and came to see what it was."
"Someone locked us in here. I think they kidnapped the Professor and are using my blueprints to build a dangerous robot."
"Let's go find them."
"We can't. We have no leads from here. I don't know where to go next."
"I think I know." Kapowski said, joining them.
"Kapowski? How do you know where to look?"
"I saw a trail of green enzymes going south. If we follow it, we may be able to find the Professor."
"Thanks guys. I'm glad you came back to help."
"Yeah, well, best friends got to look out for each other's dads...that sounded weird. Let's just go find him."
The trail of green enzymes led them to an abandoned ice cream parlor.
Rex kicked the door in.
"Huh? Green! Go stop them!" a voice shouted
Suddenly, the green blob appeared from around the corner.
"I knew you were involved in this somehow!" Blue shouted.
Green replied by tackling Swindler. Swindler and Green began to wrestle on the ground.
"I'll keep him busy, you go find the Professor!" he shouted. They ran deeper into the ice cream shop.
"Whoa...there are mercenaries around the corner. I'll draw their fire while you sneak into the next room." Kapowski said.
"Thanks man." Blue replied.
"What? But I can't do that I'm too scared to--wahh!" Kapowski rambled as Blue pushed him out into the hallway.
"Hey! There's some random guy that most likely doesn't know anything about the evil plan and is totally innocent! Get him!" a mercenary shouted.
"Oh, come on!" Kapowski yelled as he ran from the mercenaries.
Blue and Rex snuck into the next room. Rex kicked the door down.
"Ahh! How did you get past Green and the mercenaries?" Doctor Nastidious asked.
"All that matters is that you are going to let my dad go and give me those robot parts." Blue replied.
"Okay, okay, I'm defeated. I know when it's time to...destroy you!" Dr. Nastidious shouted as he pushed a button.
"Firing laser!" a robotic voice shouted as a red beam blasted through the darkness. Rex quickly dodged it and fired back.
The Machine came out from the shadows, blasting lasers at them.
Blue hopped out of Rex209. While Rex fought The Machine, he untied the Professor.
"Blue, take this clipboard. You know what to do!" Professor said. Blue nodded. He then leapt in front of Rex as the Machine fired another laser. He swung the clipboard and reflected the laser, hitting the Machine in its weak point. The white robot buzzed and beeped before exploding.
"No! My Machine!" Doctor Nastidious cried before being knocked out by Professor.
"That is for making me miss Forensic Friday!"
Episode Three-A Feast Fit For a Cat!
"Dude, do you know what today is?" Kapowski asked. The group was walking through the halls on their way to lunch.
"Um, Thursday?" Swindler replied.
"Cheeseburger Thursday! My favorite day of the week! I can't wait to slap all those toppings onto that meat patty..."
Swindler began to laugh.
"What? What's wrong with--Swindler, you have a dirty mind, let me say that now. It was not a euphemism!" Kapowski shouted.
"Hey, what's up with the lunch menu?" Snow asked. Kapowski looked over to see the janitor, Peanuts the monkey, removing words from the lunch menu.
"What's going on?"
"Oh, well, someone broke in last night and ate all of the burgers and toppings, so we have to change the lunch menu today." Peanuts replied.
"What?! It's all gone?! Even the ketchup?"
"Yep, even the ketchup." Peanuts responded, a tear forming in his eye. He wiped it away. "Well anyways, I hope you enjoy today's lunch."
"What is today's lunch?"
"Well, since all of the burgers and toppings are gone, we have to break out that mystery meat and old PB&J's from the back room. They're probably not safe to eat, but Nitrome Boss insisted."
"Noooooooo! Not mystery meat! Have you no soul?"
"It ain't me, it's Nitrome Boss. And no, I don't think he does have one. Enjoy your lunch!"
"Wait, this is really weird. Why would someone break in, eat all of the burgers, and then leave? No-one would be able to eat that many burgers. Something strange is going on." Snow said.
"Hmm, I'll bet Nitrome Boss has something to do with this. He's chubby, loves cheeseburgers, and he gets to see us in misery as we are sentenced to death by mystery meat. He loves seeing us students suffer. I'd say he's a prime candidate." Blue said.
"You've got a good point Blue. I think I have a plan. We'll interview Nitrome Boss about the theft. If he says anything suspicious, we move to phase two. We'll plant cameras in his office, the kitchen, and in the cafeteria, and see if we spot anything strange."
"I'll do anything to find the culprit. Darn you, Cheeseburger Thief!!!!!111" Kapowski shouted at the ceiling.
"I'm confused, why are you in my office again?" Nitrome Boss asked.
"We're here to interview you for the school newspaper." Snow replied.
"About what? My job? My childhood? My extremely good looks?"
Licorice held back a gag as he said the last one.
"Um, no, none of those things, though I must say, you are looking...um...very, um, good." Snow said, finishing her sentence in a fit of coughing.
"What's the matter?!" Nitrome Boss demanded.
"Nothing, I just...had trouble saying that sentence." she mumbled.
"Nothing! Nothing. So, what is your opinion on the recent cheese-burglary that occurred last night?"
"Ooh, cheese-burglary, I like that. Will that be your headline?"
"Um, sure. Just answer the question please."
"I am outraged!!!!111 As you know, cheeseburgers are my favorite food in the world. To have my meal violated by such a prankster is absolutely infuriating!!!!!111"
"Uh huh...so you think this was just some prank?"
"Of course it was!!!111 My school is armed with the best security system in the world. Anyone who got in probably had a student ID of some sort and was simply playing a prank. But an enraging one nonetheless!!!111"
"Okay, so, how do you feel about how this 'prank' effected the students at your school?" Licorice asked.
"I am equally upset about that. I am trying to run a school here! And the school board said that you cannot have a full day of school without serving lunch. I was forced to resort to disgusting mystery meat and bland PB&Js! I actually flavored my mystery meat with some salt and pepper, it wasn't so bad after I--"
"Wait, you...also, ate the mystery meat?"
"Well, of course! I never bring a lunch because I always depend on the delicious meal options offered at the school cafeteria for lunch, so I too was left to feast on the malnutrition that is mystery meat."
"Oh...okay. Lick, I think we have everything we need. Thank you for your time, Mr. Nitrome Boss." Snow said as they got up and left the room.
"Cheese-burglary. How punny." Nitrome Boss said to himself.
"So, what'd you find out?" Kapowski asked.
"I don't think he did it. He ate the mystery meat too, even admitted how much he hated it. He even gave a good reason for having to rely on the mystery meat too, since the school board requires that lunch be served for there to be a full day of school." Snow explained.
"Plus, Nitrome Boss wouldn't eat all of the cheeseburgers because he would have known that there would be no lunch for the school tomorrow and they'd have to either serve mystery meat, or close the school. He can't risk that kind of bad publicity, he'd be fired!" Licorice added.
"Well who else could it be?" Blue asked.
"I'm not sure. I think Nitrome Boss is out of the question now, but we should definitely plant cameras in the kitchen and the cafeteria tonight to look for any suspicious activity." Snow replied.
"All right. Let's do it."
The next day, the group was once again horrified as Fried Chicken Friday was interrupted by the lack of delicious fried chicken, coleslaw, potato salad, and corn on the cob.
"Nooooooo!" Blue cried. "Fried Chicken Friday is my favorite day of the week! Darn you, Fried Chicken Criminal!"
"It seems the Food Bandit has struck again. Let's go check our camera footage!" Snow said.
The grabbed their hidden camera and watched the video on Kapowski's laptop.
"Huh, it's definitely big and chubby like Nitrome Boss, but it seems to act more like an animal too." Licorice said.
"Hey, it has a tail! And those look like cat ears!" Swindler said.
"Where do we know a fat cat from?" Snow asked.
"A fat cat? Perhaps I can be of assistance." a voice thundered in their heads. They turned around to see a bluish-purple owl fluttering next to them.
"Hello. I am Owl. I think I may be able to help with your issue." his voice reverberated their minds as he spoke to them through telepathy.
"You can? How?" Blue asked.
"I have a friend named Neko. He has been acting strange lately. We usually play Towers and Tarragons together every night. The past two nights, however, he has not been online. That video has confirmed my suspicions." Owl replied.
"What are we going to do?" Swindler asked.
"Tonight we will hide out in the kitchen and wait for him to arrive. Then we will stop him."
"But tonight is Saturday night, why would he come tonight?" Snow asked.
"Tomorrow morning there is a brunch after the parent-teacher meetings. I believe he will try to eat the meal prepared for the event."
"Okay then, we'll stop him. Tonight."
A door swung open and slammed shut again.
"I think he just came into the kitchen!" Licorice whisper-shouted from her hiding place behind one of the counters.
"Shh, he might hear you." Owl hissed.
A massive figure walked over to the pantry and began to wolf down its contents.
"Now!" Owl yelled. The group leapt up, flicking the lights on. Neko spun around.
"Huh? His eyes are closed. He must be eating in his sleep!" Swindler shouted.
"Food!" the giant cat mumbled.
"Neko, wake up!" Owl shouted.
The cat's eyes fluttered open. His pupils were extremely small.
"Uh oh, what'd we do?" Snow asked.
"Oh yeah, remember that whole thing about not waking people who are sleep-walking? I think that's why!" Kapowski yelled. Neko began to swing his arms around angrily.
"Swindler, Blue, hold him down until he calms himself!" Licorice said.
Swindler and Blue (in Rex209) raced to Neko's side and held him against the floor. Neko continued to struggle. Suddenly, they all heard loud gurgling noises.
"What was that? Swindler asked. Blue looked down at Neko's stomach.
"He's going to blow! Run for your lives!" Kapowski shouted. The group abandoned the mission and ran from the kitchen.
Neko burped with such ferocity that it made the building shake on its foundation. A blue mega-laser blasted out of his mouth, burning a hole in the ceiling of the kitchen. He sat up, confused.
"What happened?" he asked.
"You were sleep-eating and when we woke you up you went berserk!" Blue explained.
"Oh. I guess that's my fault. Lately I've been really tired because between playing Towers and Tarragons with Owl and studying for my final exam, I haven't gotten much sleep. I started going to bed early, but that meant that I usually had a light dinner and was hungry when I went to bed." Neko explained.
"That's all right, Neko. I'm sorry, if you were so tired you could have told me. I could wait a while before getting the Sword of Righteous Fury in the game. I still need to get to level 31 and collect the Pulmonary Organs of Raxolon anyway." Owl said.
"Thanks dude. I was just afraid that you would get as mad as a Fire Tarragon if I told you. And then you'd steal all of my gold and slay me with an Enchanted Taco of Pixie Atlantis." Neko responded.
"What are they talking about?" Licorice asked as the two continued to ramble on about game references.
"I have no idea. And I speak nerd!" Kapowski replied.
~Thanks to AC4E for her suggestion!
Episode Four-Bow (and Arrow) to the King!
"All right, who would win in a fight, Mechasaur, or Defense Robot Alpha?" Swindler asked.
"Mechasaur, obviously! His laser would burn a hole right through Defense Robot Alpha!" Kapowski replied.
"I don't know, I think those green energy orbs would be too much for Mechasaur."
"Hmm, I guess you're right. Okay, okay, how about Mint Choc Chip vs. Purple Frost?"
"That's a tough one. I'd have to go with Mint on this one. He has the ranged ice powers, Purple can't freeze you unless he touches you directly." Blue piped in.
"All right, who else could we compare...ooh, how about this: in an archery competition, who would win? Kit and Angelo, or Okie and Dokie?" Snow asked.
"Who?" Kapowski asked.
"Kit and Angelo are those two cat angels, the ones on the archery team. And Okie and Dokie are the two guys that were recently thawed out of the ice in the meat locker. It turns out they're pretty good at archery too."
"Pretty good? Me think we are very good!" a voice said. The two cavemen stomped up to the group that had gathered in the courtyard for lunch.
"Me agree." the one in the green toga said.
"Thanks, Okie. Now, who these cats you talk about? We show them what real archer look like!" the one wearing the orange toga said.
"We are the cats, and we accept your challenge!" another voice said. A winged pink cat and a winged orange cat joined the group.
"Whoa, imagine if Mint Choc Chip and Purple had been here when we'd mentioned them, there'd be an epic battle right now!" Blue cheered.
"So, how about it? Are you ready to face our impeccable precision, or are you too chicken?" Kit, the pink one, said.
"Me not know what impeccable mean, but you going down!" Dokie replied.
"All right then, I guess we're having an archery competition then. So, when will we meet?" Angelo, the orange cat, asked.
"MEAT! MEAT!" Dokie shouted.
"No, I mean when will we get together for the contest?" Angelo clarified.
"Oh, uh...Okie, how two-thirty work for you?" Dokie asked.
"Me agree." Okie replied.
"It's settled then! Meet us at the archery range at two-thirty, where we will defeat you!" Kit shouted.
"MEAT!" Dokie cried. The two angel cats rolled their eyes and flew away.
"Man, I can't wait for two-thirty!" Kapowski yelled.
"I can, I have a dentist appointment at two-thirty." Licorice said.
"Wow, I wouldn't want to be you at...tooth-hurty! Ha! Yeah, I had to, it was right there."
At two-thirty the audience assembled to watch the epic showdown, excluding Licorice who had an unfortunately-timed dentist appointment.
"This is going to be awesome!" Kapowski said, taking a seat in a folding chair. He set a glass of water down on a table next to him.
"Yeah, I know! I've been selling tickets for this thing all day!" Swindler responded.
"What? How did you get away with that? Didn't an administrator stop you?" Blue asked.
"Nope. I got them all front row seats and they let me go on about my business."
"Ladies and gentlemen! Please take your seats! The ultimate archery showdown is about to begin! Concessions are available at the snack table!" Mail Bird announced into his megaphone.
Kapowski looked over at the snack table, where Swindler now stood.
"Seriously? You're selling snacks too?" he asked.
"Of course man. Got to rake in that cash somehow." Swindler replied.
"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the ultimate archery showdown! In the corner, we have the two angelic felines with the best bow lines, give it up for Kit and Angeloooooooo!" Mail Bird shouted. The crowd cheered madly as the two cats ran onto the field, toting their bows and quivers with them.
"And in this corner, the prehistoric less-evolved marksmen of the Quaternary period, Okie and Dokie!!!!!!!" Mail Bird yelled. As the two cavemen dashed onto the field, the crowd remained silent. Someone coughed in the midst of the awkward silence.
"I uh, I see we have no clear fan-favorite tonight. Anyways, let's get ready to shoot some arrows! The two teams will participate in three events, the 150 meter target challenge, the time trial, and finally the apple-blasting test! First up, Okie and Dokie!" Mail Bird bellowed into the microphone.
Okie stepped up to the line marked on the field. One hundred fifty-meters away, the target stood, awaiting the many arrows that were to strike it.
Okie nocked an arrow and drew back the bowstring. After a few adjustments, he released the bowstring and the arrow arched through the air. It thudded into the target into the bulls-eye ring.
The crowd gasped collectively and then began to cheer.
"I guess since no-one had really seen the cavemen in action before, they all doubted they'd win. I guess that just changed a lot of minds, though." Kapowski commented.
Dokie fired his arrow. It landed in one of the inner rings, just above Okie's shot. The crowd exploded with applause once again.
"Next up, Kit and Angelo!" Mail Bird announced. The cats stepped up to the line marking. Kit fired an arrow. It soared through the air and struck into the bulls-eye ring.
"Amazing! This competition is really close folks! A real edge-of-your-seat showdown!" Mail Bird commented.
Angelo released his bowstring and the arrow flew off. It landed right next to Kit's arrow, inside the bulls-eye ring.
"Yes! Another bulls-eye!" Kit cheered. He high-fived Angelo in celebration.
