Miner's epic quest is a series of stories about the miners from Cave Chaos, whether it be social life or them working down in the caverns. I try all my best to make Miner's Epic Quests to be a good series. Hope you enjoy! ( Yes grammar police, i know it's miners' )
Story 1: Introduction
Yes, I am aware that the above is the introduction, but think of this as a exposition of um... this chronicles whatever.
Many of you are familiar with the game Cave Chaos, how you control two hamster-like miners through a collapsing cave trying to avoid enemies. But what you didn't know is the lore in it, and also the third miner. If you can even call him a miner...
The brown miner that you are probably used to playing, if you are forever alone (terrible memes tally: 1) is Alexander. He is one of the more intelligent 'hamsters' and likes to mine. His maroon brother is Joey, although he likes to be called Xavier The Master, which really hasn't caught on. And last but not least, there is Redstart. He actually doesn't know his name, because everyone forgot it. He got the nickname from dressing up like batman in his earlier childhood for Halloween, which was homemade. This lead several to believe he was a bird creature, but called him Redstart to be nice. He was banished form the mines after a bulldozer accident making the cave fall apart while Alexander and Joey where in it and released tons of monsters from ancient catacombs, but was actually glad of this.
One day Redstart was playing his favorite video game: Leaf man 3. He liked it so much because he took the horrible quality of the game as an artistic expression. Then Alexander went in the room.
" Quiet! I am trying to beat my high score! " Squealed Redstart in a high pitched voice. " Well, me and Joey are going to the mines. We heard that a breed of flying sharks have infested the mines, so we brought laser pointers. " said Alexander. This interested Redstart, so he paused the game and said " You can't beat flying magical pigs with a low caliber laser pointer!". " No Redstart, they aren't magical. Well, maybe." said Alexander. "Laser pointers always keep me distracted! Vroom vroom!" said Joey. Alexander and Redstart were uneased by this, as Joey once drove a car to a vacant house claiming he saw the Lazer Lord ©. Joey and Alexander both left anyways. Redstart got tired of playing leaf man for a while, so he decided to play with his brothers. But he realized they were going to the mines." Ugh! I wish i could go play with my brothers and the pigs in the mines..." Redstart said " But they wont let me!". Then he had an idea. " If they wont let me in..." he said " Maybe they would let someone else in..." "No, that doesn't really help." . But then Redstart got a semi-brilliant idea, which is the fullest of the capability of his brain. "I can disguise myself! Yes!" He picked up a fedora and ran over to the mine entrance.
Meanwhile, Alexander and Joey were weapon browsing to find something that can hold off the laser sharks. Joey was begging to get a XL laser pointer, but Alexander wouldn't let him. " You know, I bet that Redstart would know what weapon to get. With that book of his." said Alexander. Because of an absence of education in Redstart's life, he carried around a book with information of everything in the natural world. However, he's been editing it with articles he found on Wikipedia. " Ah well. We'll just get this milk launcher i suppose." said Alexander " Maybe we can fill it up with acid..." "Can we fill it up with me?" asked Joey. "Maybe later, but right now we gotta take care of the pigs- I mean sharks"
Redstart was feeling nervous, he didn't know if this plan would work. He hoped the fedora will distract the entrance guard. Redstart approached the guard and said " Um... hi there I would like...umm... to go to the mines for an... a party. Yes" The guard said " ID card please." Redstart was prepared for this, so he made a piece of paper with a forged ID.
Last Name: Smith
Occupation: BEING SWAGALICIOUS
The guard didn't notice the phony ID, so he let him in the mines. While there, Redstart noticed a bulldozer. Not learning anything from the previous event that got him removed from the mines, he happily got in it and drove around the mines. When Joey and Alexander arrived, they drove to the infested mine. " You know, we've should've gotten that space laser thingy." said Alexander " I heard they can cut through rocks and aliens. Maybe-". He was cut off by seeing that Joey was busy staring at a laser pointer he was holding. " You brought that thing?" asked Alexander, but he got no response as it seemed Joey was hypnotized. When they got to the infested place, all was quiet. Then a fierce rumbling sound was heard " Prepare yourself!" said Alexander. Joey was still hypnotized. Then to their surprise, Redstart busted out from a wall into their area. " Oh, hi friends!" said Redstart, eager to see his brothers. " Redstart you've released the flying sharks like last time!" Said Alexander. " Look! I see piggies! Piggy piggy piggies!" said Redstart. All of a sudden a herd of flying sharks where flying everywhere. " Fire the acid!" said Alexander. Joey suddenly woke up from his trance of laser infinity. The milk launcher said "ERROR ERROR: SUBSTANCE HAS LOW PH, HIGHLY ACIDIC" . "Poop" said Alexander. Joey pointed his laser pointer to a wall, which actually distracted them. Redstart got an idea out of the blue. Bluestart. He shoved Alexander in the milk launcher " Wait wait wa-wa-no no NO NO NOOOOOOoooo!" said Alexander before Redstart launched him. Alexander successfully hit one of the flying sharks. This somehow made them all retreat. "Hey, what's going on here?" said the entrance guard. "SQUEAL" said Redstart, as he abandoned the fedora and ran off.
Later, at the house, Redstart agreed to never go back into the mines again, and thought that the time he has with his siblings already is good enough. "So can I be launched in the milk launcher?" asked Joey. "Not in the house." Alexander replied. " Aim for the house, got it!"."Wait, NO!" Alexander said, chasing him outside. Redstart was busy updating his book with Wikipedia, but wanted to be a part of the fun. He did a little dance in circles as Joey and Alexander ran around him. Redstart thought of this as a good day.