"Okie, me think we need step up game." Dokie said.
"Me agree." Okie said.
"Oh, Tyra! Come here, girl!" Dokie called.
Kapowski looked down at the water glass he had set on the table. He gasped as the water rippled and the earth shook.
"Oh my goodness! A Tyrannosaurus Rex! Run for your lives!" Mail Bird shouted. The crowd screamed and ran, knocking over seats as they dashed away.
"Wait! Wait! Buy T-Rex repellant! It really works!" Swindler called from his kiosk as the crowd ran by. He sprayed some on himself. "See?"
Swindler was cut off when the T-Rex's foot came slamming down on top of him.
"Maybe I need another spritz." his muffled voice said from under the dinosaur's foot. The T-Rex roared again.
"What were you thinking?" Blue yelled at the two cavemen.
"Me was thinking that we can't afford loss. So, me call pet dinosaur to scare off competition." Dokie replied.
"Me agree." Okie added.
"Does he say anything besides that?" Kapowski asked. Dokie shrugged.
"Well your plan didn't work anyway, look!" Blue said.
They all looked over to see the two cat angels firing arrows at the T-Rex.
"No! Don't hurt Tyra!" Dokie yelled.
"Me agree!" Okie shouted.
"Well what else are we supposed to do? If we don't, it'll eat everyone!" Angelo yelled.
"There might be another way." Kit said. He drew an arrow from his quiver. The arrow had a red heart-shaped tip on it.
"What that?" Dokie asked.
"Something that'll calm Tyra down." Kit replied as he fired the arrow. It struck the rampaging dinosaur right in the neck. The dinosaur stopped roaring and laid down on the ground. It smiled and began to wag its tail.
"Tyra is as tame as a butterfly now." Kit said.
"Thank you for not hurting Tyra. You were right, you two best archers in school." Dokie said.
"Me agree." Okie added.
"Aw, well, you guys aren't so bad yourselves. Why don't you join the archery team?" Angelo offered.
"That sound nice." Dokie replied.
"Me agree." Okie said. The four archers walked off together, now good friends.
"Um, guys! I think you forgot something!" Kapowski yelled after them. He sighed.
"Hey Swindler, do you have any, um...giant T-Rex sized dog leashes?" Blue asked.
~Thanks to TestSubjectFan for his suggestion!
Episode Five-They See Me Rollin'...They Chasin'!
"Roly Poly! Roly Pooooly!" Justin called.
"Hey Justin, what's up? Why are you here, shouldn't you be over at BetterThanCuboy Academy right now?" Licorice asked.
"Yes, but right now I'm too busy. My pet porcupine is gone!" Justin replied.
"Aw, porcupines are so cute!"
"We'll help you find him, Justin. What's his name?" Snow asked.
"Roly Poly. I named him that because he likes to roll around a lot." Justin answered.
"Awwww, stop it, he sounds so cute I'm going to melt!" Licorice said.
"Um, yeah, he's pretty cute. Where's Kapowski and Blue?"
"Oh, they went on a field trip to the museum today. I would've gone, but it sounded boring." Swindler explained.
"So where did you last see him? If we retrace your steps, maybe we could find him." Snow said.
"Oh, well..." Justin began.
Justin opened the cast iron gate that led behind BetterThanCuboy Academy.
"Okay, never tell Austin that I let you back here." Justin said.
"What is this place?" Licorice asked.
"This is his secret hideout. He plans all of his evil schemes back here."
"Evil schemes?" Licorice asked.
"So this is where he works. I'd better take notes on this." Snow mumbled to herself.
"Okay, so the last place I saw him was in here. I'd brought him into the makeshift kitchen area to feed him lunch." Justin explained, leading them into a smaller area. An old beat-up mini-fridge and a small three-legged table occupied the makeshift kitchen area.
"I had accidentally dropped the canned porcupine food and it had rolled into the other room. I ran to get it out from under Austin's desk, and when I came back, Roly Poly was gone." he continued.
"Hmm, he must've been hungry and gotten out of the hideout to look for some food." Swindler suggested.
"Good idea! Let's check the cafeteria."
The group went to BetterThanCuboy Academy's cafeteria, a gray, dismal place where students sat quietly, munching on lumps of cold gruel.
"Wow, I'm glad I don't go to school here." Swindler said.
"Yeah, that's why I always pack a lunch. Hey! Over there! Porcupine tracks!" Justin shrieked.
They ran over to investigate.
"These are definitely Roly Poly's tracks. Let's follow them."
The tracks led them to the science classroom at Cuboy Academy.
"Now why would Roly Poly go here?" Licorice asked.
All of the sudden, they saw a small, brown, spiky ball sitting on a desk.
"There he is! Grab him!" Swindler shouted. Licorice leapt at the small porcupine.
"Got him! Ouch! Quills!" she screamed, releasing the porcupine. The porcupine rolled off the desk, onto the windowsill, and hopped out the window.
"Oh great, he's getting away!" Swindler cried.
"No! Roly Poly, come back! You'll get hurt out in the schoolyard!" Justin called after his beloved pet.
"Let's get out there quick!" Snow said.
They ran outside as fast as they could.
"I don't see him." Swindler said.
"He's over there! In the tennis courts!" Licorice shouted. They dashed to the tennis court.
"This is a weird looking tennis ball." Canary said.
"Ah, it's probably just a little dirty. Serve that thing up!" Arctic Arthur replied. Canary tossed Roly Poly into the air and swatted him over the net with his racket.
"No!" Justin shouted. The porcupine search party watched helplessly as the poor porcupine was launched back and forth though the air, their heads pivoting to watch Justin's pet trade between the two tennis players.
Swindler munched on popcorn. Justin looked at him, wide-eyed.
"How can you eat at a time like this?!" Justin yelled.
"It's got extra butter. Want some?" Swindler offered. Justin's jaw dropped open in disbelief.
"Okay, uh, here comes the airplane, then." Swindler replied, slowly moving the popcorn kernel towards Justin's mouth. Justin swatted his hand away in anger.
"Fine, I'll save you some for later."
"Aw man, the tennis ball flew out of the court. Go get it!" Canary called.
"No, you get it!" Arthur shouted back.
"We'll get it!" the porcupine search party chorused.
They ran from the tennis court after the bouncing porcupine.
"Thank goodness, I think he's finally coming to a stop." Justin said.
"Freeze!" the robotic guard shouted, roving towards Roly Poly.
"Ahhhhhh! Stop!" Justin yelled.
"Stop!" the robot said in agreement.
Suddenly, the robot literally froze in its tracks, ice crystals forming around it.
"Don't say I never did anything for you." Licorice said.
"Roly Poly! Oh, I'm so glad you are safe!" Justin said, lifting his beloved pet off of the ground.
The porcupine chattered at him.
"Don't you ever run away from me again! You scared me half to death!" Justin said, hugging the porcupine tighter.
"Don't those quills hurt you a lot?" Snow asked.
"When you have a pet porcupine, you learn to get used to the quills. I'm just happy that Roly Poly is safe. Thank you, guys, so much for helping me find him."
"No problem. We were probably going to sit around doing nothing in class today anyway with mostly everyone gone for the field trip." Swindler said.
"Hey, I think the buses are coming back now!" Snow said.
"Hey Kapowski, Blue, how was the...trip. What happened to you guys?" Swindler asked.
Kapowski and Blue were covered in black soot and were badly bruised.
"It's a long story...we'll tell you all about it in episode eight." Kapowski replied.
Justin gasped. "Don't break the fourth wall around my wittle Roly Poly! It's okay Roly Poly, we're going to go home now, away from that bad, bad man." he said, walking away.
"But, uh, I think I'd like to hear what you guys did today. Because you all have quills sticking out of your backs."
"What? Aw, man!" Licorice yelled.
Episode Six-Office Trap
"There, I've finally finished episode five." Plasmaster said, clicking the Publish button on the page. He pushed on his desk, propelling him back away from it in his red, cushioned swivel chair. He stood up, grabbed a few notes, and left his cubicle.
"Hey Plasmaster, is the new story out?" AustinCarter4ever asked as he walked by her cubicle.
"Yeah, I just released it. How's episode fourteen of NMDFanfictionMon coming?" he asked in reply.
"I should have it ready tonight." she replied.
"Awesome. I'm going to go and make some more hot cocoa, TSF has been bugging me for some all day. You want to come?"
"Sure! I need to get Pulu's frog food from the pantry anyway."
"Oh, is that what that was? Because I saw Port1967 eating some earlier."
"I hope he didn't eat all of it!"
"I don't think he did. There should be plenty of bugs left for Pulu."
"That's a relief. So, what's your idea for your next episode?"
"I'm not really sure. I have writer's block. I wanted to give some sort of insight into the inner workings of the series, but I'm not sure how."
"You'll figure something out. You always do!"
The two lovers of writing finally arrived at the kitchen. Klemen702 sat at the table, munching a spoonful of Cheerios and writing down notes for more article ideas.
"It's about time you're here! I can't figure out this hot cocoa machine for the life of me." TestSubjectFan said in greeting.
Plasmaster laughed. "It's good to see you too, TSF. First, you might want to plug it in."
TestSubjectFan blushed as he plugged the appliance into the wall outlet. He flicked it on.
"It works." he said bluntly. They all laughed.
"Guys! Guys! Staff meeting in two minutes in the conference room!" Port1967, the intern, shouted, running into the room.
"The staff meeting is tomorrow, Port." AC4E reminded.
"Nitrome Fan-Fiction Boss moved it up to today! He wants a progress report from everyone!" he replied, shaking his head frantically.
"Let's get down there fast, we don't want to be late." Plasmaster said.
"But what about the hot cocoa?" TestSubjectFan asked.
"Sorry TSF, we'll have to come back for it later. Nitrome Fan-Fiction Boss does not accept tardiness."
The quartet of journalists and the intern dashed to the elevator and zoomed to the conference room floor.
They reached the conference room just in time.
"Oh good, you got here just in the nick of time." FrostyFlyTrap said from his seat. They all took their seats and waited for Nitrome Fan-Fiction Boss to begin.
"All right, now that we are all here, let's begin. Has Nitrome released any new content recently?" Nitrome Fan-Fiction Boss asked.
"No new games since Ditto, but they have announced that they will soon be releasing Icebreaker's new level pack." NOBODY responded most professionally.
"Great, I want an unofficial Nitrome game article written on that by Thursday. On to the next thing. Author reports. First up, Klemen702."
Klemen702 rose from his seat, shaking rather nervously. He gulped. "I, uh, I have a new idea in the works for my Nitrome Creature Cooking article involving Oodlegob casserole."
"Sounds delicious. Next up is AC4E."
Klemen702 sighed and sat down in his seat, glad that his turn was over.
"I just finished writing episode fourteen of NMDFanfictionMon and will have it uploaded by tonight." she reported.
"Can't wait to read it. Next, TestSubjectFan." Nitrome Fan-Fiction Boss said.
TestSubjectFan gave a brief update on the current workings of Test Subject Swap, with GouchnoxWiki piping in at times to fill in info on level design.
Finally, it was Plasmaster's turn.
"I just released episode five of Cuboy Academy and will have episode six ready by tomorrow." Plasmaster reported.
"All right, sounds great. Look everyone, now that we have all of the formalities out of the way, I'll tell you why I called this meeting earlier than scheduled. The Nitrome Fan-Fiction Daily newspaper is losing readers. I think we need to come out with something new, something bold, something amazing. Which is why I am grouping my four best writers on a collaborative story together. It may be what we need to save the newspaper. You can make it about anything you want," he said.
"As long as it involves Nitrome elements," NOBODY piped in.
"Yes, and I want it to be good. You have until Friday."
"FRIDAY!?" the four writers chorused.
"Is that going to be a problem?"
"Well, that's just not a whole lot of time..." TestSubjectFan said.
"I know. But we are losing hundreds of readers each day. We need something fast. I know you'll do well."
The four of them returned to the break room.
"What will our story be about?" Plasmaster asked.
"We could do an adventure story involving Blue and the Professor." TestSubjectFan offered.
"Or maybe a twelve page special edition of NMDFanfictionMon!" AC4E suggested.
"I think we need to think bigger. If we release just a longer version of things we already have, it won't get as much appeal as something...you know, outrageous!" Plasmaster said.
They thought about it over hot cocoa, which TestSubjectFan was most pleased with.
"I've got an idea. Let's do a series cross-over. People love Cuboy Academy, and people love NMDFanfictionMon. Maybe what they want is mash-up kind of thing." Klemen702 suggested.
"Yeah, I like it!" TestSubjectFan said. "Klemen702 and I will help you guys with the plot and dialogue, and then you guys can do the writing and illustrating."
"Let's do it." Plasmaster and AC4E said together. The four journalists high-fived four-way like they do in the movies, and then they began their montage scene.
The montage included lots of writing, typing, editing, brainstorming, illustrating, hot-cocoa-drinking, high-fiving, and finally, uploading.
"Wow, I'm really satisfied with our final product." AC4E said.
"Yeah, it all came together so well!" Klemen702 said.
"I loved the part when Snow thought that Bennet was Justin and had a big misunderstanding. That was a nice touch, TSF." Plasmaster commented.
"Thanks." TestSubjectFan replied.
"Wow, that montage really made time seem to pass by fast. It's Thursday night already. Let's get this uploaded and then show it to Nitrome Fan-Fiction Boss tomorrow morning."
They uploaded the story and then, after a good night's sleep, showed it to Nitrome Fan-Fiction Boss. So, basically what Plasmaster just said.
"This article is...astounding! You've collaborated before, but this, this is just...outstanding! I guarantee this will put our paper back on top! You four have done it! In fact, you really surpassed my expectations."
"So...we finally get raises?" Klemen702 asked hopefully.
"No. But, Plasmaster can wake up now."
"Wake up? What do you mean?" Plasmaster asked. Suddenly, the conference room and everything else began to fade away, until it was replaced by a view of a ceiling. Plasmaster sat up in bed and flicked off the alarm.
He sighed. "Time for another long day of school. I don't know how I can contain my excitement, today's new episode is going to be something special."
~Thanks to the Nitrome Fan-Fiction Wikian team, you guys inspire me to do so much and I wanted to give you a special thank you. I hope you enjoyed your cameos!
Episode Seven-True Ninja
"Wow, you've been working here for twenty years now?" Snow asked. The group were gathered in the lunch line, talking to Taki the head security guard.
"Yes indeed. Today is my twentieth anniversary working at the school and to celebrate, I am throwing a big party tonight in the cafeteria." Taki replied.
The whole group began to buzz with excitement.
"Ooh, will there be cake?" Kapowski asked.
"You know there will, it's a party!" Taki said in answer.
"What time is the party at?" Licorice asked.
"Six o' clock, don't miss it! The whole school will be there."
"We wouldn't miss it for the world." Swindler said.
"Wait, think about what you're saying. You're saying that if the world depended on you not going to this party, you'd go anyway and risk ending the world?" Rex asked.
"It's a figure of speech, Rex." Blue explained.
"Why must you all use speech figures so often? Does it not make more sense to speak in literal terms?"
"Oh, by the way, could you guys bring in some sort of dish for the party?" Taki asked.
"Of course. I'll make my world-famous triple chocolate, fudge-rippled, sugar-smacked brownie bars!" Kapowski replied.
"Are they really world famous?"
"No, they're not. They were a big hit at ONE bake sale, and all of the sudden he gets a big head about them." Swindler answered.
"Not true! They were also popular at your basketball banquet and Snow's birthday party."
"Fine, so they were eaten by the same people on three different occasions. Whoop-dee-doo."
"We'll bring in something, Taki. See you tonight!" Snow said.
"Dude, hurry up, we're going to be late!" Swindler complained. He and Kapowski were at Kapowski's house, in the kitchen.
"Licorice is out front in the car waiting for us, hurry up!" Swindler nagged again.
"Not yet, the brownies will be ready in three minutes. They can cool down in the car on the way if they have to, but we can't show up empty-handed." Kapowski replied.
"Fine, just hurry up."
"Oh sure, let me just make two and a half minutes go by faster with my chronokinetic powers." Kapowski replied.
"I could do without the sarcasm."
A while later, the brownies were done and Kapowski pulled them out of the oven. Licorice honked the horn out front.
"C'mon, let's go!" Swindler urged.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming!" Kapowski responded, grabbing the brownies as they raced out the front door.
At last, they made it to the school and entered the cafeteria. Except the room was very dark and obviously empty.
"Taki! Taki! We're here for the party! Geez, where is everyone?" Swindler asked.
"I don't know...why is it so dark in here?" Kapowski questioned.
"Because it's a trap!" a voice shouted as the lights blared on. "That's right, I tricked you all. The party was fake!"
Kapowski gasped. "You mean...the cake was a lie?!"
"Wait...who are you?" Licorice asked.
"I am Taki's sworn enemy and former employer, Akuma."
"Wait...I thought Taki destroyed you all those years ago!" Kapowski said.
"That's what he thought. But I managed to download some of my cyborg brain's data into an artificial android that then built me a new body out of artificial organic material!"
"Why do that? You know you could've just used the android as your body. You must've wasted a few years on a new body that you had no reason to build. You could've--"
"Enough! Time for you to join the rest of your school in the basement."
"Was the party moved down there?" Swindler asked.
"Dude, there's no party." Kapowski explained.
"No, the basement is my makeshift prison area thing. I'm tired of explaining this. Cyber samurais, take them away!" Akuma ordered.
Two cyber samurais in neat dark suits came out of the darkness, armed with katanas.
"Not so fast!" a voice called. A single spotlight went on.
"Takeshi! At last you have arrived." Akuma said.
"About time, who shows up late to their own party?" Swindler said.
"There's no party!" Kapowski repeated.
"I'm on to your plan, Akuma. Disguising yourself as me in order to invite everyone to a fake party that is a secretly a trap, that was clever. But true ninja knows opponent's plan before opponent does." Taki said.
"Then why didn't you stop me before?" Akuma asked.
"Why are there lips moving after we hear them say the words? Is this some kind of reference to really old, tacky Japanese movies?" Kapowski asked.
"True ninja lies in wait for their prey, ready to strike at a moment's notice." Taki said.
"Well in that case, it seems my prey is here, and the time to strike is now. Cyber samurais, attack!" Akuma commanded. The cyber samurais charged at Taki. Taki threw ninja stars at them, which they deflected with their katanas.
"Whoa, this party has a show too!" Swindler said.
"Hon. there is no party. It was a fake." Licorice explained.
"Well why didn't anyone say anything?" Swindler said. Kapowski rolled his eyes in disbelief.
"No! My samurais!" Akuma shouted as his robotic warriors were at last defeated by Takeshi.
"Give it up, Akuma. You're out of options." Taki said.
"Oh, am I? This new body is made of powerful artificial material. I am unstoppable!"
Taki charged at Akuma and swiped at him. Akuma's left arm fell off.
"Oh, boy. I probably should have added some sinews to this body..."
Taki ninja kicked and karate-chopped Akuma left and right, until Akuma was nothing but a head.
"There, you're not much of a threat now." Taki said.
"Put me down, I will destroy you!" Akuma cried.
"Come on, don't get...a-HEAD of yourself!"
They all laughed (except for Akuma) hysterically at Taki's punny joke.
"So, wait, who is that guy with only a head for a body?" Swindler asked.
Kapowski shook his head in exasperation.
Episode Eight-Mom's Museum
"Blue, look! A scale model diorama of the Enzyme Wars of the 1990's! Blue? What's wrong?" Kapowski asked. The two of them were on a field trip to a museum.
"I just wish the others were here, that's all. It just isn't as fun without them." Blue replied.
"Ah, Blue. They're missing out. They're probably doing something boring, like doing bookwork, or listening to a boring lecture, or chasing a porcupine."
"Yeah, you're probably right."
"C'mon, we can find another group to hang with, just for today at least."
"Okay, I guess that'd be cool. How about those guys?" Blue asked. He indicated a group of tough, angry, muscular guys, Hallbert and Bubble Gum included.
"Uh, how about we just stick with the guys in back?" Kapowski replied.
They looked over at Zapo and Teeno, who were admiring an artifact shaped like a cube with a crude smiley face carved into it.
"Nah, those guys are nerds." Blue said.
"Exactly, I'll fit right in!" Kapowski protested.
"Class, it's time to move on to the next exhibit. I can't wait to see that potato chip that looks just like Norman Noggin!" Professor announced, leading the field trip group into the next room.
Blue sighed. "My dad can be so embarrassing sometimes."
"My security systems indicate that something else is monitoring us. I cannot break the firewall to trace the source. Something is wrong." Rex209 announced.
"Rex, there are dozens of people in this room. Of course someone probably glanced us over for a second." Kapowski assured.
"I suppose...I'll keep trying to break the firewall."
Blue groaned. "Why did I come here again?"
"Class I'd like to remind you all that we came here to learn...and also get cool stuff at the gift shop!" Professor said.
"Oh yeah, that's why..."
Kapowski laughed. "I'm going to get a 'Make Games and Shut Up' T-shirt. What are you going to get?"
"I don't know, maybe I'll see if they have any--" Blue began.
"I have traced the source. I cannot name it, but I have found its location." Rex announced.
"Rex, will you stop talking about that? It isn't important." Kapowski said.
"Wait...I think Rex's goose chase may be a little fun. More fun than looking at all this junk anyway." Blue said.
Kapowski sighed. "Fine, lead the way Rex. But we'd better hurry, the buses are leaving in half an hour."
Rex led them through a series of rooms and corridors, finally coming to a room labeled 'Employees Only'.
"Well, we tried. But the sign says employees only, so I guess the adventure stops here." Kapowski said.
"No. I sense that whatever this thing is, it is evil. We must stop it." Rex replied.
"What would an evil thing be doing in a museum?!" Kapowski shouted.
"Who cares? Let's break some rules!" Blue shouted as Rex blasted the door off its hinges.
"You could have just opened it you know. The loud explosion defeats the whole purpose of stealth." Kapowski said.
"Whatever, lets go kill some evil stuff! Wooo!" Blue shouted as he and Rex plunged down the stairwell. Kapowski ran after them reluctantly.
"It's through this door." Rex said, charging up her proton cannon.
"Can we just open it this time?" Kapowski asked, turning the knob.
"NOPE!" Blue yelled as Rex blasted the door away.
"You could've killed me!" Kapowski cried.
"Could have doesn't count." Blue said. The trio walked through the door. A large metal machine stood in the room's center. It had pink lights going around its cylindrical body and a green glass dome sat on top. Electricity hummed within the dome.
"Ah, welcome. I have been waiting for you to come." the machine said.
"Why me?" Kapowski asked.
"Not you, human. I have been waiting for Rex209."
"Rex209 is a very special robot, very powerful. She will be general of my robot army, once I corrupt her."
"You will never corrupt me. I won't let you." Rex said.
"Yeah!" the two boys said in agreement.
"Well, then it seems I will have to take you by force, Rex209. As for you two boys, it seems you are about to become the immediate past co-presidents of the Being Alive Club, ha-ha." the machine said in a monotone voice.
"Stop referencing Portal, you fiend!" Kapowski shouted.
"Very well. Time for you to blow up. For science."
"What did I just tell you about the ref-ahhh!" Kapowski was cut off by an explosion as the machine launched bombs at the trio. They split up, and the machine focused its bombardment on Kapowski.
"Why are you targeting me?!" he shouted.
"I cannot risk damaging my new general. Once I corrupt her I will extract the blue enzyme and lock him in the room where all of the robots scream at you." the machine replied.
"Is that--" Blue began.
"Yes, another reference to Portal. Die evil robot!" Kapowski shouted, finally getting enough courage to charge the machine.
"You cannot defeat me. I am unstoppable." the machine said.
"Oh yeah? Well then what does this big red button do?" Kapowski asked.
"That particular button activates my self-destruct sequence that--oh, I probably shouldn't have answered that."
Kapowski slammed down the button.
"No!" the machine screamed before exploding spectacularly. The explosion blasted Blue (in Rex209) and Kapowski out of the building, where they landed out on the sidewalk. The buses were beginning to load up with students.
"Come children, time to go. If you didn't go to the gift shop for a souvenir because you snuck off to, I don't know, fight an evil robot, that's too bad. You'll have to get something next time." Professor said.
"Dang it!" Blue shouted. He and Blue were covered in black soot and bruises from the explosion.
They clambered into the bus.
"Wait till the guys back at the school hear about this, they're going to be so disappointed that they didn't go." Blue said.
Kapowski didn't answer.
"Kapowski, you okay? You haven't spoken since the explosion."
"WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! ALL I HEAR IS RINGING IN MY EARS!" Kapowski yelled.
"Oh, okay. I hope that wears off before we get home."
"SOAP SMEARS OFF THE GNOME? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT? WHY ARE YOU TALKING NONSENSE?"
Episode Nine-On the Hunt for a Job
"I'm sorry, did I hear you correctly?" Kapowski asked. "Did you say...job?!"
"Yeah, I'm going to get a job. I figured it was about time I start thinking about college funds. My athletic scholarship won't cover all of the tuition, after all." Swindler replied.
"Let me guess, your dad cut you off of your allowance and you need money fast?"
"So where are you thinking of getting a job?" Blue asked.
"I have several applications. I just need to fill them out and then turn 'em in. Then I'll take whichever job offers back first."
"Aren't you worried about getting a boring job?" Snow asked.
"Nope, I've got three job possibilities that are bound to be a heck of a good time. A tank designer for Steamlands Inc., a test subject at Xeno Industries, and an employee at Off the Rails Taco Hut. And boy, I do love tacos!"
"Well, good luck on whichever one you get."
"Hey Kapowski, maybe you should apply, then we could work together."
"Sorry, but I have to work on my science project for the science fair. My project is a molecular duplication ray!" Kapowski responded excitedly.
"So...its a gun that clones things?" Blue asked.
"Yes...to put it in simpler terms."
"Well, I've got to go fill these out. Good luck with your project." Swindler said.
Later, Swindler arrived at the lunch table with great news.
"Guys, Steamlands Inc. called and offered me a job! I start after school today." he blurted.
"Good for you!" Licorice said.
"Yeah, um...what is that thing?" Swindler asked, pointing at Kapowski's ray gun.
"This is my molecular duplication ray. Blue and I were just calibrating it. We're almost done. Just need to cut two inches off of this red wire." Kapowski explained.
"Inches? I thought we were using the metric system!" Blue exclaimed. Kapowski groaned.
"Now we have to start all over. Hand me the Allan wrench."
After school, Swindler began his new job as a tank designer.
"What do you mean it can't be completely made of cannons? It increases firepower and firing rate!" Swindler complained.
"But there is no power source for the cannons, Mr. Swindler. Do you have any experience whatsoever in astrophysics, pyrotechnics, or weaponry?" the tank engineer asked.
"Oh, are those what those words were on the application? I didn't know what they meant so I just circled yes."
"But you've got to admit, that's an awesome tank design, right?"
"No. You're fired."
"He fired me! He fired me because I didn't know anything about astronauts and physics and weapons and stuff." Swindler complained. He was back at the school. Kapowski was setting up his booth at the science fair.
"Gee, they're definitely going to miss you." Kapowski replied.
"Yeah they will, my tank design was awesome!"
"Obviously you don't know about sarcasm either."
"It's all right though, I got an interview at Xeno Industries. New job here I come!" With that, Swindler departed.
"All right Blue, you ready to test the molecular duplication ray?"
"Ready! Zap the melon!" Blue cheered. Kapowski took aim and pulled the trigger, a beam of green light blasting out of it. The watermelon on the table flashed white and then divided into two melons, similar to mitosis in a cell.
"I am totally getting first prize!" Kapowski yelled.
"All right, so you have past experience as a tank designer...very impressive! How long were you in the business?" the scientist asked Swindler. Swindler was dressed sharply for his big interview.
"About ten minutes." Swindler answered. The scientist slouched at this sudden disappointment.
"I'm sorry, I don't think we are looking for anyone with--" the scientist began.
"Wait!" Swindler shouted.
"Um...I'm friends with an enzyme."
"And that should get you the job because...?"
"He's a blue enzyme."
"Okay, that's nice. Good for you. Now, out of my office."
"He didn't even give me the job! I had references and everything! Thanks by the way Blue." Swindler said. He was now back at the science fair. The science fair was in full swing and a crowd had arrived to gawk at all of the crazy contraptions and experiments.
"No problem." Blue replied. "Wait...what?"
"Swindler, you should apply for jobs that you would be good at. Honestly, jobs that require knowledge...they're not your métier." Kapowski said.
"My what?" Swindler asked.
"They're not what you're best suited for."
"Just go and call Off the Rails Taco Hut. I'm sure they're eager to hire someone of your...skill set."
"Okay!" Swindler ran off.
"Blue, the judges are coming, put the apples out on the table, it’s time for more molecular duplicating!"
"Dude, just call it cloning." Blue said.
"Welcome to the Off the Rails Taco Hut, may I take your order?"
"Yes, I'll have a number 2 with extra...Swindler, is that you?" Licorice asked from her car in the drive thru.
"Yeah, Off the Rails Taco Hut gave me a job here!" Swindler replied.
"Well, thanks to me you guys are about to have a lot of business. I invited everyone at the school's baseball game to come here after the game for a spirit night! Isn't that great?"
"Hey, Swindler, my brother and I are going to go to our cross country practice, so you and Guillermo are going to take the night shift tonight." Swindler's boss, a cactus man, said.
The two cactus brothers left.
"Oh no, how are we supposed to handle all of these people coming?! We can't make food that fast, I just started this job!" Swindler cried.
"Swindler, Swindler!" Licorice yelled.
"I still haven't gotten my food."
"Man, how did I get second prize? That guy's grass growth acceleration formula was totally just genetically engineered fertilizer!" Kapowski said as he and Blue left the science fair.
"Those judges were really boring. I guess they liked the fact that they could now watch grass grow faster." Blue replied.
"Incoming call from: Swindler." Rex209 announced.
"Answer it." Blue commanded. Suddenly, Swindler's panicked voice was transmitted through the speakers. Lots of yelling was heard in the background.
"Guys, you've got to help me! This crowd is too big! We can't make tacos fast enough to feed them all quickly like our company slogan promises! Yes sir, I'll be right with you. Yes, ma'am, I'll have your taco out here 'Faster than a speeding train!' Sorry, talking to customers. Please hurry!"
"Hey Blue, I think my invention might be able to help Swindler." Kapowski said.
"I'm sorry I messed up your order, I'm just really stressed right now! Yes, one moment, sir. No, I'm not a green enzyme! Somebody help!!!!!" Swindler cried.
Snow and Licorice sat at a table in a corner.
"Wait...where's Guillermo?" Snow asked. They looked under their table to find the trembling form of the stressed Henchman.
"Guillermo, get out from under there and help Swindler!" Licorice shouted.
Guillermo whimpered and pulled his blue helmet down over his face, trembling with more ferocity.
Suddenly, the door swung open, a loud bang sounding as it hit the wall. The whole room went quiet.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I, am Kapowski, and you will get your tacos!" Kapowski announced, standing in the doorway triumphantly. He and Blue made their way to the kitchen.
"Oh thank goodness you came to help!" Swindler said.
"Yeah, no problem. Now, make one taco."
"One? I have like thirty orders to fill right now!"
"We only need one." Kapowski said, holding up his cloning gun.
Within ten minutes, all of the customers had been served and fed.
"Wow, that was amazing Kapowski!" Swindler said.
"If you liked this invention, wait 'til you see what I have planned for next year's science fair! It's a pair of gloves that can stick to any flat surf-" Kapowski began.
"Yeah, yeah, that's nice, now clone up a few tacos for us man!" Blue said.
Episode Ten-World 7-1: The World of Drama!
"The curtain is rising, you're on!" Snow said.
Guillermo trembled with nervousness.
"I can't do it!" he cried. He ran out of the room, pulling his helmet down over his eyes.
"Oh no, without Guillermo, the show can't go on!" Snow said.
Swindler picked up a helmet and put it on. "But it must!" he declared.
EARLIER THAT DAY...
"Have you gotten tickets to tonight's school play?" Licorice asked.
"You mean Cheese Dreams New Moon? I'm not going to watch it." Snow replied.
"Because I have a starring role in the play!"
"That's great, Snow! Who are you playing?" Swindler asked.
"I will be playing the part of the Sun! That's right, I'm going to be part of the big finale!"
"I can't wait to see it!" Kapowski said.
Suddenly, Canary ran over to the group.
"Snow, Snow! I have horrible news!" he said.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Fluffykins broke his leg and now he can't perform!"
"What part was Fluffykins playing?" Licorice asked.
"He was the main role, the Moon!" Canary replied.
"That is unfortunate, but he has an understudy, right?" Kapowski asked.
"That's probably the worst part of it."
"Why, who is his understudy?" Blue asked.
"Guillermo? But he's so shy! How did he even build enough courage to audition?"
"Apparently he can act pretty well in front of two or three people, but a whole audience? The play is doomed!" Snow explained.
"Oh come on, have a little confidence in him. I've worked alongside him at the Off the Rails Taco Hut, and once you get to know him, he isn't as shy as he looks." Swindler said.
"I don't know..."
"Don't worry, he knows me. I'll help bring out his best at your dress rehearsal before the play."
"Anything that would save the play would be most appreciated. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and practice my lines: Stay out of my way pipsqueak, or I will melt you into a delicious cheese fondue!" Canary said as he left the group at their lunch table.
Later after school, Swindler, Rex, and Blue joined Snow at her dress rehearsal to help prepare the actors for the play.
"Blue? what are you doing here?" Snow asked.
"Rex signed up for the set crew for the play and 'forgot to tell me about it'. So now I'm helping too." Blue responded.
"Oh, all right. Swindler, Guillermo is over there in the corner. He's already in costume so he should be pretty easy to spot. Rex, you can help with testing the lights and sound systems, and Blue, you can help with my make-up." Snow said.
Blue laughed nervously.
"What makes you think I'd be good at that?" he mumbled.
"Don't try and hide it Blue, I saw your cosmetics license in your wallet." Snow snapped.
Blue gulped as beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
"All right, you got me. Just don't tell Kapowski." he said as they walked off together.
Guillermo read over his lines again and again, but his nervousness kept making him forget them.
"Ahhh! An alien space ship!" Guillermo shouted, practicing his lines.
"Hey Guillermo!" Swindler called.
"Ahhh! Oh, it's just you Swindler."
"Nice work on your lines."
"Thanks, but I've still got so many lines to remember! I just can't do it."
"Sure you can. Remember when you started working the drive thru window, and you said you couldn't talk to so many people in such a short amount of time?"
"And then I helped you through the first couple, and then after that you worked the drive thru window for the rest of the week?"
"Well, it was Saturday to be fair...there wasn't much left of the week to be had, so..."
"You're missing the point Guillermo! What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid that I'll mess up and that the whole crowd will laugh at me. There's just so many people, all staring at me, all judging me..."
"They're not there to judge you, they're there to see a great show. Besides, they won't know if you screw up, they don't know the script."
"So you're saying it's okay if I mess up? I don't think that's very encouraging."
"Well yeah it's okay to make mistakes, but you should still try your hardest to do your best."
"You're starting to sound like those motivational speakers that my mom watches on DVD, Swindler."
The two of them laughed.
"All right, now why don't we practice your lines?"
After the dress rehearsal, the actors and set crew gathered backstage as the crowd filed into their seats.
"Okay, one more time," Swindler said, clearing his throat, "'Hey little dude, think you can help me off of this ship? That'd be totally tubular, man!'"
"Oh, um...sure thing, Mr. Saturn. But we'd better watch out for the space mice." Guillermo replied.
"Perfect, just do exactly that on stage and you'll do fine."
"Whoa, Snow! Who did your make-up? You look great."
"Thanks Swindler. It was Blue." Snow replied.
"I told you not to tell anyone!" Blue whined.
"No, you said not to tell Kapowski. So, how's it looking out there, is it a good turn-out?"
"I don't know, let me check." Guillermo replied. He poked his head out through the curtains. He gasped at the immense crowd that had gathered to watch the show.
Out in the crowd, Licorice and Kapowski had taken their seats.
"Hey, there's Guillermo! Hi Guillermo!" Kapowski shouted from the crowd. Guillermo gulped and pulled his head out of the curtains.
"Well?" Snow asked.
Guillermo didn't reply.
"Guillermo?" Blue asked. Guillermo was breathing very heavily.
"I think he is hyperventilating." Rex209 informed.
"Guillermo, calm down!" Swindler said. Instead of calming down, Guillermo fainted to the floor. They all crowded around him.
"Guillermo, are you all right?" Snow asked.
"Splash some water on him." Rex209 suggested. Swindler splashed a glass of water on Guillermo, waking him up.
"Guillermo, are you going to be okay?" Swindler asked. Guillermo nodded and stood up.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for..." Mail Bird announced to the audience in front of the curtains.
"The curtain is rising, you're on!" Snow said.
Guillermo trembled with nervousness.
"I can't do it!" he cried. He ran out of the room, pulling his helmet down over his eyes.
"Oh no, without Guillermo, the show can't go on!" Snow said.
Swindler picked up a helmet and put it on. "But it must!" he declared.
The red velvet curtains rose and the spotlights turned on. The crowd clapped as the show began.
"Well, after a long night of being the Moon, it's time for me to rest." Swindler said. He laid down on the floor, wearing the spare Moon costume they had backstage.
From stage right, the Rainbogeddon Twins came in holding up a cardboard spaceship that resembled a large mouse.
"Ahhh! An alien spaceship!" Swindler cried, sitting up on the ground. The cardboard spaceship zoomed towards the left, Swindler vanishing from sight as he hid behind the mock spaceship. The curtains closed briefly as the set crew changed the backdrops and setting.
"What are you doing? You can't play the moon!" Snow cried.
"But I can! I've been practicing with Guillermo all afternoon and I've learned all of his lines." Swindler responded.
"Oh...I guess you can then. Quick, they're re-opening the curtains, go!"
Swindler raced back on stage.
An hour later, the show came to a close. The crowd applauded as the show ended.
"Great job, Swindler! You were fantastic!" Canary commented.
"Thanks." Swindler said.
"Yeah, you were great." Guillermo said. "I'm sorry I left, I'm just too afraid to go in front of so many people."
"That's all right Guillermo. Hey, I want to show you something." Swindler said. He took Guillermo out onto the stage. The crowd had since left, but dozens of chairs still occupied the auditorium.
"Rex, hit the lights!" Swindler called. Rex turned on the spotlights, bathing the stage in blinding light. Guillermo looked out towards the open auditorium.
"Hey, I can't even see anything out there! The lights are too bright!" Guillermo said.
"Yeah, but the crowd could still see us." Snow explained.
"Maybe it would help not being able to see the crowd."
"So, do you think you'll be able to do tomorrow night's show?" Snow asked.
Guillermo laughed. "After Swindler's performance tonight, I think you'd better keep him as the role of the Moon."
"Yeah, you would be able to, except that I'm going to Hollywood tomorrow. A major Hollywood producer loved my performance! I've been discovered! See you suckers!" Swindler shouted, running out the door.
Suddenly, the scene warped. The group of friends were all sitting at their lunch table.
"And that's exactly what would happen if I were to be discovered." Swindler said, finishing his tale.
"Wow, great story. I like the part where you made up that thing about Blue having a cosmetics license." Kapowski commented.
Blue laughed uncomfortably.
"Yeah, he totally made that up..." Blue said.
Episode Eleven-A Worm Among Us
"Ahhhhhhhhh! Please don't eat us!" Blue shouted. He had been chasing after his runaway homework when the earthquake had started.
Before he and Rex knew what was happening, a giant black worm with four eyes and a monstrous ring of fangs burst out of the earth, shrieking ferociously.
"Eat you? Why would I do that?" the giant worm asked in its extremely ominous, raspy, and all-around scare-your-pants-off voice.
"Um, because you're a giant monst-" Blue began.
Rex cut him off. "Blue, don't be rude. Sorry, you just startled us. I am Rex209 and this is my friend Blue. It is very nice to meet you. What is your name?"
"I am Wilbur. And don't worry about me eating you, my mom says that giant worms are simply malnutritioned when they eat raw meat. I only eat cooked flesh." the giant worm replied.
"Your scary voice would say otherwise." Blue mumbled.
"What was that? You're going to have to speak up, my hearing isn't very good due to my lack of ears. Then again, my eyesight is also terrible...I really just go by smell and touch, really."
"That's very interesting. Wilbur, are you a student at Cuboy Academy?" Rex209 asked as politely as she could in her robotic voice.
"Yes, I'm a Junior at the school. Up until now I only ever had classes underground with an at-home tutor, but my tutor finally thinks I'm ready to begin taking classes on the surface. It sure is bright up here, though."
"Well, in that case, welcome to the surface! Would you like a tour of the school?" Rex asked.
"Rex, stop volunteering me to help people! Besides, how are you going to show Wilbur the whole school? He can't exactly fit. The only way he'd ever be able to get in is to burrow under the school and smash through the floor." Blue said.
"I can't believe he just burrowed under the school and smashed through the floor!" Blue cried as the dust cleared and the rubble settled on the ground.
"Wow, it's kind of crowded in here." Wilbur said.
"Are you kidding? Rex, why would you let him do this? I mean sure, you got lucky enough that the gym was empty right now, but even after he leaves, Coach Rico is going to throw a cow when he sees this damage! And I'm speaking quite literally, one time he got so mad he hammer-threw a cow all the way over the track field. Set the new school record."
"Calm down, Blue. I'm sure once everyone meets Wilbur, they'll understand the certain ramifications that need to be taken in order for him to attend school here."
"And that includes thousands of dollars in property damage and possible life-threatening danger to the school's populous?!"
"You know, sometimes as a robot, you become so linear-minded. You show Wilbur around, I'm going to go find the others. They'll talk some sense into you." Blue said, hopping out of Rex. He shuffled out of the gym.
"Wilbur, this is the gym, where everyone undergoes extreme amounts of unnecessary physical taxation and torture. Or at least, that's how my friend Kapowski puts it." Rex explained.
"You have other friends?" Wilbur asked.
"Yes. I have many friends at the school. There are also many other students that are not my friends, but I'm sure they'd take a liking to you."
"Wow...how many people go to this school?"
"Hundreds? Wow! I can't wait to meet everybody. I've never had a friend before, except for you and Blue. And my imaginary friend, Pappy."
"Oh? Who's Pappy?"
"He's my imaginary friend. Underground there wasn't anyone to talk to but my parents and my tutor, so I made up my own friend. Pappy is nice. He's a little shy, and doesn't talk much. But what else can you expect from a potato?"
"Yeah, I'm not very imaginative...one time I was just tunneling and came upon a potato farm, and...well, the rest is history."
"You have very interesting stories Wilbur. I'm sure everyone is going to love you."
"Awesome! So, where to next?"
"Our next stop is in the cafeteria. That's where we eat lunch everyday."
"Good, because I'm starving!"
With that, Rex209 walked out of the room. Wilbur dove into the floor, tunneling downwards into the ground. Two massive tunnels were left in his place.
Coach Rico walked in, looking at his clipboard. He dropped it upon seeing the great holes in the middle of his gym. He turned red in anger.
"Billy! Bring me the throwing cows!" he ordered.
"Hi guys." Rex said, approaching the others at the table.
"There you are! We were wondering where you were. Blue came up to us and started spurting gibberish. We couldn't understand him without your translation program." Licorice said.
"I was showing Wilbur around."
"Who's Wilbur?" Snow asked. Suddenly the ground began to quake. Blue started screaming again in his unintelligible blob-language.
"What, Blue?" Kapowski asked. Blue sighed and hopped inside Rex.
"I said: ahem...RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!" Blue yelled.
Wilbur busted through the tile floor, sending rubble and shrapnel flying about. Students screamed in terror and ran from the mighty beast.
"Rex! There you are!" Wilbur said.
"Rex! That thing is after you! Run!" Snow shouted.
"No, he isn't after me, he's my friend!" Rex shouted over the chaos. Nobody heard her. Everyone dashed from the cafeteria. Soon, only Wilbur, Rex, and Blue were left.
"I don't understand, I thought they would all really like me. You said so yourself, Rex." Wilbur said sadly--if it were possible to discern sadness in that demonic voice of his, that is.
"Why won't anyone be my friend?" Wilbur asked.
"Um, maybe because you are a gigantic flesh-eating worm monster?" Rex guessed.
"So they're...afraid of me?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Fine! Then I'll give them something to be afraid of! GRAWRAWRAWRAWRAW!"
"Wilbur, no!" Rex cried. Wilbur didn't listen. He burrowed down into the ground, tossing debris through the air as he blasted through the floor.
"We've got to follow him. I'll use my seismograph instruments to track him." Rex said.
"Great, Rex has to be a hero again." Blue complained as they took off after Wilbur.
Soon they found Wilbur in the gym, roaring at a cowering group of students.
Rex took aim at Wilbur with her proton cannon.
"Sorry old friend." she said before blasting him several times.
"Old friend? You just met the guy!" Blue shouted.
The proton blasts definitely got Wilbur's attention. He turned and shrieked at them before surging towards them.
"Great, now you got his attention, so what's your next plan?" Blue asked.
"Run." Rex said.
"Great plan, you're a genius!" Blue yelled sarcastically as they fled from the terrifying monster.
"Man, if only you hadn't spent so much time around him, he wouldn't know what you smelled like. Then he wouldn't be able to track us!" Blue complained.
"Wait, Blue that's it! We need to use his bad hearing and vision against him. All right, here's the plan..."
While the two of them conversed about their plan from their hiding place in the science classroom, Wilbur was continuing his rage-driven hunt.
"Where are you?! I know you're around here somewhere..." he yelled.
He looked behind him. He squinted his eyes at the blurry figure in front of him.
"Aha! There you are, Rex. Here I come!" he screamed, tunneling towards the figure in the hall. The figure stood there, unmoving. Wilbur smashed into it, breaking it into a thousand pieces.
"That'll teach you to attack me, Rex!" he yelled in triumph.
"Now guys!" Rex yelled from behind Wilbur.
Suddenly, the entire student body leapt out of lockers, classrooms, closets, ceiling panels, and any crevice they could find in that hallway, all armed with cameras.
"This is going to look good on the school newspaper!" Canary yelled, switching his camera on.
"Everyone, set cameras to flash! Ready! Aim! Fire!" Rex commanded. Wilbur yelled as his poor eyes were bombarded with hundreds of blinding flashes of light from the cameras. He shrieked in pain before finally crashing to the ground, dazed and tired.
"Selfie!" Professor yelled, snapping a picture of himself next to the unconscious worm.
Later that day, everyone was outside the school. Half the people were talking to police officers who had arrived on the scene while everyone else was either having their injuries patched up or trying to arrange a ride home. The entire school was allowed early dismissal for emotional trauma.
"Yeah, the whole camera thing was my idea. I know, I'm a hero, but please, no pictures." Hallbert said during his interview.
"I think the local newspapers are going to have their story very...warped." Kapowski said.
"You've got that right." Blue said.
"By the way Blue, thanks for letting me use your old protosuit as a decoy." Rex said.
"Sure thing. That thing was a piece of junk anyway."
"So, do you think Wilbur will be okay?" Licorice asked. They all looked over at the giant unconscious worm, who was being airlifted away to a place where he'd never bother them again.
"I'm sure he'll be fine." Blue said.
"Where's he going anyway?" Swindler asked.
"They're taking him to Japan. That's all right, they're running out of ideas for monster movies anyway. He could be their newest hit." Kapowski said.
~Thanks to AustinCarter4Ever for her suggestion!
Episode Twelve-Stuck on a Ledge
The bell rung, signaling freedom from English class for the students, bored silly by the hodge-podge of words written so long ago by William Shakespeare.
"Ugh, it's as if that story was written with the torture of high school students in mind." Swindler groaned.
"Come on, Swindler. William Shakespeare was perhaps the greatest writer to have ever lived. He's a master of the English language!" Kapowski protested.
"If you call that stuff English, then I've been speaking another language my whole life!"
"Man, it's been a long day. Dad's lecture on archaebacteria combined with Mr. Joe's uninteresting story about his adventures through the Aztec tombs has given me the craving for a nap." Blue said.
"I know just what you mean. With tall the homework I've gotten lately, how am I supposed to get my beauty sleep? If I don't sleep in my freezer for at least ten hours, My hairdo starts melting! This kind of hair doesn't just happen you know." Licorice said.
"Well, at least now it’s the end of the day. Time to hop on the bus and go home!" Kapowski cheered.
The hundreds of students blasted forth from the doors, excitedly dashing to the bus loop. The group of friends walked around the whole bus loop, searching for their bus.
"Hey guys, um...where's our bus?" Swindler asked.
"I don't know. Let's check the bus charts, maybe we missed it." Blue suggested. They made their way to the charts that were posted on the brick wall of the school. Snow looked the chart over and shook her head.
"It isn't here." she said.
"What!?" Licorice shrieked.
"I heard what you said! How can it not be here?"
"It's probably just late." Kapowski said.
"It probably just broke down, and now they're sending a replacement bus." Blue offered.
"It's probably just stuck on the roof." Swindler said.
"Yeah, see Lick, there's nothing to...stuck on the roof?!" Snow asked. Swindler pointed above them.
They tilted their heads back to see the large school bus on the roof of the school, busted up and broken.
"How did we not hear it crash?" Kapowski asked.
"Where's the bus driver?" Snow asked.
"There he is, coming out from behind the bus!" Swindler yelled.
"Hey there kids, how are things going?" the bus driver, a gruff, bearded man wearing a Viking helmet asked.
"Um...good..." Kapowski answered.
"Ah, that's nice."
They stood there several moments, looking at each other. It was completely silent. The Viking smiled at the children.
"Well why are you up there?!" Licorice shouted.
"Oh, right, well...my brother came to me today and said he had finally achieved his goal of creating a flying vehicle." he replied.
"Okay, that's nice, but what does that have to do with anything?"
"And what's wrong with your brother? Hasn't he heard of airplanes?" Swindler asked.
"Air-what? Ha-ha, you kids and your fancy gadgets. As I was saying, he had finally achieved his goal of inventing a flying vehicle. He asked me to test it. I agreed, and before long, we had two-hundred crows tied to the roof of my bus."
"Where did he get that many crows?"
"Where did he get that much rope?" Blue asked.
They all looked at him.
"That!? That's what you find weird about his story?!" Kapowski shouted in disbelief.
"Can I finish my story now? Anyway, once we got up in the air, we um, ran into some difficulties." the bus driver said.
"Like what?" Snow asked.
"You can't steer buses in the air. So, the crows pretty much decided where to go for us. We sat back and enjoyed the ride for a bit, until we crashed into an unidentified flying object."
"A UFO?!" Kapowski cried.
"Yes. It was long and slender, with two wings, one on each side. It appeared to have some sort of engines on it, and lots of windows."
"That's an airplane!" Blue shouted.
"Like I care what it is? Anyways, we crashed and the crows came loose. The bus fell and crashed on top of the school."
"Oh, so...is your brother up there with you?" Snow asked.
"Yeah, he's up here. How you doing over there Olaf? Olaf!? Ah, he's somewhere on the roof."
"Okay, so that was a nice story and all, but how are we going to get home if you're stuck on the roof?"
"That's a very good question."
Silence came again for a few minutes, the bus driver sitting on the roof, looking around.
"Well?" Licorice asked.
"Oh, right, I was talking to people. Ah, the answer is no, you won't and can't get home without my bus."
"All right, then let's get the bus down from there."
"Um, right. One problem, I'm not strong enough to lift the bus."
"Then we'll have to find another way. I've got to get home man, my bed is calling me!" Blue shouted.
"Very well. What plans do you guys have?"
"I don't know. Maybe we should ask for some help."
"Yeah, there are other students that ride this bus after all. I'm sure they'd want to get home just as badly." Snow said.
"Okay, then let's go get some help." Licorice said.
"Okay!" the bus driver said. He started to walk in the same direction the others were walking, catching himself just before falling.
"Did you see that? I almost fell off the roof! I can't believe it, I almost fell off the roof!" he shouted.
"So, you want me to help you get a school bus and its driver off of a roof?" Canary asked.
Canary burst out laughing.
"That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!"
"Dude, I'm serious. Look over there." Swindler said.
"Ha-ha...oh, there is a bus on the roof. Is that...our bus?"
"Yeah, so you gonna help or not?"
"Yeah man, totally, I really just want to go home."
"Okay, we're back, and we got help." Snow said. Each of them came back with an extra person.
"Perfect, now let's put a plan together." Blue said.
"I have analyzed the skill sets of each of the ten people here and have put together which ones will work best in what order. I suggest we begin with the most effective solution." Rex suggested.
"All right, where do we start?" Kapowski asked.
"First up is Zapo. I think that his dimensional rift and fault line powers can open a portal to safely transport the bus to the ground."
"Oh, um, I don't know about this. I have not fully developed my abilities yet. I may not be able to open a portal big enough." Zapo said.
"Just give it a try." Swindler said.
Zapo stepped up. He detached his hands, which flew off towards the bus. They gripped an invisible object and began to pull. Zapo grunted as he attempted to open the large portal.
Eventually, his hands could not bear the resisting force that kept the space-time continuum held together, and his grip faltered, closing the portal.
"I am sorry, I have failed." Zapo said.
"That is all right. Up next is Hotair. If we tie ropes from his basket to the bus, he may be able to lift it out of there."
"I will try my best to help my friends." Hotair said. With that, he flew up onto the roof, where the bus driver began to tie ropes from his basket to the bus.
"Okay, heave, ho!" the bus driver called. Hotair floated up. Soon the ropes became taut, and the real lifting work began. Hotair grumbled at the large weight. Soon Hotair began to drift down, until he was back on the ground.
"Sorry, friends, but the bus is just too heavy." he said.
"Are you okay? You look a little...deflated." Blue said.
"I am fine. What will we do next?"
"On to plan C." Rex answered.
They tried everything. Okie and Dokie's pet dinosaur couldn't even get onto the roof with her tiny arms. Kit and Angelo weren't strong enough to airlift the bus out. It seemed that they were doomed to stay at the school.
"It seems we're doomed to stay at the school!" Swindler said.
Yeah, that's what I just said. Me, the narrator.
"Well kids, thanks for trying anyway. I guess I'll just stay up here." the bus driver said.
"There's no reason you have to stay up on the roof! We can still get you down, at least. Just jump, and someone will break your fall." Swindler said.
"That's a terrible idea." Kapowski said.
"Here I go!" the bus driver called, leaping off the roof.
"Ahhh!" Kapowski cried as the Viking landed on him.
"You were right, it felt like landing on a pillow!"
"Ugh, it felt like getting crushed by a Viking."
"Well, now that I'm down, I guess we should just walk home."
"No way, I'll bet we can get the bus down somehow." Snow said.
"How?" Kapowski asked.
"Perhaps we can be of assistance." a voice echoed in their minds.
"Neko! Owl! What are you doing here?" Licorice asked.
"We stayed after for choir practice. We were just about to go home when we noticed your predicament." Owl said.
"Well we'd appreciate the help, but we've literally tried everything at this point." Snow said.
"It seems to me that you are trying to use brawn. Allow brains to have a whack at it."
Owl flew up to the roof. Using his telekinesis, he levitated the bus into the air. He moved it over to the bus loop and set it down on the ground gently.
"Thanks Owl, you were a big help." Kapowski said.
"No problem. Maybe you could repay us by coming over to hang some time." Owl said.
"Oh sure, we'd love to." Snow said.
"As long as we don't play that nerd stuff." Licorice said.
"Towers and Tarragons is a quality RPG! Don't make me use my powers to melt your brain!" Owl shouted.
"Everyone, on the bus!" the bus driver called.
Everybody packed onto the bus, eager to finally go home after the long day.
"Well, at least its Friday." Blue said.
"Friday? Friday is tomorrow, today is Thursday." Snow said.
"You're joking, right?"
"Of course I am. You still have to go to school tomorrow though to fill out that Saturday detention thing."
"Darn it! Why did I ever post that picture of the Cheese Moon on Nitrome Boss's door! How is that 'mooning'?"
"I don't know, but his reaction was still pretty funny." Swindler said.
"Yeah, I guess it was."
They all laughed together in a classic happy-ending-to-the-story-conclusion kind of way.
"Why isn't the bus moving?"
Episode Thirteen-Back In Those Days...
Swindler groaned, stretching out the groan as long as he could.
"Are you done?" Blue asked.
"Nope." Swindler replied, followed by more groaning.
"How about now!?"
"No." The groaning continued, all the other students in the science classroom staring at him in annoyance.
Swindler shrugged. "I guess."
"It's not that bad Swindler, it's just a science project. And you can have partners." Kapowski said.
"Dude, be my partner!"
"What? So you can dump all the work on me? Yeah, right! I already asked Snow to be my partner."
"Snow, say no!"
"Sorry Swindler, I already agreed to be his partner." Snow responded.
"Darn! Wait, there's still hope! Blue, be my partner!" Swindler begged.
"Me? You know I'm not good at projects!" Blue protested.
"Yeah, but you have the supercomputer mech suit to help you with your project."
"Yep, which is exactly why I asked him to be my partner." Licorice said.
"What? But...when did all this happen?! The project was assigned like five minutes ago! Remember, all the groaning?"
"Sorry Swindler, but it looks like you're going to have to find someone else to be your partner."
"Ugh, you mean I have to recruit some nerd outside of our clique? Ugh, that means actually talking to nerds that I don't know..."
"You complain too much." Kapowski said.
"I do not!" Swindler snapped back in the whiniest voice possible.
ONE HOUR LATER
"Awesome, I got the last chocolate milk!" Arctic Arthur cheered, continuing down the lunch line.
"What?! I always get chocolate milk!" Swindler complained. He groaned and moaned.
"Quit your whining! Just have regular milk!" Snow yelled in exasperation.
"But we just got out of gym class. Chocolate milk is the best beverage to have after a period of physical exertion. Trust me, I saw it on the side of a chocolate milk bottle!"
"Enough with the groaning already. We've had enough." Blue said.
TWO HOURS LATER
"C'mon, Swindler, I'll give you a ride home." Licorice offered.
"Thanks!" Swindler said, climbing into the passenger seat of Licorice's car.
Swindler shivered. "It's cold in here."
"I'm made of ice cream, do you expect me to be blaring the heat in here all the time?"
They were nearing the school's exit, when another car came roaring past them, cutting them off and screeching out of the school parking lot.
"Oh come on!" Swindler cried.
"It's fine, Swindler." Licorice said.
"How could you let a guy do that to you?"
"When you're a driver, you have to learn to keep a cool head. Which in my case is all the time..." Licorice replied.
Licorice pulled over to the side of the road.
"What?" Swindler asked.
"Out of my car. I'm sick of you groaning and whining about every little thing."
"Fine!" Swindler snapped, getting out of the car. Licorice peeled off, soon out of sight.
Swindler stood on the curb next to a pile of trash. He sighed and kicked a tin can.
"Stay away from my can!" a voice shouted. Swindler jumped away as a red furry creature emerged from the trash heap. The creature was small and had two legs, lacking arms. It had two black eyes and wore a soda bottle with the bottom half cut off on his head.
"Ahh! Who are you?!" Swindler asked.
"I am Davis, but you can call me Kyle!"
"'Cause Kyle sounds cooler to me! You got a problem with that?"
"Good. Saw what happened there."
"Oh, you did? Are you going to sympathize with me?"
"Of course not! Your whiney behavior was preposterous! Back in those days during the war, that kind of behavior in the training academy would have you on dishes duty for the next month. Attitude like that on the battlefield...means death."
"Uh huh...well, nice talking to you, crazy--I mean, Kyle! But, I've got to find another ride home..."
"Why, so you can complain to your parents about how your smart girlfriend dropped your sorry behind on a street corner? More whining...the general would be very disappointed. If you want an attitude adjustment, come with me. I'll fix you right up."
"Uh, as much fun as that sounds, my mom doesn't like me being late for dinner, so..."
"Shut up! We're doing this now!"
"Hey! I told you to call me Kyle!" he yelled.
Sorry, Kyle suddenly smacked Swindler upside the head. Swindler yelped.
"Every time you whine about something, you're going to get a head smack. Don't make me shoot you with my gun helmet!"
"That's a soda bottle." Swindler replied.
"It is not!" Kyle yelled. "Let the training begin!"
HALF AN HOUR LATER
"All right, I'm a little sissy penguin, and I just took your chocolate milk. Are you going to complain?" Kyle asked.
"That's right! Complaining gets you nowhere! To truly make progress, you must take action! Back in those days during the war, Derek and I didn't defeat the Triclopian hordes by complaining that they were firing bullets at us! No! We picked up our gun helmets and shot those suckers right out of the sky! Now, what will you do!?"
"That's right, now take back the chocolate milk!"
Swindler charged at Kyle. Kyle stood next to the chocolate milk. He then kicked the bottle out of the way as Swindler dove headfirst for it. He skidded along the ground and came to a halt.
"That was lesson two. Always be ready to change direction. Back in those days during the war, we changed direction immediately as needed! Otherwise you'd be blown to bits by a Triclopian missile!"
"But I'm not learning combat techniques! I thought this was just an attitude adjustment!"
"Oh yeah...sorry about that. But not really! Yeah!" Kyle shouted to the sky, running off into the distance.
"Where did that guy come from?" Swindler wondered.
The next day at school, the group was waiting in the lunch line.
"Wow, getting the last chocolate milk two days in a row? What are the odds!? I only hope that no one seeks vengeance on me for stealing the chocolate milk that they wanted and attacks me in all of their envious fury!" Arctic Arthur said, skipping down the line happily.
"Uh oh, Swindler's going to complain again..." Kapowski said.
"No, it's all right. Yesterday, an old, homeless war veteran taught me that complaining will get you nowhere. He gave me a real attitude adjustment." Swindler said.
"Wow, that's really cool. So, no more complaining?" Licorice asked.
"Nope, no more complaining. It's better to...take action!" Swindler shouted, charging towards Arthur.
"Ahhh! An ironic situation has come upon me! Help! He's biting my flipper! Ahhh!" Arthur cried.
The group of friends sighed.
"Well, at least he's stopped complaining." Blue said.
Episode Fourteen-Livin' the Good Life
"Justin! Stop her!" Austin commanded, pointing at Snow. He and Justin had been in the middle of their latest scheme--replacing all of the teacher's chairs in the school with cacti--when Snow had arrived to thwart them.
Justin sighed. "Fine." Justin charged at Snow, arming himself with a baseball bat. Snow whipped out a cool-looking secret-agenty gun and aimed at Justin.
"Whoa! You have a gun!?" he cried.
"Relax, it's not bullets, it fires sleep darts." Snow replied, firing one of the darts into Justin's neck.
"Oh..." he said sleepily as he began to doze off.
Justin later awoke in the nurse's office at BetterthanCuboy Academy.
"Oh, good, you're awake." Austin said from his seat by the bed.
"Ugh...what happened?" Justin asked.
"Oh, you got knocked out with a sleep dart. And then she proceeded to stop my plans...again. But don't worry, we'll accomplish our goal soon enough, Justin. I have a new plan! Now, this time, you're going to get me a truckload of fake turtles, and then--"
"That's it! I've had enough!"
"What? You haven't even heard what the turtles are for yet!"
"No, I mean these dumb schemes of yours. Look, I know you want to take down Cuboy Academy and all, but I've never really desired to do that. I'd rather just leave them alone and focus on my life, you know?"
"Well, what do you want to do?"
"Me? I...I want to sing!" Justin sung as inspirational music played in the background.
"Where'd that music come from?" Austin asked.
"Sorry Austin, I guess what I'm trying to say is...I'm done. I don't want any part in your schemes any more. I'm moving on."
"What? But, we're best friends! How could you do this to me?"
"I'm not saying we're not friends any more, I'm just saying...I'm tired of getting punched in the gut, thrown into dumpsters, being eaten whole, and getting knocked out by sleep darts. I can't be your goon anymore."
"Since when are you my goon?"
Justin raised an eyebrow at Austin's ridiculous statement.
"Fair point. But c'mon man!"
"No, I'm moving on."
"Fine! Good riddance! I'll find another goon! Yeah! And he'll be way better at getting punched in the gut than you ever were!" Austin shouted at Justin as his friend departed.
"Okay, good luck!" Justin called over his shoulder.
"Oh gosh, where am I going to find another goon?" Austin asked himself.
Meanwhile, the Cuboy Academy crew were enjoying lunch in the courtyard.
"All I'm saying is, you've got to know when the time is right. You can't just randomly throw chili peppers into a crowd of howler monkeys, it's all about timing." Swindler said.
"Huh, I guess I never thought of it that way." Kapowski said.
"Hey Justin, what're you doing here?" Licorice asked.
"Oh, it's my free period, so I thought I'd come over here and see what's up." Justin replied.
"That's cool. You seem pretty happy. What's up?" Blue said.
"I just feel like...a weight has been lifted off my chest."
"Are you a bit light headed? Sleep darts can do that to you, you know." Snow said.
"Sleep darts?" Kapowski asked.
"Ha, just, um, making a joke. Hey look, a giant pot of scorching hot soup that could potentially scald someone is being carried by that clumsy cook." Snow said, trying to distract them from her last statement.
"Oh yeah, look at that. Hey Justin, isn't that Austin over there?" Swindler asked.
"Yeah, but I'm kind of trying to keep my distance. We had a bit of an argument earlier." Justin replied.
"I wonder why he's at Cuboy Academy." Kapowski said.
"Hello there large, burly meathead. How would you like to be my goon? You'd be paid absolutely nothing and would be thrust into life-threatening situations at my command. What do you say?" Austin asked.
"That sounds like a horrible deal. Get out of here before I break your head." Hallbert replied.
"Oh, ha ha, no need for violence, I'll just uh, be on my way!" Austin replied, running away from the tough-guys table. "Oh boy, finding a goon is going to be harder than I thought."
"You need a goon?" a voice said.
Austin looked up from where he sat against the brick wall to see an orange squid standing in front of him.
"Yeah, why do you ask?" Austin questioned.
"Well, my name is Splurt, I'm a certified goon, here's my card." the squid responded, handing Austin a card.
"It's all covered in ink, I can't read it."
"Ah, you don't need to be able to read it! Just know that I am ready and willing to work, sir!"
"Really? Great! You're hired! We start immediately. Do you have any ways to get a truckload of fake turtles?"
"Do clumsy chefs drop pots of scalding hot soup?"
"I don't know." Austin replied. Suddenly, the clumsy chef tripped and spilled his pot of scalding hot soup all over Austin.
"Ow!" Austin yelled.
"Yes, they do." Splurt said.
Later, Justin was walking down the sidewalk. As he walked, the clouds blew away and the sun shone bright. The flowers bloomed and the birds sang. The children laughed and the cars crashed. Rats ate garbage and pizza delivery guys got inadequate tips.
"Wow, everything seems to be going great today!" Justin said.
Meanwhile, Austin and Splurt are working on their scheme.
"Ow! These are snapping turtles! I said to get fake regular turtles!" Austin cried as one of the turtles bit his arm.
"Sorry boss!" Splurt said.
"Get it off me!"
"Yes sir!" Splurt said. Splurt grabbed the turtle and yanked it off. As he did this, some ink sprayed off his tentacle and into Austin's eyes.
"Ahg! My eyes! Why is everything going wrong today?!"
Meanwhile, the group of friends sat in history class.
Several minutes of silence pass.
"Everything's been pretty mediocre today." Swindler said.
"Yeah well, we're not in this episode much." Kapowski said.
"I would say don't break the fourth wall, but apparently that joke is overused." Swindler replied.
More silence passed.
"Klemen702, if you're reading his, know that that joke was inspired by you." Kapowski said.
"I can't resist anymore. Don't break the fourth wall." Swindler said.
Justin walked into Austin's secret hideout.
"Austin! Austin, I--oh yeah, I'm not his goon anymore. Well, then I guess I'll just be on my way then..." Justin said.
"Justin! Justin!" Austin shouted, running up to him. His face was covered in ink and his clothes were tattered.
"Austin? What happened?"
"Well, I hired a new goon named Splurt. After an hour of working for me he asked for his payment." Austin said.
"That dolt! He should know better! You don't pay people, you're Austin!"
"I know right!? Anyways, he got really upset and now he's out to get me. Help!"
"All right, I'll help." Justin replied.
"Austin! Where are you! Give me my money, Austin!" Splurt yelled, running through the secret hideout in search of Austin. "I know you're in here!"
Then, Roly Poly, Justin's pet porcupine, rolled out into the area where Splurt stood.
"Huh? Aw, a cute little porcupine! Hi there little guy, how'd you get in here? Are you lost?"
"No, he's my pet." Justin said, stepping out from behind the fence.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Justin, Austin's real goon. And he wants you to know that you are fired! Sick 'em Roly Poly!"
Roly Poly growled at Splurt and fired quills at the orange squid.
"Ouch! Quills!" Splurt screamed as he ran out of the hideout.
"Thanks Justin, you really saved me from trouble there." Austin said.
"Yeah, but in the future, I want special compensation if I get beat up during one of your schemes." Justin said.
"What? Dude, I got no money!"
"Not money, candy. One king-sized chocolate bar ought to do it."
"All right, fair enough. Hey, do you think you can take me to the nurse?"
"This ink really stings my eyes."
The two laughed together.
"No seriously, it's burning extremely badly." Austin said.
Episode Fifteen-The One with Three Storylines
"Swindler, do something!" Snow shouted.
Swindler stood idly, sipping his Big Chug size soda.
"I don't know, I think I might sit this one out." Swindler said.
"Dude! Someone's got to help me!" Kapowski shouted, currently in Hallbert's grasp.
"This'll teach you to call me dumb!" Hallbert yelled as he shoved Kapowski into his own locker. Hallbert then punched the lock, deforming it greatly.
"I didn't say you were dumb, I said you were an imbecile. In fact, I am very impressed that you had enough intelligence to know the definition of imbecile!" Kapowski said in protest from inside the locker.
Hallbert growled at him and stomped off.
"Are you okay Kapowski?" Snow asked.
"I could be worse. I could be stuck in Swindler's locker. Have you smelled that thing? Yuck!" Kapowski replied.
"Don't worry, I'll get you out of there; what's you're combination?" Licorice asked.
"Sixteen, twenty three, eight." Kapowski replied. Licorice struggled to turn the combination lock's dial.
"It won't budge! I guess Hallbert broke it when he punched it."
"You mean I'm stuck in here?! I can't be trapped, I've got plans today! The debate club was finally going to argue over whether or not I should be admitted into their club! I can't miss that!"
"Don't worry, I feel partially responsible for this because I stood idle, so I'll spend the rest of today trying to get you out of there." Swindler said.
"Oh thank goodness, my fate rests in the hands of Swindler. What could go wrong?"
"Well, while you guys do that, I've got a double date tonight." Blue said.
"Oh yeah, did things go well with Sorbet last time?" Swindler asked.
"Pretty well, I'd say. But just for the record, she isn't my girlfriend. We're just friends hanging out together...as a group."
"Right, of course." Snow said winking at him.
"What...what is that? Why are you winking at me?"
"Snow! Licorice! I need your help!" Canary said, dashing up to them.
"What is it?" Licorice asked.
"Well, you know how I am involved in every extra-curricular activity at the school?"
"Well I applied to join the newly formed Dance Club, and they rejected my application! Can you guys help me get in?"
"You know you don't have to be in every club, right?" Snow asked.
"I know that! Now come on!" Canary replied, dragging the two of them off.
"All right, I'm going to need a lock pick set, a football helmet, and a sledgehammer. Can you get me those things?" Swindler asked.
"I'm stuck inside of a locker! What do you think?!" Kapowski replied.
"Oh yeah...I guess I'll be right back then."
"Wait! Don't leave me here! It's dark in here...I think something wet just ran up my leg...I'm scared!"
Meanwhile, Blue met up with his group for the double date.
"Hey Yin, Yang, Sorbet, what's up?" Blue asked as he approached the group.
"Hi Blue!" they all replied.
"So, today I was thinking that we could...who's this?"
"Oh, you know Mint Choc Chip, right?" Sorbet asked in her sweet Southern accent.
"Yeah, we've met before. Had our differences, and such. Why is he here?"
"Well, last time was just a bit awkward. I felt like a fifth wheel around you guys."
"Fifth? There were only the four of us!"
"What am I, a pulverized carburetor?" Rex209 asked.
"Yeah, just with you and Rex and Yin and Yang going out on dates, I felt a bit left out. So this time, I invited Mint Choc Chip to join us." Sorbet explained.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rex and I are not dating! We're more like brother and sister if you think about it, since our dad, though having no genetic relation, did create us."
"That's right, the Professor made us both." Rex209 declared.
"Oh, I just figured since you're always with each other that you must be dating. Sorry about that, but we can still have a fun time today, right?" Sorbet asked.
"So, I was thinking that we could go see a movie and then meet at my place for some pizza and games afterwards. Sound good?"
"Oh, Mint actually already came up with tonight's plans. Maybe next time." Yin said.
"Oh, all right..."
In the meantime, Snow and Licorice were helping Canary with his predicament.
"Why do you think they rejected your application?" Snow asked.
"I have no idea! I'm in every club, there's not one thing I'm not good at!"
"Um, Canary, how about your dancing?" Licorice asked.
"My dancing? Well, it could be better, but..."
Canary began to dance, but his footwork was sloppy and he quickly found himself flopping onto the floor in a tangle.
"We've got some work to do..." Snow said.
"All right, so the lock picking didn't work...mostly because I don't know how to pick a lock. Now it's time for plan B!" Swindler said as he placed the football helmet on his head.
"What's plan B? What are you doing out there?" Kapowski asked from inside the locker.
"Charge!" Swindler yelled at the top of his lungs, running at the locker.
"Don't charge!" Kapowski yelled back. Swindler rammed into the locker head-on. "Ouch! What were you thinking?!"
"I was thinking maybe I could ram it open."
"How'd that work out for you?"
"Not too good, I think I need to do it again, but hit harder this time."
"Okay Canary, so when you dance, you've got to be graceful and make sure that you go with the flow, step to the beat! Now, when Licorice plays the music, we'll begin dancing. Just follow my lead." Snow said. "Hit it, Lick!"
Licorice started the music. Snow began to dance to the hip jam that began to play, and Canary attempted to mimic her moves.
"I think I'm getting it!" Canary said.
"Oh yeah? Then try this!" Snow said, going into a wild spinning move. Canary attempted to imitate it. He spun faster and faster, soon spinning out of control. He crashed into the janitor's closet, emerging from the closet with a bucket on his head. He removed the bucket.
"I think I should stick with some more simple stuff."
"And then I told him to back off! You don't want a piece of this! And lemme tell you, the little wimp did himself good. He backed off right then and there." Mint said, finishing his story. The group had gathered at Off the Rails Taco Hut for a meal.
"Wow, what a great story!" Sorbet said.
"Oh Mint, what a fantabulous story! I would pity anyone who missed such an enthralling tale!" Blue mumbled, trying to mimic Sorbet's Southern accent. Blue groaned. "This is turning out to be a really lousy day."
"I thought you said that you and Sorbet were not dating. Why should it bother you that she and Mint are going out?" Rex said.
"I'm up for it."
"Fine...I am not dating Sorbet, but at the same time seeing her dating Mint makes me feel...weird..."
"Yeah...I can't really explain it..."
"Sounds like jealousy to me."
"Jealousy? How would you know what jealousy is?"
"Licorice explained it to me."
"Are you jealous?"
"No! Maybe...maybe a little..."
"Why don't you tell Sorbet how you feel?"
"Yeah...yeah! Wait, no! Why should I take relationship advice from a robot that doesn't understand emotion?"
"I don't know. I just feel that that is what you should do."
"Hey, Blue, are you done getting your refill yet? Your food is getting cold, Mint and I just might eat it!" Sorbet called from over at the other table.
"Yeah, I'm coming!" Blue responded. He and Rex walked back over to their table.
"Remember, just tell her how you feel." Rex said as they approached the table.
Blue gulped with anxiety.
"Ow! Ouch! Urgh! Augh! Ahhh! Stop--hitting--the--locker--it--isn't--working!" Kapowski yelled between hits. Swindler groaned and threw down the sledgehammer in frustration.
"I give up!" Swindler yelled.
"You can't give up!"
"I'm stuck inside of a locker!"
"Good point...but I've tried everything, what else should I do?"
"Hello there Swindler, why are you still at school? It ended an hour ago." Professor said as he approached Swindler in the hall.
"Ugh, don't remind me. I'm trying to help Kapowski get out of this locker." Swindler said.
"Why didn't you just get a teacher?"
"Teachers can't solve everything Professor! No offense, of course."
"None taken. But what I meant was that every teacher in the school has a key that can get into any locker in cases of emergencies."
"Are you freaking kidding me!?" Kapowski shouted from inside the locker.
Professor unlocked the locker and Kapowski stepped out.
"Thanks goodness, I started to feel claustrophobic in there."
"Thanks Professor." Swindler said.
"No problem. You boys had best get home now." Professor said.
Professor left and the two boys got ready to leave.
"Wait, Snow and Licorice are probably still here helping Canary, let's go find them." Kapowski said.
"Well, all right." Swindler agreed.
They found the trio in the auditorium.
Snow and Licorice applauded as Canary finished his dance number.
Fluffykins, the president of the Dance club, nodded as Canary finished his performance.
"I must say Canary, you've surpassed all of our expectations. I suppose you can join our club after all..."
The trio cheered.
"Thanks guys, I couldn't have done it without your help." Canary said.
"No problem. Hey, Kapowski! You finally got out of the locker!" Snow said.
"About time too. I was running out of air in there!"
Meanwhile, the 'triple date' group was departing in front of Cuboy Academy.
"Hey, I had a great time. Thanks for inviting me Sorbet. See you tomorrow!" Mint Choc Chip said.
"Bye Mint!" Sorbet said. "Oh, hi Blue, what's up?"
"Look Sorbet, I don't feel comfortable around Mint. I guess I'm a little jealous now that you're going out with him." Blue confessed.
"Going out? Mint is my cousin. I just invited him so that I wouldn't feel left out, and besides, we all had a fun time tonight, right?"
"Oh, you guys are...oh! Okay, sorry for the misunderstanding."
"So...you were jealous, huh?"
"Um...uh, got to go! Rex! Deploy smoke bombs!"
"Deploying smoke bombs." Rex said, dropping smoke bombs onto the ground. Sorbet coughed and squeezed her eyes shut as the smoke cloud spread around. When the smoke cleared, Rex and Blue were gone.
"That was close." Blue said. He turned around to see the others standing there, smirking.
"So, you and Sorbet, huh?" Swindler said.
Episode Sixteen-Kapowski's Super Awesome Disc Golf Team Force!
"Well, Kapowski, I must say you have been doing very well in all of your classes this year." Mr. Protagonist said. Kapowski had gone into the guidance counselor's office for a scheduling for the next year.
"Thanks Mr. Protagonist. I try my very hardest, and I am also involved in several extra-curricular activities, book club, glee club--" Kapowski began.
"However, there is one thing I would recommend."
"Yes, I suggest that you join a sports team. Participating in a team-building activity such as a sport looks very good on college applications. Now I know college is still four years away, but it is best to think about these things ahead of time."
"A sport? Mr. Protagonist, with all due respect, I think you may have lost your mind. I am not an athletic person. Football? I'd be smashed into the ground! Wrestling? I might as well lie down on the mat, they'd pin me so fast!"
"Well, you could always join an easier sport like ultimate Frisbee or golf. Or disc golf."
"An easy sport?"
"Yep, an easy sport. And you're in luck, disc golf tryouts are after school today!"
"Off you go now, I have other students to talk to!" Mr. Protagonist said, pushing Kapowski out the door.
"Disc golf! He wants me to join disc golf!" Kapowski shouted.
"Disc golf is easy. And fun! In fact, I was going to try out." Snow said.
"Really? Awesome! We'd be on the same team!" Kapowski said.
"Yeah, well, you guys have fun playing Frisbee croquet or whatever. Lick and I are going to see a movie tonight!" Swindler said.
"About that Swindler, I don't really want to see Silly Sausage The Movie. The humor is dumb and cheesy. Maybe we should join the disc golf team, it would be fun!" Licorice said.
"But I already bought tickets!"
"Rex and I will go. I've been waiting to see Silly Sausage all year!" Blue said.
"All right, take them." Swindler said, sighing.
"Tryouts are after school today, so don't be late." Snow said, getting up from her seat at the lunch table.
The day after tryouts, the four were checking the school website for the posted results of who made the team.
"Yes! I made the team!" Snow cheered.
"So did we!" Licorice and Swindler chorused.
"I don't believe it...how did I not only make the team, but become team captain?" Kapowski cried.
"The coach must have really been impressed with your throwing arm. You hurled that disc at Swindler at the speed of sound!" Snow said.
"Now are you happy that I made fun of your hair?" Swindler said.
"Shut up! And no! How could I be team captain? I can't captain a sports team!" Kapowski shouted.
"Maybe that's another skill that you learn from a sport, like what Mr. Protagonist said about teamwork!"
"Yeah, Swindler's right, and also, sports aren't all about brawn. You have to really strategize to win a game." Licorice said.
"I guess that makes sense. When is our first game?" Kapowski asked.
"It says here that our first game is tomorrow. It's a home game against...oh boy, BetterthanCuboy Academy. Great." Snow said.
"Well then we'd better train hard at practice today. Let's show those BetterthanCuboy Academy losers that they should change their name to WorsethanCuboy Academy!" Swindler cheered.
"Yeah!" they chorused, high-fiving.
At practice that day, the four of them met their other three teammates.
"Hey Arthur! Hi Canary! Hi...Chocolate...how's it hanging?" Swindler asked.
"Um, okay I guess. Listen, I was thinking that maybe...maybe I could sit on the bench while the rest of you play?" Arctic Arthur asked.
"Darn, he stole my idea to bench myself..." Kapowski mumbled.
"Nothing. Listen Arthur, we're going to need all of the arms we can get out there. Chocolate will sit on the bench and be our back up."
"Oh, all right. Let's get to training."
During practice, the team trained themselves on their throwing power, accuracy, and trajectory.
"Great work guys, I'd say we're ready for tomorrow's game." Snow said.
"Yeah, I think we might actually beat BetterthanCuboy Academy." Kapowski said.
"Sure we will! Get rest tonight guys, we've got a big day ahead of us!" Swindler said.
The next day, the team formed up to play BetterthanCuboy Academy.
"Austin? What are you up to?" Snow asked.
"Today, nothing. I just like playing disc golf. Oh, and beating Cuboy Academy!" Austin replied.
"Yeah right, our team is going to destroy you!"
"I wouldn't be so sure about that..."
"So you are up to something..."
"I never said that..."
"Uh-huh. See you out on the field." Snow returned to where the team had huddled up.
"Guys, where is Chocolate and Arthur?" Kapowski asked.
"Guys!" Chocolate called, running up to them.
"What is it Choco?"
"Arthur broke his arms! He was going down the stairs with that kid Justin from BetterthanCuboy Academy, and he tripped and fell down the stairs and then the Justin kid accidentally dropped his ridiculously heavy backpack full of bricks on Arthur's other arm!"
"I knew Austin was up to no good..." Snow said.
"What will we do?" Kapowski asked.
"Well, I guess Chocolate will have to take Arthur's place." Swindler said.
"But Chocolate didn't train as much because we planned on benching him! Oh no, this is a disaster!"
"Don't worry, I'll try my hardest." Chocolate said.
"That's--" Kapowski began.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first disc golf game of the season! Today's game will be Cuboy Academy against BetterthanCuboy Academy! First up, Kapowski, captain of the Cuboy Academy team!" Mail Bird announced on his megaphone.
"Oh boy, here we go..."
Kapowski walked out onto the field with disc in hand. He threw the disc forward, allowing it to glide through the air towards its designated target. The disc fell a few feet short of the hoop.
"Up next, Austin Carter, captain of the BetterthanCuboy Academy. Dang, that is a mouthful." Mail Bird announced.
Austin tossed his disc. The disc flew through the hoop in one throw. The BetterthanCuboy Academy team cheered as they scored a point.
Kapowski took his next turn, getting the disc though the hoop in two throws.
The game continued, and soon they reached the eighteenth hole with both teams tied.
"All right, Chocolate, you're up." Kapowski said.
"Wait!" a small voice cried. They turned to see Arctic Arthur, with both of his flippers tucked into casts.
"Oh my gosh, Arthur! You came back! Do you think you can win the game for us even with your injuries?" Kapowski asked hopefully.
"What? No. I said wait because I wanted you guys to sign my casts." Arthur replied.
"After the game. Now go sit down." Swindler said.
Chocolate picked up the disc and walked onto the field. He threw the disc with great force. The disc soared over the hoop and landed in the grass. Chocolate had thrown too hard and too far.
Norman Noggin took his turn, throwing the disc at the hoop. The disc flew through, scoring the final point.
The BetterthanCuboy Academy team cheered in triumph.
"Well, at least we tried our best." Snow said.
"Yeah, but I'd have liked to get a trophy." Swindler said.
"Hey, guys." Austin said, coming over to them with the trophy. He held out the trophy. "I just wanted to say...LOSERS! We won, and you lost! In your face! We got the trophy and you get nothing! Oh yeah, chew on that, Cuboy Academy! Yeah!"
He walked off, hoisting the trophy up in the air.
Kapowski sighed. "Sorry guys, I know you really wanted that trophy."
Mail Bird walked over to them with a small silver trophy.
"Here's your trophy!" he said.
"Our trophy? But we didn't win." Licorice said.
"This is your participation trophy. For participating!"
Swindler snatched the trophy. "Better than nothing." he said, shrugging. They all cheered (maybe a bit unenthusiastically) and leapt into the air with joy, freeze-framing in mid-air.
"What are they doing?" Austin asked.
"I think it's supposed to be a cliché ending kind of thing."
"Dang, whoever writes these stories needs to come up with better jokes."
"Hey, breaking the fourth wall is my thing!" Kapowski yelled, still frozen in mid-air.
"You're frozen, you can't be talking right now." Austin said.
"I can do what I want! I've got a participation trophy!"
"Aw man! I want a silver trophy! All I've got is this big gold one."
"Deal with it!" Kapowski snapped, putting on a pair of sunglasses.
"Sarcasm man, sarcasm."
Episode Seventeen-The Penalty is...Stock Take!
"What do you mean I can't start a petition to have homework outlawed? This is a violation of my first amendment rights! I demand remuneration for this outrage!" Blue shouted.
"Homework is an essential part of the school system. You don't even get that much homework to begin with!!!111" Nitrome Boss yelled.
"I tried to tell him, but he would not listen. He just kept blabbing about starting another petition to get you fired." Rex209 chimed.
"Rex!" Blue shouted.
"I was just joking!"
"No, I have heard enough!"
Blue sighed. "Detention?"
"Oh no, this calls for something worse than detention."
"Yeah, and then Swindler just punched the guy. Can you believe it?" Kapowski asked.
"Dang, are you serious?"
"Yeah, it's a true...hey Blue, why are you and Rex all dirty?"
"Nitrome Boss assigned me to be Peanuts' assistant for the rest of the week." Blue answered.
"Peanuts the janitor?"
"Yep. I've got to say, I really hate doing this. Everything in the basement is either dirty, old, or smells like peanut butter."
"Why is Rex doing it if you got in trouble?" Snow asked.
"Yet another downside to our symbiotic relationship." Rex said.
"I bet it isn't that bad." Kapowski said.
"Oh really? After lunch, come down to the basement and I'll prove you wrong!" Blue challenged.
"Fine!" Kapowski replied.
After lunch, the two of them met in the basement.
"Hey Blue, come help me carry this ridiculously heavy box full of robotic turnips!" Peanuts called. Blue groaned and went to assist Peanuts.
"You know Blue, it isn't so bad down in the basement. There are lots of neat trinkets around. Hey, look at this! It's a Walkman! Man, I haven't seen one of these since I was little! My dad used to take me on walks and we'd take turns listening to the music on it. See Blue? These old things really do bring back memories." Kapowski said.
Blue grunted as he and Peanuts set down the heavy box.
"Yeah, you know what those turnips remind me of? Hiding my vegetables in my cousin's test chamber. Dad would be all like, 'good job Blue! Orange, eat your veggies!' It was so much fun." Blue replied.
"Blue, give me a hand with this box of buzzsaws." Peanuts shouted. Blue groaned and went to help him.
"Peanuts...do you...ever get...tired of being around all this junk?" Blue asked.
"Not really. I get paid in bananas, so it's worth it."
"Then why are you named Peanuts?" Kapowski asked.
"Well, it's a pretty long story...you guys don't have time for it."
"Tell us!" the boys chanted eagerly.
"Well, all right. It was quite a while ago, about two years, when I started working at Nitrome Towers, Nitrome Boss's office building. At first, things were great. I take stock of all the items, occasionally deliver some things to Nitrome Boss, and then I get paid in peanuts. But eventually, the peanut wages got smaller and smaller. Nitrome Boss thought I wouldn't notice, but boy was he wrong."
"What happened next?" Blue asked.
"I laid low for a while, let him think he was the leader of our little dance. Then, the day came where I took my chance. I skipped town with all of the peanuts. Nitrome Boss was furious when he heard what had happened, and sent everything he had after me."
"Oh man, this story has me on the edge of my seat!" Kapowski said.
"Eventually he caught me, sentenced me to the basement of Cuboy Academy, and then banned me from ever eating a peanut ever again. That's how I got my name."
"Well, that was a lousy ending."
"Well, we can't all have our happy endings kid." Peanuts said, returning to his job. "Come help me lift this."
"Hang on, Peanuts. How would you like to get out of here?" Blue asked.
"I'd love to, but how could that ever happen?"
"We'll bust you out! Also, we'll get you a whole crate full of peanuts for you!"
"Really? That'd be swell, but how would we get out? Have you seen security around here?"
"Don't worry, we've got friends in high places."
"So is everyone clear on the plan?" Kapowski asked. They had assembled in the courtyard with several recruits.
"Got it!" everyone said.
"Okay, let's do this!"
The team broke up into their respective teams.
"All right Licorice, you're up." Blue said through the headset. Licorice went over to Nitrome Boss's office door and froze it shut.
"Okay Zapo, Kapowski, your turn." Licorice said.
Suddenly, a portal opened up in the wall of Nitrome Boss's office.
"What in the--" Nitrome Boss began. Before he could react, Kapowski rushed in through the portal, grabbed the crate of peanuts, and dashed back out. The portal close almost immediately. Nitrome Boss rushed over to the door, trying to open it.
"It's jammed! This is an outrage!!!!111" he yelled.
The team met back up in the cafeteria.
"All right, Nitrome Boss will be sending out the security guards any minute. Canary, have you got the empty boxes?" Blue asked. Canary nodded and began to distribute the empty boxes to everyone present.
"Okay Mr. Protagonist, do your thing."
Mr. Protagonist used his swapping powers to make all of the empty boxes look like peanut crates and the peanut crate look like an empty box. He then used his powers to make everybody look like Peanuts the janitor.
"Okay Peanuts, while security chases the rest of us, you make a break for it."
"Thanks guys, this means a lot."
"Hey! There are a bunch of monkeys holding peanut crates that all look exactly the same! Get them!" a mercenary shouted. Soon the whole room was full of mercenaries and security guards, chasing the monkeys around the room.
Peanuts ran out in all of the confusion. Blue snuck out with him. Once they were outside, Blue reverted back to his original form. He turned around and Rex blasted down all of the cameras and laser cannons mounted on the brick walls.
"Okay Peanuts, you're free!" Blue said.
"Thank you Blue, I'll never forget you!" Peanuts said. The chimp then ran off to who-knows-where.
The next day, Kapowski and Snow were talking at lunch.
"Oh, there you are Blue. Aren't you glad our plan was a success?" Kapowski asked.
"Yeah, it felt good to help Peanuts out."
"So, you joining us for lunch?" Snow asked.
"I can't, now that Peanuts is gone, I've been promoted to official janitor until Nitrome Boss can find a replacement. See you in the morning!" Blue said, walking off.
"I've never seen him so happy." Kapowski said.
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Nitrome School for Delinquent Boys!" the tour guide said cheerfully.
Blue sighed. "Man, this field trip is going to be boring!"
"Honestly, I agree with you. Where's the educational value in going to this place?" Kapowski asked.
"Now, if you'd all follow me this way, you'll find our mess hall." the overenthusiastic tour guide said as he led them into the next room. Inside the mess hall, boys sat at long rectangular tables eating, chatting, shouting, playing pranks, or looking at escape plans.
A tray of gruel flew into the wall and stuck to it.
"Ugh, is the food here...cement, or something?" Swindler asked.
"I assure you, young man, the food here is the best quality meals anyone could afford." the tour guide said.
A small green dragon with a yellow crest on his head walked up to the tour guide. "Mr. Walker, may I please have a bathroom break? That food made my stomach hurt."
"No! Get back to your assigned seat!"
The dragon dashed off crying.
"This way, tourists!" Mr. Walker the tour guide said.
"Whoa, who is that guy? He's kind of creepy." Swindler said, pointing at a table. A white eyeball with white legs sat at the table by himself.
"Don't be rude Swindler." Snow said.
"What? He's an eye, it's not like he can hear me."
Suddenly the eyeball got up from his seat and walked over to them.
"My hearing is better than you think." the eyeball said.
"Ahh! How are you talking without a mouth?" Swindler asked.
"I have a mouth."
"Where is it?"
"That's classified! Anyways, I need to tell you guys something...I need your help."
"What?!" the five of them said on surprise.
"Yeah...I'm being held here against my will. My parents sent me here thinking I was a troubled child. But it was my brother! He was the one who always caused trouble around the house! Not me! I need your help."
"Well, as much fun as that sounds..." Licorice began.
"Of course we'll help you!" Snow volunteered.
"Thanks! I'm Blink T. Right-Eye, by the way."
"Nice to meet you Blink. I'm Snow, and this is Kapowski, Blue, Swindler, Rex, and Licorice."
"Great. So, I already have a plan formulated, but it's going to take some work from all of us to get it done."
"All right, where do we start?" Snow asked.
"Hang on a sec." Blink said. He took out a bottle of saline solution and poured it all over himself, rubbing it into his eye membrane.
"Ugh, that is--that's so gross!" Swindler said.
"Sorry, I don't have an eyelid, so I can't blink. I need to do that every few minutes."
"All right, let's begin."
"And if you look this way--" the tour guide began. He suddenly stopped in his path. "My goodness, what happened here?" he asked.
"Help! I melted!" the purple puddle on the floor said.
"Is that...Licorice?" Purple Frost asked.
"Oh dear, this isn't good. I'll go and get the janitor. Kids, follow me." Mr. Walker said. The tour group left Licorice there on the floor.
The group of friends and Blink came out of a storage closet.
"That was close, Mr. Walker almost caught us." Blink said.
"Why did I have to be melted to serve as a distraction?!" Licorice yelled. Swindler scooped up her melted body and poured it into a jar.
"It's all right Licorice, we'll refreeze you in a molded container once we get back to Cuboy Academy. What's the next phase, Blink?" Kapowski asked.
"We need to get past the security office without being spotted. Swindler, run into the security office and distract them while we get past it." Blink ordered.
"Well, all right." Swindler said. Swindler ran down the hall and into the security office. "Look at me, I'm a delinquent and I'm trashing things!" Swindler knocked a lamp off of a desk and smashed it.
The security officers gasped.
"That was my mom's favorite lamp!" a security officer yelled.
"Get him!" they all shouted, charging towards him.
"Let's go." Blink said. The group snuck past the security office safely.
"Okay, this door is protected by a passcode. Kapowski, you can hack it, right?" Blink asked.
"Of course I can!" Kapowski said. He opened the panel by the door and began to tinker with wires.
"YOWCH!" he cried. "The wires electrocuted me!" His hair stood on end and his face was covered in soot.
"Guys, there is another door over there." Snow said, pointing to a regular old door.
"Oops." Blink said. They went out that door and down a stairwell.
"Okay, this is the exit. Rex, maybe you could blast it down." Blink said.
"I will try." Rex said. She blasted the door with her proton cannon, but the proton blast bounced off the door and cracked Rex's glass faceplate.
"Ow! That hurt!" Blue shouted.
"This sign by the door says the door is made of reflectium...good to know." Snow said.
"Maybe we could force it open another way?" Blink asked.
"Shh! Someone's coming!" Kapowski said. The figure descended the stairs and soon joined them.
"Oh hey Swindler, good thing you caught up to us."
"Those guys broke my leg and gave me a black eye!" Swindler shouted.
"Sorry about that..."
"Hey! Blink is getting away! Stop him!" a voice shouted from the top of the steps.
"I'm not going back to this place! I hate it!" Blink yelled, jumping out a window. Several guards ran down the stairs and out the door in pursuit of Blink.
"What just happened?" Blue asked. The head security chief walked over to the group of friends.
"Kids, I'm afraid you've been bamboozled by the school's most mischievous delinquent. He's pulled this scam plenty of times. He tricks some suckers into helping him escape, and makes sure they all get 'bad luck' along the way out." he explained.
"Wait, so...he had Licorice melted, me beat up, Kapowski electrocuted, and Rex and Blue shot with a proton blast on purpose?" Swindler asked.
"Well, at least I'm okay." Snow said.
"Look out!" a voice shouted. A Frisbee suddenly knocked right into Snow's head.
"Ouch." she said before falling over.
"Well, at least the field trip wasn't boring." Blue said.
Episode Nineteen-The Summer Dance (Season Finale: Part 1)
"C'mon, man, just go ask her." Swindler urged.
"I don't know, Swindler. What if she laughs at me? What if she says no? What if I completely embarrass myself?"
"Kapowski, do you think that Johannes Kepler discovered gravity in the year 1989 by asking 'what if'?"
"Besides the fact that that sentence is full of historical, grammatical, and scientific errors, I'm going to have to say that you have a good point. All right, I'm going to do it."
"'Atta boy! Now stroll on over there and ask her to the Summer Dance!"
Kapowski and Swindler made their way to the lunch table.
"Wait! Maybe I should do something special to ask her to the dance." Kapowski said.
"Way ahead of you. Here are some flowers and chocolates, and I'll play violin in the background." Swindler said, handing Kapowski the items.
"That's a viola!"
"Whatever! Just get over there."
Kapowski walked over to the table.
"Um, uh, hi Snow." he said, his voice cracking from anxiety. He cleared his throat. "Hi Snow." he repeated.
"Hey Kapowski. Are you excited for the Summer Dance this Friday night?" Snow asked.
"Oh, um, yeah, you know it. Listen, um, speaking of the Summer Dance, I was wondering if, um, maybe you'd like to...go to it, with me?"
Swindler poked Kapowski in the back with his viola bow.
"Oh, right, I also brought you these." Kapowski added, giving her the gifts.
"Aw, Kapowski, that's so sweet! Of course I will go to the dance with you!" Snow replied.
The whole cafeteria of students, which had halted its activity to watch the scene, filled the large room with a long "Awwwwww."
Kapowski smiled. He was so proud of himself for finally getting the courage to ask Snow to the dance.
The bell rang and lunch ended. The students dispersed and went to their classes.
"Nice job man!" Swindler commended.
"Thanks." Kapowski responded.
"So, have you decided what you're going to wear to the dance?" Swindler asked.
"C'mon dude! You need to dress nice. Don't worry, Blue and I will take you out later to get some nice clothes for the dance."
Meanwhile, Snow and Licorice were in their FACS class.
"I can't believe he finally had the guts to ask you out to the dance." Licorice said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Snow asked.
"Are you kidding? Everyone knows that Kapowski has the biggest crush on you."
"Gosh Snow, how oblivious you are sometimes!"
"I didn't realize that he liked me..."
"Yeah, well now you know. On to more important matters...like your clothes?"
"What's wrong with my clothes?"
"Not the ones you're wearing, to the dance I mean. Do you have a dress yet?"
"Well, of course I do. I've been saving it for this dance all year!"
"Perfect! After school we can go shopping for dresses."
"But I already have a dress."
"Yeah, but unfortunately you have no taste in fashion. That dress is probably not the best thing for you to wear. I mean, look at what you're wearing right now!"
"I thought you said there was nothing wrong with--"
"Ugh, Snow, just stop worrying! I'll be sure to find a nice dress for you, okay?"
Snow sighed and rolled her eyes.
The next day, Swindler, Blue, and Kapowski were at the mall.
"Yuck! I hate shopping." Blue said.
"So do I, but Kapowski needs to look good for the dance. Have you seen what he usually wears?" Swindler said.
"I can hear you!" Kapowski shouted from inside the dressing room.
"Sorry! I guess I've been hanging out with Licorice too much..."
"I feel silly in this."
"Nonsense! You'll look great! Come on out!"
Kapowski exited the dressing room. He wore checkered tights, a shirt with a motley of colored diamond patterns, and a jester cap.
"Swindler, I'm going to look like a fool at the dance if I show up in this." Kapowski said.
"I know, the real suit is right here. I just wanted you in that outfit! You look like a fool!" Swindler yelled.
"He's in a castle fool costume." Blue said.
"I know! Ha! Ha-ha! Okay, fun's over, put this suit on." Swindler said, handing Kapowski a nice black suit and tie. Kapowski went inside. Moments later, he reemerged wearing the very nice suit over a fancy white shirt and a sharp-looking blue tie.
"Looking good Kapowski! Okay, go ahead and take that off and we'll go pay for it." Blue said.
Kapowski went back inside.
After paying for the suit, the trio left the mall.
The next day, Licorice and Snow were getting ready for the dance.
"The limo will be here to pick us up at seven, so hurry up!" Licorice said.
Snow came out of the closet wearing a purple dress that was too long and had crazy frills and feathers all over it.
"Lick, no offense, but I don't like the dress you got for me. I'd rather wear my dress." Snow said.
"But your dress is horrible!" Licorice said.
"You haven't even seen it yet!"
Snow pulled her dress out of the closet. It was a beautiful blue gown with sparkles all over it.
"Wow, I guess I underestimated you. Okay, I guess you can change into that, but be snappy about it! The limo will be here in ten minutes!" Licorice urged.
Ten minutes later, the girls were ready and the limo had pulled up in the front. They walked down to the limo most elegantly.
Swindler and Kapowski opened the limo doors for their dates like good gentlemen, and then they departed for the dance.
Suddenly, Snow's phone rang. She picked it up and answered the call.
"Snow! I have horrible news!" Monty said through the phone.
"Not now Monty, tonight is the night of the dance." Snow replied.
"Hey Snow, who are you talking to?" Kapowski asked.
"My uncle." she replied.
"That's precisely what the problem is! Austin is planning on ruining the Summer Dance!" Monty said.
"On all the nights for him to pull shenanigans it had to be tonight?"
"I'm sorry, Snow. Austin will probably be at the dance to carry out his plans, so you can still enjoy your special night. Just keep an eye out for any trouble and be ready to stop Austin at a moment's notice!"
"Okay, I'll do my best." she responded, hanging up.
"Here we are, at Cuboy Academy! Enjoy the dance." the chauffeur announced. The couples stepped out of the limo and went inside.
"Oh Monty, please be wrong about Austin." Snow muttered to herself.
Episode Twenty-The Summer Dance (Season Finale: Part 2)
The dance was held in the gym. The room was dark save for the dazzling disco ball that flashed colorful lights around the room. The group made their way over to a table and sat down.
Snow looked around nervously for Austin.
"Are you okay Snow?" Kapowski asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. It's just that...it's the first dance I've been to at a high school. It's just a bit overwhelming is all." Snow answered.
Swindler nudged Kapowski.
"Ask her to dance." he mumbled.
"Um, Snow..." Kapowski began.
"Yeah?" she replied.
"Would you like to, um, go and dance with me?"
"Of course!" she replied. The couple rose from their seats and went out onto the dance floor.
"How about you, Licorice Lick?" Swindler asked.
"Huh? Oh yeah, I'd love some refreshments, thanks for asking." Licorice replied, not looking up from her phone. Swindler rolled his eyes and lumbered off to fetch some drinks.
"You're a great dancer." Snow said.
"Thanks, I uh, took some dance classes." Kapowski replied. "You're great too."
Suddenly, a slow song began to play. Kapowski looked over at the DJ stand. Blue gave a thumbs up.
"I didn't know Blue was the DJ." Kapowski said. Snow laughed. "Um, may I have this dance?"
"Why of course you can!" Snow responded. The two began to dance to the slow song.
"This music is pretty romantic." Swindler said as he returned to the table with the drinks. "Maybe we should go and dance?"
"Hm? Oh, thanks for the punch, hon." Licorice replied, sipping the drink. Swindler sighed.
"Hey, Snow, um, there's been something I've been wanting to ask you." Kapowski said.
"Yeah Kapowski?" she replied.
"I was wondering, if, maybe, you'd like to..."
"Hold that thought Kapowski. I just remembered that there was something I have to take care of." Snow said as she caught sight of Austin.
"Sorry, it's really important. Could you get me some refreshments while I take care of it?"
"Uh, yeah, of course!" Kapowski replied, smiling. Snow ran off the dance floor.
"All right, now where did Austin go?" she asked herself.
Kapowski returned to the table and sat down. He sighed.
"What's up dude?" Swindler asked.
"I was about to ask her out, when she said she had to do something and then ran off. I don't know...do you think she's trying to dodge the question?" Kapowski asked.
"No way, dude! Snow would never do that."
"Well then why is it that whenever I finally get a special moment with her, she has to run off? Remember, the last season finale, at the basketball game?"
"Fourth wall dude. Anyways, I'm sure she really does have something important to do."
"Yeah...maybe I should go talk to her."
"There you go, there's your solution. Now go find her, tiger!"
Kapowski got up from the table and went to find Snow.
"Aha! There you are, Austin!" Snow said.
"Oh, hey Snow. I'm glad you're here actually. Now I can tell you all about my super cool plan." Austin said.
"Forget it, I'm going to stop you before you can do anything about it."
"I'm going to tell you anyway. I am going to rig the disco ball to shoot lasers everywhere."
"But that means..."
"That's right! All of those expensive, fancy clothes will get ruined by lasers! Ha-ha ha-ha!"
"Not if I stop you first!"
"See, that's where back-up comes into play. I've accumulated quite a bit of muscle in the past few weeks. Perhaps you'd like to meet it. Justin! Norman! Vanilla! Hallbert! Jack! Fall in!"
The five previously mentioned characters came into the hall from around the corner.
"Get her!" Austin shouted.
Hallbert surged forth, arms outstretched. Snow leapt into the air, landed on his head, and then kicked off to send herself launching at Justin. After tackling Justin to the ground, she swept Norman and Jack Frost's legs from underneath them, sending them to the ground.
Vanilla melted on the spot from fear.
"Come on, guys! I'm not paying you to get knocked down!" Austin complained.
"You're not paying us at all!" Justin shouted.
Hallbert charged at Snow again. She sidestepped his attack and tripped him, sending him toppling on top of Norman, who was just about to get up again.
"I'm out of here!" Jack Frost said, running away.
"Get back here you coward!" Austin cried.
Snow karate-kicked Austin in the gut, causing him to double over on pain.
"Okay Austin, let me tell you what's going on here. I am supposed to be having the night of my life at this fun dance with this amazing guy that I like and I won't have you ruining it! Now get out or I'll assign you to kitchen clean-up for the next year!" Snow commanded. Austin and his goons fled the scene, tripping over each other as they went.
"Snow?" a voice asked. Snow turned around to see Kapowski standing there, confusion on his face.
"Hey..." she replied.
"Hi...um, what just happened here?"
"I uh, well, you see, I, um..." Snow sighed. "Can you keep a secret?"
"I am...a secret agent. I go on these missions to save the school from being shut down...usually it involves stopping Austin's hare-brained schemes."
"So that's why...that's why you had to leave at the basketball game? And why you're always getting early dismissals? And why you didn't go to the football game that one time?" Kapowski asked.
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"That's sort of the purpose of a 'secret' agent. It's supposed to be a secret."
"I'm sorry Kapowski. I really wanted to spend time with you tonight, but Austin had to choose tonight of all nights to pull his shenanigans. Can I make it up to you?"
"Just spend the rest of the dance with me, and I'll be all right." Kapowski said. Snow hugged him. "And also, I didn't know you liked me."
"What?" Snow asked.
"Back there, you told Austin you liked me."
"It's all right, that's great, because, there's something I wanted to ask you..."